@KaballsDeep | Audio CW: Murder, Suicide, Kabal

[kaballin]

Hey assholes.

This is Kabal and I've got a proposition for you.

So I dunno how many of you were here right from the beginning like me, stuck in this place for fucking ever. Anyway, you know no one has died? People disappeared but no one's died.

Makes you wonder what happens to people when they do.

So in the interest of science and my amusement, I've got a prize for the first person to kill someone. I mean I guess you can off yourself too, but if you don't come back then you're screwed out of the prize, but you do you.

I've got a better phone than the shit we were given. It has games, these things: 🍆💦, a Geiger counter, music player. A bunch of other stuff. And it's yours if you prove you did the deed so we can see if they stay dead or turn into a zombie or who knows what else.

Don't have to kill anyone specific, but if it's Qubit I'll throw in a personal shield generator.

Oh and the robot samurai, two story tall lego sculpture and the light up metal ninja don't count. Gotta be a person.

Comments

[abheirrant]

And if he disappears next? They have different skills, Kabal. You cannot just replace one with the other.

[kaballin]

Sure I can. I just did.

What you want a list? Aight. If Peter disappears there's the guy with the wolf. Then there's the teenager who types terribly. Then either of the cops. The light up ninja. Cho. The dude with the abe lincoln hat. The guy with the axe. The one with the bow and arrow..

See? Plenty of do gooder types.

[abheirrant]

Do-gooders are not the same as people who can work the technology here, and you know it. Or at least I hope you know it. There's never any telling what's going on in thick skull of yours.

[kaballin]

Yeah I know it.

But they're also the ones that would try and figure it out for the good of the community.

If Qubit didn't want to be murdered he should try being less of a dickbag.

[abheirrant]

You are one all the time, but I have yet to see anyone sending the hounds after you. Perhaps your continued survival is due to the presence of such 'do-gooders.'

[kaballin]

Yeah and I expect people to try and murder me for it. I'm not the one acting surprised that someone hates them.

And my continued survival is due to me being able to take care of myself. Not because of some good will from the captain planet squad.

[abheirrant]

If you find yourself in pieces, don't expect me to come heal you. May you rot in the despicable choices you've made.

[kaballin]

I named you in my will and everything.

I've already rotted. I'm good, thanks.

[abheirrant]

I claim no responsibility.

[Even if he did do it. Kabal deserves that, right? Right?]

[kaballin]

I'm sure you'll get your chance some day. I believe in you.

[abheirrant]

Stand nearer to me next time you force me to rot a wall open. Then we'll see what your belief gets you.

[kaballin]

I've been dead. Anything you can do to me won't even be a quarter as bad as shit I've already gone through.

[abheirrant]

you what

[He would have typed that properly, or at least in caps, but he was too dumbfounded. He seems to regain his senses a minute later.]

Are you dead now? Undead?

[Is that what he sensed the first time he met Kabal?]

[kaballin]

Not currently.

Is undead different than being a revenant? Are there levels to this? I wasn't a zombie if that's what you're asking.

Which is good cuz eating brains sounds fucking awful.

[abheirrant]

[What what what WHAT]

A Revenant IS an undead, you absolute imbecile! Why are you asking ME that? What do you know about them? How are you NOT one now? Are you cursed? Have you been cursed this whole time while traipsing around Anchor, doing whatever you damn well please no matter who may be impacted? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

[kaballin]

Uh. Cuz I was one?

I always traipse around doing whatever I damn well please. No reason to change that here.

Calm down before you strain something.

[abheirrant]

You didn't answer any of my questions except the last one!

[kaballin]

You're the one getting all hot and bothered by undeads.

I didn't know this was a timed and graded exam.

1. I'm asking you because you seem real interested.
2. I know about them because I was one.
3.I woke up here like this. All alive and normal skin tone and everything.
4. Lots of people curse me, but I'm guessing that's not what you mean.
5. Sure maybe I have no idea.

A+ for Kabal here.

[abheirrant]

[Apparently, he's got more questions. He'll collect your answer sheet later, Kabal.]

You got to just be alive again when you got here? What makes you so deserving of that? Why you and not someone else?

[kaballin]

Probably cuz I saved the world.

Thats how I got roasted. No good deed goes unpunished.

[abheirrant]

Saved the world. You.

If you're going to lie and get me all worked up over nothing, the least you could do is have a point to it. I supposed that'd be too much to ask of you, wouldn't it?

[kaballin]

It was a moment of weakness. Sure didn't work out well for me. What with the dying and being raised as a Revenant and all that.

You know how much it sucks to not eat? I still haven't satisfied a 20 year craving for nachos.

[abheirrant]

[There's a delay in the frantic messages Carlisle has been sending, as his hands are shaking too badly to type. Yes, he knows 'how much it sucks' to be unable to eat... or drink, or sleep, or dream, or do anything that normal people get to do. He took such commodities for granted when he was alive; he had no idea he would be living -- in a sense -- without them.

He types again, frustrated and bitter that someone like Kabal, of all people—]

It's maddening.

[kaballin]

It really is.

When I first got here I couldn't remember how to sleep. Had to drink myself into a stupor.

From your sudden silence I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about.

[abheirrant]

[✔ Read.]