video;

[circumspector]

Hi again - better news, kind of. At least more useful news.

[ she gives a quick little wave hello. ]

So first of all, quick update on the Reindire. I think I got them addicted to tequila by mistake? In my defence I didn't know that's not normal food for animals like this. I am trying to limit their habit of drinking it with water, but also a robot dedicated to make tequila sunrises just for them in case they get agitated, but dividing it with water or other liquids to ween them off.

Apart from that, they seem to really like Mercenary Day food. Which I've been told you guys call 'Christmas'. But Mercenary Day cake, eggnog, little brightly wrapped candies, something I'm informed is 'pine tree' leaves and 'holly'. That sort of thing. I'm not sure who to tell that to, so if someone could pass that along to the appropriate administration.

Secondly, I made a book, to help people that might be new to space travel. Since not everyone comes from a time and place where they are used to this. [ she lifts up the ring binder of pages, glossily laminated. ] There is no technical speak in here, it's just a no nonsense description of how to put in suits, what to do in the case of chemical fires, what to do if you find yourself in a zero gravity situation. It has pictures too just in case someone can't read or finds the terms hard to grasp. I am leaving a copy for anyone that wants it in the library. I'm more than happy to digitise it as well if anyone would prefer that.

Lastly, in case there is any confusion, I am the big white deer thing with stars and bones that hangs around with the other animals. Please don't try to have me for dinner at any point. I'll give you a warning bite.

Comments

video

[nockturnal]

Has anyone attempted to harm you, in your other form?

[ It wasn't his first instinct, but he supposes if someone was desperate enough, they might try. ]

video

[circumspector]

Once or twice. Aliens sometimes get a bit weird. That and there might be vault hunters, they'll hunt anything.

video

[nockturnal]

What is a 'vault hunter'?

video

[circumspector]

Treasure hunters, but with a higher body count, I guess. Best of the best, they make a career out of not dying when everything wants them
to just die. They'll do just about anything for money, too.

I once saw some of them light themselves on fire and slam dunk a basketball for a hundred bucks.

video

[nockturnal]

Ah.

They are idiots.

video

[circumspector]

No, some of them are the smartest people I've ever met. Maya is terrifying, and not just because she can melt your brain through a third dimension.

But mercenary work pays better than being smart, unfortunately.

video

[nockturnal]

One can accomplish both.

I have served as a mercenary when necessary. At no point would I have chosen to set myself on fire.

Video

[circumspector]

Really? Not even once? Do you come from one of those places where fire is very fatal?

Video

[nockturnal]

Yes. It tends to burn things.

@KaballsDeep | Audio

[kaballin]

Good. Make the one that's following me go away before I turn it into jerky.

UN: 4N631

[circumspector]

Are you sure? I can try. And they are very good friends, once you get over the murderous claws and the rest.

[kaballin]

The hell do I need a pet deer for? All it does is eat. Can't even get it to attack shit.

[circumspector]

Well, they protect me very well, have you tried cuddling it a lot? I found that to be the most effective way to integrate yourself with it.

[kaballin]

There's so many things wrong with that.

I'm not going to cuddle a deer. I don't need protection. And all it does is steal my food. How are you even cuddling deer? All their ends are sharp.

[circumspector]

[ Angel clears her throat and points at the huge set of antlers on her head. ]

Are you sure you want me to answer how I of all people cuddle a deer?

[kaballin]

Yeah because I'm wondering how you keep from getting stuck together.

[circumspector]

Well that's easy, I'm bigger than them. So it's easy to keep my head above them.

[ Angel you're 5'3 total, even on camera. ]

[audio | @SCARAMOUCHE]

[numerouno]

You know, saying 'don't have me for dinner' is like showing them to a table.

[audio | @SCARAMOUCHE]

[circumspector]

They're in for a nasty surprise, considering I come from a planet of cannibal bandits, I know how to be much meaner if anyone tries it.

[numerouno]

So your bite is worse than your bark?

[circumspector]

Much worse. In fact, it used to be my job to make sure no one knew what was coming. So my bark was kind of unassuming to begin with.

[ She's not proud of it, but she has done awful things and she knows it. ]

[numerouno]

Call me before the show starts.

[circumspector]

Just don't be like my last audience, they threw up.

[numerouno]

That won't happen any time soon - I don't have the parts for it, babe.

[circumspector]

[ There is only one reason in Angel's experience that someone doesn't have the parts for it.

And her eyes go big and wide for a second in sheer excitement. ]

Are you a robot?