@KaballsDeep | Audio CW: Murder, Suicide, Kabal

[kaballin]

Hey assholes.

This is Kabal and I've got a proposition for you.

So I dunno how many of you were here right from the beginning like me, stuck in this place for fucking ever. Anyway, you know no one has died? People disappeared but no one's died.

Makes you wonder what happens to people when they do.

So in the interest of science and my amusement, I've got a prize for the first person to kill someone. I mean I guess you can off yourself too, but if you don't come back then you're screwed out of the prize, but you do you.

I've got a better phone than the shit we were given. It has games, these things: 🍆💦, a Geiger counter, music player. A bunch of other stuff. And it's yours if you prove you did the deed so we can see if they stay dead or turn into a zombie or who knows what else.

Don't have to kill anyone specific, but if it's Qubit I'll throw in a personal shield generator.

Oh and the robot samurai, two story tall lego sculpture and the light up metal ninja don't count. Gotta be a person.

Comments

[mustact]

Not every person will wish to kill someone. I will stop those who do.

[ Not even a try. He just will. Somehow. ]

[kaballin]

If you stop them by killing them you're still eligible for this phone. Just so you know.

[mustact]

[ Are you dumb or just a piece of shit. ]

That would not be my preferred choice of action. And I do not want the phone.

[kaballin]

[Worse. He's both.]

Your loss.

You aren't even a little curious what happens when people die?

[mustact]

[ God help them all honestly. ]

Not enough to sacrifice someone to find out.

[kaballin]

Yeah and you don't have to. Just sit back, relax, and let someone else do the dirty work.

[mustact]

No.

[kaballin]

You can join up with Peter running all over the place trying to stop murders that may or may not be happening. This place is pretty big. Hope you're fast.

[mustact]

I am.

[ And apparently he should team up with Peter to do damage control when there are other things he could be doing why do people like you exist, Kabal, ffs. ]

[kaballin]

I look forward to seeing it. Lemme know how it goes.

[mustact]

[ Definitely not going to. Also hanging up now. ]