redshiftrp | Entries tagged with original: cameron waltz

[Another PSA from a certain Mr. Waltz, who still keeps a crisply pressed suit to this day. He has his ways.]

Upon discussion with other Anchorites, it was noted we don't have much sense of community. Or any sense of community. A lot of us don't know our neighbours very well, whether it's due to lack of time, energy, or interest. Myself included.

With everyone coming from different times and places, with vastly different experiences, it isn't always easy to personally connect. Upon first glance we are all so much more different than we are the same, but in my line of work I've learned there are a few fundamental similarities no matter who you are, or where you go. From Africa to Anchor. Most everyone likes to eat, or at the very least, likes to have a good time.

Nothing is on fire at the moment, and we have quite a few recently discovered resources to utilize and enjoy.

This is the perfect opportunity for a party. It doesn't have to be fancy. A potluck would be an excellent way to share ourselves, and our cultures, with one another.

We can all step away from our business and anxiety for one night to put faces to names, and live a little instead of just surviving.

bardish

[ What's a middle aged suburbanite to do when everything's overwhelming all the time and he just needs to relax before he has an aneurysm? Easy: Get blazed, grab his guitar, and jam with the glitchy robot band in the dance club.

It's a mystery how this recording started. Maybe Jeff, in his stoner state of mind, accidentally hit record. Maybe one of the bots did. MAYBE IT WAS AN ACT OF SABOTAGE. In any case, Anchor, enjoy Jeff Calhoun and some slightly off-beat jukebots trying to do justice to an R.E.M classic. ]

--wire in a fire in a submarine something and the government for hire in a combat site! Letter whiskers coming in a hurry with the flurries beating DOWN YOUR NECK--

[ Look, it's hard enough to get through the lyrics without tripping into gibberish when sober. Cut Jeff some slack! At least he can sing the chorus. ]

...It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feeeeeel fiiiiiiine...

[ You better believe the robots are providing backup vocals via a series of beeps and whistles. It's like he's singing with R2-D2 here. So just imagine that: a ragtag R.E.M. cover band, complete with a robot wielding both a tambourine and an unwillingness to keep to the beat, chirping along with a frontman who can only get about 45% of the words right.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, including this song. And just as the last notes die out, that's when he realizes he just serenaded the entire network. ]

Ohhhhh... fuck. [ Jeff's just looking like a deer in headlights for a moment there. ] Uh.

[ Pause. Then he seems to relax, because maybe it's the weed-- no, it's definitely the weed. There's something way too chill about the way he smiles now. ]

Got any requests?

superposition

[ Though Qubit generally prefers text, he's found that for whatever reason, people seem to think he's more sincere when he uses video. So he goes with that - you only get one first impression. ]

Good morning, Anchor. You may have noticed a grocery store, of all things, has appeared just outside the main airlock... Ah. I'm Qubit, by the way, should have led with that. Anyways, I've taken the liberty of scouting the place out, and I have good news and bad news.

Good news - near as I can tell, the food's still fresh. Bad news - that's more than I can say for the customers. If you do go, don't go alone, and be ready to defend yourself. It turns out the place has a bit of an undead problem.

[ He shrugs, as if to say "because of course it does." ]

On the plus side, the radiation levels are rather lower than I expected. I'd still recommend suiting up if you can, but you should be all right provided you don't - aah!!

[ As he was talking, something whirred in the background, and now a laser bolt hits the wall not a foot from his head. Startled, he drops the comm, but his voice can be heard receding in the background. ]

Son of a bi- [ the feed ends. ]

enveloped

[Unlike some people whose biggest concerns are their inappropriate footwear, Cam is all business.

Speaking to you live from a crumbling room within the colony is a tall, bearded man wearing a suit. Or half of one. He has his sleeves rolled up, Prada jacket slung over an overturned desk. His face isn't unfriendly, but there are well-worn lines speaking to a serious nature.

This man does not wear flip-flops.]

Hello, my name is Cameron Waltz. Like you I am a recent arrival, and have more questions than answers regarding this place, and why we're here. Back home I was a humanitarian interpreter and cultural mediator specializing in foreign aid and disaster relief. Experience I hope will be useful, considering the conditions, as it appears we've found ourselves in something of a disaster.

In my brief exploration of the colony, it appears many of the necessary facilities are damaged and in disarray. Those few blocks that aren't already compromised will be well on their way if the problems regarding utilities and structural decay aren't addressed.

Especially since we appear to be activating potentially hazardous technology left and right. All it takes is one spark to set an electrical fire, or worse.

If we're going to survive here, it's important we work together to increase our chances. There are far too many repairs to complete alone. We need to survive before we can return home.

I don't know how many of you are out there, but if you can read this I would appreciate a response. A rough headcount would be helpful in terms of rationing supplies. People with engineering skills and knowledge relevant to repairing or securing the colony, please name yourself and what you can do.

A directory of skills could be incredibly helpful in terms of creating working teams to get things done.

To everyone who may be out there, you are not alone. If you are hurt, or simply don't know what to do, I and many others will be here to help.

[A man can hope.]

bardish

[ Here's a face peering into the communication device, all up close and personal, before he blinks and pulls his face back. When he speaks, it's in a hushed, panicky whisper: an anxious soliloquy. ] ...is this rolling? [ Blink. ] Shit! It's so rolling! What was I gonna say? I had a whole thing prepared and-- Ahh... Oh god...

[ Do something, Jeff. You can't just stand there like a deer staring at an oncoming 18-wheeler. ]

Uh. Hi...? [ A nervous wave. ] Hello! Greetings? I'm, uh-- I'm not really sure if this is the right place to ask, because I don't know if anyone's alive or dead-- [ Aside: ] Is that guy from the video still around, or is he...?

[ He makes a face, wrinkling his nose at the unpleasantness. Jeff may be looking a little green around the gills here. ]

Anyway...

My name's Jeff and I totally come in peace! Is there anyone out there? Anyone who, like, wears shoes in a men's size 10, who might have an extra pair lying around, because I could really use something other than sandals right now. I mean, they're good shoes, super comfortable, but I'm pretty sure flip-flops aren't appropriate footwear for this kind of place, like, it just seems wrong to walk around here with my toes out-- what if I catch some kind of crazy new strain of tetanus!

[ AWKWARD BEAT. He smiles, grins, way too toothy, like a man on the verge of a panic attack, but he's really trying here. ]

I'm really not picky! As long as they cover my feet! You know, because once I've got the right shoes, then it's all gonna be fine. It's fine. Everything fine! [ Keep telling yourself that, Jeff. ] So... Men's size 10! [ He even holds up 10 fingers, to illustrate. Then he closes his fists into two enthusiastic thumbs up. ] That's all! Thanks!

Net

Entries tagged with original: cameron waltz

#2 video; @Waltz

video; together, we're WYLD STALLYNS (un: j.calhoun) [warning: recreational drug use]

video; @Qubit

Video #1 UN: Waltz

video; birkenstocks in space (un: j.calhoun)

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