redshiftrp | @Pratt

it was gonna be "StickyBuddy" but not everybody's seen that commercial and I'd probably be the only one who gets it. Plus it looks questionable out of context so MOVING ON

tell me where you are so i can help you stop starving with space pringles

Good cuz even I don't get the reference? But I can think of a lot of jokes with that.

And this is me so thats saying something.

I'm sitting on a bench by the dead trees. This is what every mall is going to look like in ten years isn't it?

yeah let's not think too hard about that one

Totally sounds like a zombie apocalypses mall. Is that down in that big park looking area?

Yeah. I guess this is supposed to be a park anyway.

I wonder if there's an abandoned Orange Julius somewhere.

[And Pratt will be chillin' on a bench waiting. He's in his deputy outfit because he burned all his horrible Hawaiian shirts from Hadriel before leaving and he has no regrets. By his feet is a big white wolf missing a tail. She's had a bath and is nice and fluffy now, though her fur is patchy in places. She's also tinged slightly greyish pink from all the blood and grime on her. It'll grow out eventually.]

tell me if you see a space starbucks

[Peter sends that message, and then like ten seconds later just drops the fuck out of the air and lands near Pratt and his fabulous wolf. Why yes, he did web sling his ass down here are you surprised]

Hey!

Did you seriously jump off one of the balconies to get down here?

[The superhero jump is still a little weird. Especially for chips and in some sort of abandoned mall looking thing.]

Man, it's.. good to see you. I mean it's not, because.. of this. But yeah.

[Goodness these two are the best at communicating.]

What? It was the fastest way down.

[SHRUG like this isn't even weird or anything, come on. He proceeds to dig that container of space pringles out of his bag and staps a little closer, but not like too close if only because he has no idea how this wolf will react to a dude just dropping in out of nowhere yet.]

I know what you mean, man. Like, I feel that. I've just been trying to think positive about it, I guess.

[CT-107 sniffs at his shoe, but otherwise doesn't do much from where she's laying on the ground. She's had a bath and is very grumpy and uninterested in whoever this is.]

It could always be worse? That sounds like my kind of positive. I'm a bad influence on you.

[Aw yiss space pringles. He pops them open.]

Well they look like chips. Smell like chips too. If I die from eating these, at least I got space pringles.

[As long as she's not biting Peter's face, he is cool with this wolf.]

Mmmmmn, more like I wanna think that we're here for a reason? Like, maybe the universe just isn't done with us yet. Maybe there's something here we need to fix?

[Maybe Peter's just looking for a purpose because his life is a goddamn nightmare disaster what even the fuck is happening anymore.]

I ate a couple earlier and didn't die, so you're probably safe.

The weak have their purpose?

[He shakes out a chip from the tube, munching it happily. He loves chips, this is great.]

I dunno. Was the purpose of the other place to be fodder for some so-called gods? Cuz I don't really wanna repeat that here.

[You're always saying this weird shit, Deputy. Peter's brows knit together in that "should I be concerned about this" sort of way.]

Considering they needed us to win their war for them, I'm gonna say that we weren't the weak ones in that scenario. But yeah, I... I feel you on that one. Kinda tired of being used, to be honest.

[....Potentially.]

Now that we're not there for them to feed off of... what do you think happened to them?

It's still too early to tell here, maybe whoever's in charge hasn't shown themselves cuz they think we'll be more compliant if we think we're on our own. The illusion of free will.

I know some people stayed behind. Like Nick, that robot guy? And then there were the God's old Hosts, they're still around. I don't know if the Gods're still gonna have to feed off anyone, but... I mean, I guess they still have options. The only thing I'm sure of is that they're not gonna get murdered by robots any time soon.

[Since they kind of murdered the Null first. Buuut these are things Peter's not super thrilled to think about, so he's gonna roll with the other disturbing topic.]

If that does happen, I'm not planning on giving anyone a chance to screw with us. Not this time.

He did? I wonder why. Maybe his world was terrible. Though I get not wanting to go home if you're dead.

[Or about to die like he is.]

But anywhere is better than there. If even one of the Null survived they can probably clone themselves. Come back and restart the war.

But I guess we'll never know. Since we kinda seem stuck here. And if you're suggesting some kind of pre-emptive strike? I'm in. If you find anything, lemme know.

[He will lend his shovel to this noble purpose.]

No point going home to a world where you don't exist anymore. Didn't know he was dead, though. That's... that's real unfortunate.

{Peter gets it too!!! He's living it right now, in fact! Not that he'd made it public knowledge, but y'know.]

I guess I am suggesting a preemptive strike. I hope it doesn't have to come to something like that, though.

I don't know if he is, he was kinda cagey about his world. Just saying I get it if people don't wanna go back to their deaths.

I sure as fuck didn't.

We'd have to figure out what to strike exactly. I've been wandering around and I don't see any people that aren't you know.. us. There's some freaky animals on the top floor though.

Oh. Well. I mean, yeah.

[Peter doesn't want to go back to his either, not a good time.]

Yeah, there's not really anything to like, strike against? The robots sure as hell aren't in charge. Animals are good, though. Free food.

They're not right. I don't think you wanna eat them. They look diseased. Too many legs, too many eyes. Maybe they got irradiated? I don't know how good the dome is.

Isn't that what happens in space movies? People get irradiated and turn into weird mutants?

[Pratt's entire frame of reference is movies.]

[That's okay, so is Peter's. That's why they get along so well.]

Yeah... yeah, good point. I don't think people would start to mutate or anything crazy like that, but it could definitely make people sick. What about... okay, you remember that video that played in the arrival room? The guys that were here before us were growing their own cattle and stuff. I think we're going to have to uh, clear the animals that are already up there out and start over?

[He does not like the idea of murdering a bunch of innocent mutated freak animals but we gotta feed this colony my dude]

Well we'd need something to start over with. Maybe keep the healthiest ones and see if we can breed them back into something less fucked up. Cull the herd.

[He actually smirks because he hasn't said that sentence the way it was intended like this in years.]

I wonder how long ago that video is from, this place looks messed up but not thousands of years messed up or anything.

Maybe, yeah. This kinda thing is nowhere near my area of expertise, so whatever you think is best? Like, yes, let's do that.

[There might be junk in the labs that Peter can help out with, but farming and animals were someone else's job. Because city boy.]

I would argue that it very well could have been thousands of years, just looking at how screwed up the animals are? But the rest of the place isn't that bad. I haven't been able to pull anything useful from the computers by way of dates? So uh. Still trying to solve that puzzle.

Finally being from Montana is good for something.

[Look at him using his skills appropriately.]

Wouldn't it be all decayed? You know, more than it is. And our phone things are connecting and there's power. But I don't know how any of that works. I had fucking satellite internet back home. It was awful.

[You know how long RedTube takes to load up on satellite internet? Forever]

Dude, your Montana skills are way more useful here than my New York skills.

[Just sayin'. Weaving between tourists who are blocking the sidewalks isn't a very useful skill to have here.]

Man ever since I got stuck in Hadriel, I just don't assume that I know how or why anything works anymore. Satellite internet though, that's brutal.

[Okay but what if they get space tourists who are on a space cruise who start taking pictures of everything in Anchor?]

It took me about three days to download the latest Call of Duty: Black Ops. I just watched it go up 1% every 20 minutes.

[No one has suffered as he, an Xbox gamer, has suffered.]

I still don't understand how electricity worked in Hadriel. There weren't even any wires.

[If that happens we're stealing their space cruise ship and LEAVING.]

On one hand that sucks, so bad. On the other, it was probably just like the previous like thirty Call of Duty games, so you probably weren't missing out too much.

[To be honest though he hasn't played a video game in like A YEAR he would totally play the shit out of a CoD right now.]

Magic. Just. Hadriel ran on magic and bullshit.

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text -> action oh shit

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