redshiftrp | @KaballsDeep | Audio CW: Murder, Suicide, Kabal

Hey assholes.

This is Kabal and I've got a proposition for you.

So I dunno how many of you were here right from the beginning like me, stuck in this place for fucking ever. Anyway, you know no one has died? People disappeared but no one's died.

Makes you wonder what happens to people when they do.

So in the interest of science and my amusement, I've got a prize for the first person to kill someone. I mean I guess you can off yourself too, but if you don't come back then you're screwed out of the prize, but you do you.

I've got a better phone than the shit we were given. It has games, these things: 🍆💦, a Geiger counter, music player. A bunch of other stuff. And it's yours if you prove you did the deed so we can see if they stay dead or turn into a zombie or who knows what else.

Don't have to kill anyone specific, but if it's Qubit I'll throw in a personal shield generator.

Oh and the robot samurai, two story tall lego sculpture and the light up metal ninja don't count. Gotta be a person.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Says the man who breathes louder than faulty air conditioning at a Motel Six.

Edited 2020-04-08 05:56 (UTC)

Wow. Your Motel 6 has AC? Didn't know I was talking to a rich guy from Beverly Hills.

You caught me.

I'm a rich bitch who loves to slum it on skid-row with asthmatic guys made homeless through tragic deep fryer accidents.

Edited 2020-04-09 03:41 (UTC)

Hey now, I'm squatting in one hell of an apartment. The previous tenant had three fridges for some reason so now I have more room for icepacks after I went hang gliding into a volcano.

We've all been there right?

I'm not super into volcanoes. More of a K2 kinda guy.

Have you ever seen an ice-field? It looks like a blanket made of diamonds.

At least until bored idiots with more money than brains ruin it with their tacky neon corpses.

[He doesn't know what K2 is Leonard. This is not someone who watches the travel channel.]

I've seen someone make an ice-field. Pretty, but not exactly great to walk on.

You two would get along thematically.

You're way nicer to look at though.

Another ice aficionado. We should start a club.

Cool kids only.

[Badum tch.

At Kabal's last comment... Len actually has to pause, glancing up from his device to look at the man from across the room. To see if Kabal typed that with a straight face, or was trying to get a rise out of him.

Not easy when he's wearing a mask.

Len's learning to read Kabal through the metal, by the sound of his voice, or quality of his movement, but it's still a work in progress.]

Is that so.

Does the other guy have a carrot nose?

You been waiting a while to use that one?

[He feels those eyes on him, glancing over expressionless minus the glowing slits of his eyes. Nothing to see here.]

Yeah my bff frosty.

He's a weird old ninja who thinks it's still the 1600's or some shit. Heh. He'd kick my ass for calling him a ninja. I hope back home he fucking felt that.

Longer than I'll fess up to.

[That's more than the CCPD have ever gotten out of him.]

Ninja are overrated.

My old partner was obsessed with them.

Take away the flashy swords and they're just weirdly quiet creeps in masks.

Edited 2020-04-20 03:40 (UTC)

And we all know the superior version is loudmouth creeps in masks with flashy swords.

Jury's still out on that one.

But I'd hear an appeal.

Oh judge, jury and executioner all in one? I must be something special.

I think I win this just for never creepily crouching in a corner watching someone sleep. Ninjas are weird.

You're not the watching type.

[Len would know.]

I doubt you could sit still for >10 seconds if you tried.

Why watch when you can play?

For the right incentive I could do anything.

Anything? Sounds like we have ourselves a bet.

I might as well say this in advance: Don't hate the player, hate the game.

[The look he shoots Kabal is no less than challenging, and a lot more than suggestive re: the implied 'criminal' activities.]

[Oh. He may have misjudged his words here. But who's never backed down from a fight even if he knows he can't win? This guy.]

I'll only hate the game if I lose.

What are we betting?

We both know you're going to lose.

I think you mean 'what do I, Leonard Snart, prince of thieves, robber of ATM's, top of the best dressed super-villains 2016 list, want'?

Edited 2020-04-28 02:58 (UTC)

First things first.

Who'd you lose out to in 2017? And all the years after that.

Can't lose a contest that never happened.

When 2017 rolls around, I'll slay it.

Is this a real thing or are you just fucking with me?

Baby, have I ever fucked with you?

[Yes, yes he has.]

Edited 2020-04-29 03:44 (UTC)

A better question is when have you NOT?

Stop being so fun to fuck with, and I'll stop fucking with you.

That sounds like a lot of fucking for one man. Might be in over your head.

Don't worry your pretty metal head about me.

I'm a professional.

(no subject)

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