@KaballsDeep | Audio CW: Murder, Suicide, Kabal

[kaballin]

Hey assholes.

This is Kabal and I've got a proposition for you.

So I dunno how many of you were here right from the beginning like me, stuck in this place for fucking ever. Anyway, you know no one has died? People disappeared but no one's died.

Makes you wonder what happens to people when they do.

So in the interest of science and my amusement, I've got a prize for the first person to kill someone. I mean I guess you can off yourself too, but if you don't come back then you're screwed out of the prize, but you do you.

I've got a better phone than the shit we were given. It has games, these things: 🍆💦, a Geiger counter, music player. A bunch of other stuff. And it's yours if you prove you did the deed so we can see if they stay dead or turn into a zombie or who knows what else.

Don't have to kill anyone specific, but if it's Qubit I'll throw in a personal shield generator.

Oh and the robot samurai, two story tall lego sculpture and the light up metal ninja don't count. Gotta be a person.

Comments

[audio | @SCARAMOUCHE]

[numerouno]

Hey, don't sweat it, kiddo. If they have any sense, they'll murder him first.

[Also: Scaramouche the Merciless, a samurai? Of course, he could be talking about somebody else.]

Re: [audio | @SCARAMOUCHE]

[kaballin]

I knew you liked me.

[itsnotaonesie]

Oh my God. What part of 'let's not murder each other' is so hard for you people to grasp?

[numerouno]

I'm not killing anyone, babe.

[itsnotaonesie]

That was more a general you than a you you. As far as I know you haven't stabbed anybody, or threatened to stab any body, or gotten bored and daydreamed about getting people to stab each other.

[numerouno]

[Not on this planet, anyway. He wouldn't kill anyone here who didn't try to kill him first. That's his word on it right now.]

We'll patrol together--how does that sound? I'll divide my route in two; you take one half while I take the other.

[It's all he's done since he got here, besides swinging by the bar now and then (and lately, making music with his honeydew... ♪). Having another set of eyes would help.]

[itsnotaonesie]

Yeah, sounds good. I appreciate the help, man. Thanks.

[if life keeps being ridiculous Peter may just find himself visiting the bar more often himself.]

[numerouno]

[Scaramouche isn't suddenly hitting the halls of Anchor to curtail an outbreak in violence. He'll be patrolling for the same reason he always has: so he can be the first to know if anything about their situation changes. He has a better chance of catching something if he's got Pedro to cover ground too.]

Call me if anything sticks out, okay babe?

[itsnotaonesie]

[Whatever Scaramouche's reasoning behind it is, Peter's just happy to have other people on patrol with him.]

Same to you, man. I'll keep in touch.