Net

Hi again - better news, kind of. At least more useful news.

[ she gives a quick little wave hello. ]

So first of all, quick update on the Reindire. I think I got them addicted to tequila by mistake? In my defence I didn't know that's not normal food for animals like this. I am trying to limit their habit of drinking it with water, but also a robot dedicated to make tequila sunrises just for them in case they get agitated, but dividing it with water or other liquids to ween them off.

Apart from that, they seem to really like Mercenary Day food. Which I've been told you guys call 'Christmas'. But Mercenary Day cake, eggnog, little brightly wrapped candies, something I'm informed is 'pine tree' leaves and 'holly'. That sort of thing. I'm not sure who to tell that to, so if someone could pass that along to the appropriate administration.

Secondly, I made a book, to help people that might be new to space travel. Since not everyone comes from a time and place where they are used to this. [ she lifts up the ring binder of pages, glossily laminated. ] There is no technical speak in here, it's just a no nonsense description of how to put in suits, what to do in the case of chemical fires, what to do if you find yourself in a zero gravity situation. It has pictures too just in case someone can't read or finds the terms hard to grasp. I am leaving a copy for anyone that wants it in the library. I'm more than happy to digitise it as well if anyone would prefer that.

Lastly, in case there is any confusion, I am the big white deer thing with stars and bones that hangs around with the other animals. Please don't try to have me for dinner at any point. I'll give you a warning bite.

[ Angel's feature's flicker onto the screen, black-eyed, black hair, those strange blue markings that adorn her body down her left side and right horn, that telltale hint of fur that appears across her shoulders, her neck, collar-like. Decidedly, completely, not human. ]

Hi. There has never been an easy way to have this conversation so I am just going to jump into it. I'm a monster. [ Her long ears flick, pricking to sound, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Her thick, black claws that come to flat ends tap against her cheek. ] It's a long, long story. But the sum of it is pretty straight forward, there was a God. She took people like this place takes people, she turned us into things. I became this. I wasn't always this, nor was I chosen for any grand reason. But now I am capable of smashing through concrete with one kick, I can lift ten or twelves my own weight, and I weight a lot, despite my size.

But that and the horns isn't why I call myself a monster. I'm a monster because I crave human flesh. I can and have eaten living people. I didn't get a choice about it. I can sate it when things are good. Raw meat of animals will do the trick. But, if I put it off any meat at all long enough, the hunger becomes ravenous, and I get taken over by this... this rage and hunger. I might - care for you, want happy things for you. But when I am like that? I'm not your friend. I'm not human. I'm not... not me. I can manage it, but this place just wiped my memories for a few days, so I can't make that assurance it will never happen.

So this is my permission. The day that happens, and you can't trap me or stop me, you can put a bullet in my head. I won't cling selfishly to a life where I am hurting someone to fuel myself. I'll only regret it when I come out of it. If it's me or someone else, I'll always pick for someone else to live over me hurting someone just because I am like... this.

[ She clears her throat, because what else is there to really say? So just... ]

... Do you think Tequila is bad for the Reindire? I keep feeding them mine.

[ #nailedit ]