@KaballsDeep | Audio CW: Murder, Suicide, Kabal

[kaballin]

Hey assholes.

This is Kabal and I've got a proposition for you.

So I dunno how many of you were here right from the beginning like me, stuck in this place for fucking ever. Anyway, you know no one has died? People disappeared but no one's died.

Makes you wonder what happens to people when they do.

So in the interest of science and my amusement, I've got a prize for the first person to kill someone. I mean I guess you can off yourself too, but if you don't come back then you're screwed out of the prize, but you do you.

I've got a better phone than the shit we were given. It has games, these things: 🍆💦, a Geiger counter, music player. A bunch of other stuff. And it's yours if you prove you did the deed so we can see if they stay dead or turn into a zombie or who knows what else.

Don't have to kill anyone specific, but if it's Qubit I'll throw in a personal shield generator.

Oh and the robot samurai, two story tall lego sculpture and the light up metal ninja don't count. Gotta be a person.

Comments

[kaballin]

Good. Ruins my street cred if you find out I know which one is the salad fork and which one is the dinner fork.

[abheirrant]

There are different forks?

[kaballin]

Now who's the uncultured one?

[abheirrant]

I have not yet ruled out that you are merely toying with me, as I have yet to think of a single reason there would be any need for multiple forks for a single dinner.

[kaballin]

There's one for each course to show off how rich and fancy you are that you have a dozen forks and spoons per person.

Don't worry, there's still time to get into the high society banquet of your dreams. I believe in you.

[abheirrant]

That sounds both wasteful and impractical. I will pass, thank you.