@Pratt

[theweakhavepurpose]

Since we're all asking for shit on the network... Has anyone seen any Doritos in any of the vending machines?

Specifically Cool Ranch but I'll take anything.

I don't have anything to trade unless you want to pet a wolf. Free wolf pets for Doritos. Sounds fair.

Comments

text; UN: drake

[nonscriptum]

[ Honestly, it's the question about the Doritos that actually identifies the man behind the query itself. Nate only notices the username after he's sent the text. ]

holy shit
pratt????

@maverick text;

[deploy]

I saw some yellow paint chips that probably taste the same. Or better. I'm going to go with better.

Cool ranch is the worst Dorito flavour of all time.

Anyway. I'll tell you which wall they're on if you let me pet your wolf.

[theweakhavepurpose]

You fucking take that back. This is the hill I will die on.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah?


Wait...




Nate?

text -> voice

[nonscriptum]

yeah, it's me

[ Hold on, let him figure out this stupid thing- ]

What the Hell are you doing here?

text; UN: Spides

[itsnotaonesie]

No Doritos, but I think I found some kinda space Pringles can I still meet your wolf

[There's a second message sent a few seconds later, after Peter stops to actually read the name of the person he's replying to.]

wait is this Pratt as in Deputy [first name redacted???????] Pratt?? Form Hadriel?

Voice

[theweakhavepurpose]

[Oh he wasn't prepared for voice. His comm thingy starts talking and he nearly drops it so enjoy that loud static for a second.]

Getting fucked over by the Door I guess? This isn't where I'm supposed to be anyway.

But my Judge is here now so I dunno. Maybe it worked and I was back home and don't remember? I don't think I'm conscious there so that's possible I guess.

And explains why I'm fucking starving again.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Space pringles are good. I'll accept space pringles.

Yes?

Before I go and legally change my first name to Deputy who's this? Also why did I never think to do that...

[itsnotaonesie]

It's Peter!!!



parker

Where are you right now? Are you okay? Where'd you even get a wolf??

[theweakhavepurpose]

Holy shit Peter! Poe told me you were here but the user name...

Okay I kinda shoulda guessed that. That one's on me.

I'd say Im glad to see you but you shouldn't be here. We shouldn't BE HERE.

And I think I went home for a bit, but I also don't think I'm conscious anymore with the whole "about to die" thing so when I got pulled here I've got my Judge.

Except I'm starving again.

So about those space pringles?

text | @lazarus

[benhargreeves]

Are wolves much much much much more domesticated in the world you come from, or are you like one of those mobsters that has a pet tiger because they think it's badass but then they end up getting mauled to death?

[theweakhavepurpose]

For starters I'm a Deputy not a mobster. And also no they're very much not domesticated.

It's a long story and you're probably not gonna believe me.

So to sum up: Doritos y/n?

You know you wanna pet a wolf. She's white and fluffy and just got a bath.

[itsnotaonesie]

it was gonna be "StickyBuddy" but not everybody's seen that commercial and I'd probably be the only one who gets it. Plus it looks questionable out of context so MOVING ON

tell me where you are so i can help you stop starving with space pringles

[deploy]

If you want to die with cool ranch on your fingers, be my guest.

But I would rather rest in cheese. Nacho cheese. Like a man.

text: un: Poison

[writtendestiny]

What are Doritos?

[benhargreeves]

Deputy of what?

That's assuming a lot. You don't know me. I'm capable of believing some wild shit.

Well... let's go with 'm' for maybe. What are your feelings on off-brand chips?

I actually super don't wanna pet a wolf, thanks. I like having two hands.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Hope County, Montana.

The Herald of Eden's Gate drugged them with a serum that made them obedient and smart. He used them to hunt down Sinners.

But I'm trying to retrain her on hunting down junk food. Results are mixed.

How generic we talking? Store brand or just "CHIPS"?

Re: text: un: Poison

[theweakhavepurpose]

You are breaking my heart right now.

They're chips. Junk food.

Please don't make me explain chips I've had a hard few years and I don't think my brain is ready to process that.

[writtendestiny]

I know chips.

We don't have them where I come from, though.

[theweakhavepurpose]

I'm secure in my love of ranch.

I bet you're the kind of person who drinks a diet coke with your junk food.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Good cuz even I don't get the reference? But I can think of a lot of jokes with that.

And this is me so thats saying something.

I'm sitting on a bench by the dead trees. This is what every mall is going to look like in ten years isn't it?

[deploy]

Excuse you. I'm not a goddamn heathen.

I drink my Coke as it's meant to be... drunk. Full sugar. Straight to the hips. Probably poisonous.

I bet you drink Mountain Dew. I bet you dip your disgusting ranchy fingers INTO the mountain dew and lick them off.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Why the fuck would I dip my fingers into my Mountain Dew? Who the hell does that?

I wipe them off on my pants like a normal fucking person.

[theweakhavepurpose]

What do you eat when you're done with the world and everyone in it then?

[deploy]

Wow. That's hot. Seriously.

Mr. Cool Ranch with the Orange Streaks.

Definitely the guy I want on my squad. You're obviously all about efficiency.