redshiftrp | Entries tagged with samurai jack: scaramouche

[The video opens up on the familiar scene of the little patio area by the pond, except this time all the furniture has been cleared out. Instead there's a bunch of chainlink fencing lashed together with baling wire, rope and who knows what else, to create something that roughly resembles a cube.

Sort of.]

So it's been pretty boring around here huh? Thought we could use some entertainment to tide us over before we're attacked by killer butterflies or zombie plants or someshit.

And apparently I gotta do all this shit myself. Figures.

[The camera pans from Kabal's masked face to two cages each containing a very angry service bot, one that's been splashed with red paint, and the other with blue.]

Gonna make these two fight to the death. Taking bets now, minus one-thirty on red, positive one-ten on blue.

Just doing my part to make Anchor a better place.

saunteredvaguelydownwards

Do you know that plants respond to being threatened?

[Apropos of nothing, Crowley is here to give everyone horticulture advice.]

Honestly. Go and look at the apple trees and see if you can tell which one I've been talking to. I'll give you a tip - it's not daring to let the other ones outshine it. That's science right there.

abheirrant

How many living individuals remain here?

[This question brought to you by your local guy who has realized he might be in for some trouble if most of the population isn't technically alive.]

numerouno

[Grainy photographs are being uploaded to the network with an uncharacteristic lack of commentary. Some shots are slightly oversaturated, overlit by the steady beam of a flashlight.

The first lot depicts a few of the many glowing crystals, both big and small, that can be found inside the caverns that the sinkhole uncovered. The next set shows an oddity found in the deeper sections of the underground tunnels: boiling ponds of something or other. A little later, a third series appears: the cave walls have become unnaturally smooth.

Finally, one last upload rolls in: a curved, artificial wall has been captured from a number of angles. These shots come with a brief caption:]

look what i found

[Scaramouche knows the devastating potential of loud noises better than most; the vibrations of his voice alone could cause a newly exposed cave system like this to collapse, not to mention disturb all of the creatures living in it. He is not taking chances.]

numerouno

SINI, baby!

[An obnoxiously loud, sing-song voice is broadcast across Anchor. The lack of sincerity in its too-bright tone is palpable, made even clearer by the way in which the speaker delivers his next line:]

We need to talk.

[A cool, level monotone, but the smile behind the words doesn't falter.]

nothinglikefather

Ladies, Gents and Qubit:

If you happen to find neatly folded trousers tucked away in corners around the place, leave them alone.

It's important they stay where they are in case of emergencies.

If you take them and don't replace them I will know and you will regret it.

And if you do see a tall, naked, handsome man looking for said trousers: Do not touch.

kaballin

Hey assholes.

This is Kabal and I've got a proposition for you.

So I dunno how many of you were here right from the beginning like me, stuck in this place for fucking ever. Anyway, you know no one has died? People disappeared but no one's died.

Makes you wonder what happens to people when they do.

So in the interest of science and my amusement, I've got a prize for the first person to kill someone. I mean I guess you can off yourself too, but if you don't come back then you're screwed out of the prize, but you do you.

I've got a better phone than the shit we were given. It has games, these things: 🍆💦, a Geiger counter, music player. A bunch of other stuff. And it's yours if you prove you did the deed so we can see if they stay dead or turn into a zombie or who knows what else.

Don't have to kill anyone specific, but if it's Qubit I'll throw in a personal shield generator.

Oh and the robot samurai, two story tall lego sculpture and the light up metal ninja don't count. Gotta be a person.

vosseeker

[ Starscream sounds exhausted, although he's making an obvious effort to maintain his usual crisp tones. ]

Despite the volatile storm surges, I was finally able to get a decent pass over that city visible from Anchor's dome. At first it appeared to be a colony similar to this one, but it has been almost completely taken over and covered by sand. Subsequent passes reveal differences in structure and design, however... more advanced than Anchor.

[ He will include several images taken from the air high above the mystery city. Tall spires surround the concave colony filled in with sand, with only their tall tips standing like atolls in an ocean. The area surrounding the city is pockmarked by many round pits with dark holes at their bottoms. ]

But while scanning, I discerned multiple substance readings that don't match the rest of what I've observed on this planet.

[ This time, he uploads scientific analysis of various canon-specific materials - all of them have some radiation corruption in the telemetry, making a 100% identification impossible... but there's reasonable data points to strongly suggest the readings as viable. ]

Those pits in the pictures are nests, by the way. There are large toothy invertebrates living under the sand. Before anyone asks, yes, they're aggressive.

Do with this information what you want.

---

[ ACTION → For those who wander down to the Garage area will find Starscream sitting on a stack of crates and trying his best to patch up several fairly serious-looking injuries on his limbs and his wings (the latter he's having a harder time reaching on himself). He's definitely leaking blue glowing energon from at least a few places; the wounds are circular and, as mentioned in his post, the result of something with lots of teeth... and something apparently not put off by biting metal, either. ]

---

(( OOC: Check out the plotting post for more information on this event! ))

redshiftnpc

[ Creepy Joe is on the network. Not with his horrifying face up in the camera this time--he doesn’t appear to be looking at the camera at all. Cameras, to be more exact. The view of him keeps changing, but it’s clear enough what he’s doing.

He’s in the agriculture section, sitting on the ground with his legs crossed, surrounded by animals. They steer clear of the ruined half of his body, but are letting him pet them with his good hand. He’s currently rubbing the nose of a reindire, which nips non-aggressively at his fingers.

It’s hard to hear what he’s saying to them--mostly it’s just cooing noises. But he looks. Well. Happy.

It isn’t Joe’s voice that pipes up when the talking does start - the voice is familiar to anyone who went exploring in that crashed ship months and months ago, or who answered a network post about the disease a while back. There’s no cheerful laughing or bouncy chatter this time, though, but the voice that seems to come from nowhere and everywhere around where Joe is sitting is haughty, imperious, with just a hint of irritation. ]

Good evening, bitches. I hope everyone is doing just marvelously this fine evening.

[ A loud, annoyed huffing, and the voice sounds again. ]

Just thought I’d pop in and let you all know that I’m getting tired of all the ungratefulness around here. My friend and I have both tried to help you, we’ve done our best to keep y’all safe and what do we get for it? Sass. Ignorance. Clandestine plots to imprison Joseph by force. And the compromise is what? Tricking him into it?

[ A pause, and now there’s a laugh, but it isn’t bubbly or happy or entirely pleasant at all. ]

Joseph doesn’t need quarantine. You people are so transparent. We’ve suffered enough and all of you should know better than to hurt us more!

[ Her voice gets rough and loud at this, with a grating, growling undertone, obviously angry. ]

You saw it. I know you saw it. That room. The room where we were reborn. You’re all lucky it’s me and Joseph here and not the other.

[ Joe looks up, worry deepening the crows feet that frame his eye. ]

Pain-sister, they don’t know. They don’t know anything.

[ He watches the reindire nuzzling into his palm, muttering more to himself now. ] But they should have listened. They should have.

[ A snort this time, from her, but her voice has a ring of fondness to it when she speaks again. ]

Joseph is far too kind. So am I. You all feel like you’re the ones in charge. You’re not the ones in charge. I know how much you all just love having your privacy, so guess what? I’m taking it away for a while. Hope you haven’t said anything too personal lately.

[ For just a second, it goes quiet, and then the cameras flick off. After another few seconds of darkness, the voice comes through again, this time a bit softer and a bit sweeter. ]

Except the nice ones. The nice ones don’t deserve it either.

[ Yes, Joe can be found in the agricultural section hanging out with the animals. ]

vosseeker

[ You'd be forgiven for thinking that this world had sent Starscream away, considering he hasn't been present in Anchor for a good while. Not down in the public park, not in the vehicle bays, not even poking around engineering. No word of a departure, no expected return.

And yet here he is! Spending an obscenely long time in the garage decontamination showers, until the systems check finally says he's free of dangerous radiation levels. Sadly, it seems Anchor is not yet free of him. ]

In all your little scurrying about and exploring this place, tell me someone has come across excavation equipment. Specifically rock drills and cutters. For that matter, are there any hauling carts? Mag-grav would be best, I'm not carrying this all back by hand. I'm not a mining drone.

Further, I require the following items:

[ He lists off about a dozen parts, which individually aren't that special, but combined sound an awful lot like he's building a distillation tank. ]

Finally, I have high fidelity scans of planetary areas outside the colony. In exchange for assistance with extracting my located resources, I will share them with the rest of you.

redwinekindofgirl

Sooooo everyone noticed the fucking strip mall starting up outside, yeah?

[Julie is standing near one of the outside windows. The 'HOT' part of the 'HOT TOPIC' sign is visible over her left shoulder. Her right shoulder is occupied by a small, cat-like creature that's staring into the camera while Julie speaks.

She jerks her thumb over her shoulder, both eyebrows raised.]

Are we not talking about the strip mall? Is it like the first rule?

[There's a pause, then she tosses her head slightly and grins.]

I'm going to Hot Topic, in like... ten minutes, if anyone else wants to come.

circumspector

Hi again - better news, kind of. At least more useful news.

[ she gives a quick little wave hello. ]

So first of all, quick update on the Reindire. I think I got them addicted to tequila by mistake? In my defence I didn't know that's not normal food for animals like this. I am trying to limit their habit of drinking it with water, but also a robot dedicated to make tequila sunrises just for them in case they get agitated, but dividing it with water or other liquids to ween them off.

Apart from that, they seem to really like Mercenary Day food. Which I've been told you guys call 'Christmas'. But Mercenary Day cake, eggnog, little brightly wrapped candies, something I'm informed is 'pine tree' leaves and 'holly'. That sort of thing. I'm not sure who to tell that to, so if someone could pass that along to the appropriate administration.

Secondly, I made a book, to help people that might be new to space travel. Since not everyone comes from a time and place where they are used to this. [ she lifts up the ring binder of pages, glossily laminated. ] There is no technical speak in here, it's just a no nonsense description of how to put in suits, what to do in the case of chemical fires, what to do if you find yourself in a zero gravity situation. It has pictures too just in case someone can't read or finds the terms hard to grasp. I am leaving a copy for anyone that wants it in the library. I'm more than happy to digitise it as well if anyone would prefer that.

Lastly, in case there is any confusion, I am the big white deer thing with stars and bones that hangs around with the other animals. Please don't try to have me for dinner at any point. I'll give you a warning bite.

floozie

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years of experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.

In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

hyperthermic

Did you people get rid of all the bodies, or was all that bullet damage and laser scoring just a little bit of harmless fun?

And who's the guy with the angry seaweed for a face?

Place seems too interesting for its own good.

redshiftnpc

[ The communicator bobs, turns, points at the floor. There’s muttering from a voice some of Anchor’s residents will recognize. When the camera rights itself, it’s a close-up of Creepy Joe’s face, the eye that was formerly sealed shut now open and writhing with tiny flower-like tentacles. His other is steady, crazed blue.

His mouth is still twisted, his lips still curving upward on the ruined side of his face, not quite hiding teeth too long and sharp for a human mouth. There’s movement behind and between his teeth, though it’s hard to see what it is until he opens his mouth--more tentacles, tiny flailing things growing from the insides of his cheeks, the roof of his mouth, his tongue. They make him lisp hoarsely as he talks.]

Don’t go down. Don’t do it. You’ll open the way to worse things, worse things, worse.

[ He glances behind him, and in spite of the close angle, some at Anchor might also recognize where he is. In his little hole in the wall, where he was recording the actions of Anchor’s new residents. ]

Trust me. I came back, didn’t I? I came back to help.

redshiftnpc

[The entry opens with a soft, sweet, high-pitched voice that will be familiar to those who'd explored the ruins of the spaceship in the wastelands, or anyone who'd heard her suggestions during the item swap or over the past week or so while people have been coming down more sick. She's humming a bouncy little song, at first almost absently, and then with a bit more spirit and energy. After a few moments of humming, the voice trails off into a soft 'mmmm' before she goes quiet.]

Good morning cats and kittens. Have you all been resting up? I hope so.

[Another few little hums, and a laugh, but when her voice comes back, it's sombre, with a harsher edge to it.]

I sure hope you have. You're all gonna neeeeed it.

[Another little laugh, more breathy this time.]

You have a big problem, and I'm here to help. But you have to help me first.

[When she finishes, her voice is much softer.]

I just want you all to live.

benhargreeves

[ The video opens on Ben's face. He is looking particularly grim, filming in one of the rooms in the residential section. No greetings or build-up, he just cuts right to the chase, holding up a tiny device between forefinger and thumb. Visible is a tiny lens, and what looks like a small antennae to transmit. ]

PSA. There are surveillance cameras hidden in the lighting fixtures of the bedrooms. I found a creepy tunnel leading to a creepy lair where some fucking creep has been spying on us. Still trying to figure out who is behind it and what they want, but the feeds only show occupied rooms and no empty ones so it's not a coincidence, unfortunately.

[ Ben turns the frame to face the spot where the small camera had obviously been ripped out of an overhead light. From offscreen he says, voice clipped and angry: ]

Anyway. Wanted you guys to know. Hit me up if you need help ripping the suckers out. I'll post again when I know more.

bardish

[ What's a middle aged suburbanite to do when everything's overwhelming all the time and he just needs to relax before he has an aneurysm? Easy: Get blazed, grab his guitar, and jam with the glitchy robot band in the dance club.

It's a mystery how this recording started. Maybe Jeff, in his stoner state of mind, accidentally hit record. Maybe one of the bots did. MAYBE IT WAS AN ACT OF SABOTAGE. In any case, Anchor, enjoy Jeff Calhoun and some slightly off-beat jukebots trying to do justice to an R.E.M classic. ]

--wire in a fire in a submarine something and the government for hire in a combat site! Letter whiskers coming in a hurry with the flurries beating DOWN YOUR NECK--

[ Look, it's hard enough to get through the lyrics without tripping into gibberish when sober. Cut Jeff some slack! At least he can sing the chorus. ]

...It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feeeeeel fiiiiiiine...

[ You better believe the robots are providing backup vocals via a series of beeps and whistles. It's like he's singing with R2-D2 here. So just imagine that: a ragtag R.E.M. cover band, complete with a robot wielding both a tambourine and an unwillingness to keep to the beat, chirping along with a frontman who can only get about 45% of the words right.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, including this song. And just as the last notes die out, that's when he realizes he just serenaded the entire network. ]

Ohhhhh... fuck. [ Jeff's just looking like a deer in headlights for a moment there. ] Uh.

[ Pause. Then he seems to relax, because maybe it's the weed-- no, it's definitely the weed. There's something way too chill about the way he smiles now. ]

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Net

Entries tagged with samurai jack: scaramouche

Video || @ KaballsDeep

video;

[text; un: longinmouth]

[text | @SCARAMOUCHE] backdated to the day of the earthquake

[audio | @SCARAMOUCHE] backdated to beginning of May

Text un: Rook

@KaballsDeep | Audio CW: Murder, Suicide, Kabal

02 ⚡ voice/data + action (un: @starscream);

Video. Username: SINI

01 ⚡ voice - un:starscream;

video;

video;

text, un: yourstruly.

text || @chronos

video; @unknown

voice. username: SINI

@lazarus | video

video; together, we're WYLD STALLYNS (un: j.calhoun) [warning: recreational drug use]

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