@Pratt

[theweakhavepurpose]

Since we're all asking for shit on the network... Has anyone seen any Doritos in any of the vending machines?

Specifically Cool Ranch but I'll take anything.

I don't have anything to trade unless you want to pet a wolf. Free wolf pets for Doritos. Sounds fair.

Comments

text; UN: drake

[nonscriptum]

[ Honestly, it's the question about the Doritos that actually identifies the man behind the query itself. Nate only notices the username after he's sent the text. ]

holy shit
pratt????

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah?


Wait...




Nate?

text -> voice

[nonscriptum]

yeah, it's me

[ Hold on, let him figure out this stupid thing- ]

What the Hell are you doing here?

Voice

[theweakhavepurpose]

[Oh he wasn't prepared for voice. His comm thingy starts talking and he nearly drops it so enjoy that loud static for a second.]

Getting fucked over by the Door I guess? This isn't where I'm supposed to be anyway.

But my Judge is here now so I dunno. Maybe it worked and I was back home and don't remember? I don't think I'm conscious there so that's possible I guess.

And explains why I'm fucking starving again.

[nonscriptum]

Yeah, well, it's not where I'm supposed to be, either.

[ Then again, it could be argued that Nate was never supposed to be in Libertalia in the first place after the kind of ultimatum that Rafe delivered to him over a hacked phone line.

For a long moment there is silence and he wishes - genuinely, truly wishes - Pratt could have gone on to something better. ]

...you wanna meet up? Maybe we can find some food.

@maverick text;

[deploy]

I saw some yellow paint chips that probably taste the same. Or better. I'm going to go with better.

Cool ranch is the worst Dorito flavour of all time.

Anyway. I'll tell you which wall they're on if you let me pet your wolf.

[theweakhavepurpose]

You fucking take that back. This is the hill I will die on.

[deploy]

If you want to die with cool ranch on your fingers, be my guest.

But I would rather rest in cheese. Nacho cheese. Like a man.

[theweakhavepurpose]

I'm secure in my love of ranch.

I bet you're the kind of person who drinks a diet coke with your junk food.

[deploy]

Excuse you. I'm not a goddamn heathen.

I drink my Coke as it's meant to be... drunk. Full sugar. Straight to the hips. Probably poisonous.

I bet you drink Mountain Dew. I bet you dip your disgusting ranchy fingers INTO the mountain dew and lick them off.

text; UN: Spides

[itsnotaonesie]

No Doritos, but I think I found some kinda space Pringles can I still meet your wolf

[There's a second message sent a few seconds later, after Peter stops to actually read the name of the person he's replying to.]

wait is this Pratt as in Deputy [first name redacted???????] Pratt?? Form Hadriel?

[theweakhavepurpose]

Space pringles are good. I'll accept space pringles.

Yes?

Before I go and legally change my first name to Deputy who's this? Also why did I never think to do that...

[itsnotaonesie]

It's Peter!!!



parker

Where are you right now? Are you okay? Where'd you even get a wolf??

[theweakhavepurpose]

Holy shit Peter! Poe told me you were here but the user name...

Okay I kinda shoulda guessed that. That one's on me.

I'd say Im glad to see you but you shouldn't be here. We shouldn't BE HERE.

And I think I went home for a bit, but I also don't think I'm conscious anymore with the whole "about to die" thing so when I got pulled here I've got my Judge.

Except I'm starving again.

So about those space pringles?

[itsnotaonesie]

it was gonna be "StickyBuddy" but not everybody's seen that commercial and I'd probably be the only one who gets it. Plus it looks questionable out of context so MOVING ON

tell me where you are so i can help you stop starving with space pringles

text | @lazarus

[benhargreeves]

Are wolves much much much much more domesticated in the world you come from, or are you like one of those mobsters that has a pet tiger because they think it's badass but then they end up getting mauled to death?

[theweakhavepurpose]

For starters I'm a Deputy not a mobster. And also no they're very much not domesticated.

It's a long story and you're probably not gonna believe me.

So to sum up: Doritos y/n?

You know you wanna pet a wolf. She's white and fluffy and just got a bath.

[benhargreeves]

Deputy of what?

That's assuming a lot. You don't know me. I'm capable of believing some wild shit.

Well... let's go with 'm' for maybe. What are your feelings on off-brand chips?

I actually super don't wanna pet a wolf, thanks. I like having two hands.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Hope County, Montana.

The Herald of Eden's Gate drugged them with a serum that made them obedient and smart. He used them to hunt down Sinners.

But I'm trying to retrain her on hunting down junk food. Results are mixed.

How generic we talking? Store brand or just "CHIPS"?

[benhargreeves]

I was expecting you to say Mars, no joke.

Sounds like a hectic week. I'm guessing from the capitalization that Sinners means something different than a sinner. Unless someone was trying to genetically alter wolves to attack cheating spouses or whatever.

Knock-off, not store brand. Found some in an old break room. Jalapeño though, not ranch.

text: un: Poison

[writtendestiny]

What are Doritos?

Re: text: un: Poison

[theweakhavepurpose]

You are breaking my heart right now.

They're chips. Junk food.

Please don't make me explain chips I've had a hard few years and I don't think my brain is ready to process that.

[writtendestiny]

I know chips.

We don't have them where I come from, though.

[theweakhavepurpose]

What do you eat when you're done with the world and everyone in it then?

[writtendestiny]

I don't eat to hide from my problems.