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Hi again - better news, kind of. At least more useful news.

[ she gives a quick little wave hello. ]

So first of all, quick update on the Reindire. I think I got them addicted to tequila by mistake? In my defence I didn't know that's not normal food for animals like this. I am trying to limit their habit of drinking it with water, but also a robot dedicated to make tequila sunrises just for them in case they get agitated, but dividing it with water or other liquids to ween them off.

Apart from that, they seem to really like Mercenary Day food. Which I've been told you guys call 'Christmas'. But Mercenary Day cake, eggnog, little brightly wrapped candies, something I'm informed is 'pine tree' leaves and 'holly'. That sort of thing. I'm not sure who to tell that to, so if someone could pass that along to the appropriate administration.

Secondly, I made a book, to help people that might be new to space travel. Since not everyone comes from a time and place where they are used to this. [ she lifts up the ring binder of pages, glossily laminated. ] There is no technical speak in here, it's just a no nonsense description of how to put in suits, what to do in the case of chemical fires, what to do if you find yourself in a zero gravity situation. It has pictures too just in case someone can't read or finds the terms hard to grasp. I am leaving a copy for anyone that wants it in the library. I'm more than happy to digitise it as well if anyone would prefer that.

Lastly, in case there is any confusion, I am the big white deer thing with stars and bones that hangs around with the other animals. Please don't try to have me for dinner at any point. I'll give you a warning bite.

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Yeah because I'm wondering how you keep from getting stuck together.

Well that's easy, I'm bigger than them. So it's easy to keep my head above them.

[ Angel you're 5'3 total, even on camera. ]

Uh-huh.

Keep on cuddling I guess.

What's the deal with the stars?

No idea. I didn't exactly control it, I just grew the legs. But I know I've always been... Drawn to space. To the galaxy... I'd have these dreams, I think...

I don't know.

Ah yes, that time in every woman's life where they grow hoofs and horns and run to the forest to commune with nature.

You're joking, but... That kind of happened. In just about the worst way possible. But there was a month, where I didn't talk to anyone. I hunted, I ran, I rolled around in the dirt and I didn't care, I forgot to care about anything. I was free and it was good.

[And she taught some pirated to safely make meth, so, you know, there was that. ]

I don't think I ever would have come back if I hadn't been made to in some way.

Sounds great, why didn't you stay there and not worry about nothing?

Cuz now you're back in the world of "laws". Which fucking sucks. Don't kill people. Don't steal stuff just because you want it. Don't light that on fire to see if it's flammable.

[No one lets Kabal have any fun.]

Short versions? I have the worst Dad you can ever imagine. Long version? .... I have the worst Dad you can ever imagine and there was crazy monster hunters and I got dumped into a new reality. Again.

[ It's been a year. ]

Sounds like you come from where I come from.

Monster hunters? That something like mercenaries? Sound like my kind of people. Could use a few of those.

[To do all those pesky jobs he doesn't want to, like going outside the dome into the radioactive wasteland to see what's out there.]

Earth. New York if you wanna get into specifics. But I spent a lot of time in Outworld and even more in the Netherrealm.

Though not by choice.

[Since he was.. you know.. Dead.]

Uh, Monster here. Please don't be a monster hunter? Pretty please? At least not like those guys. Mercenaries are my entire life, they've been my closest friends.

The monster hunters were more like a crazy cult that liked to axe monsters in the head. Then display our bodies? Yeah.

[ a hum. ]

That depends, how much you worth? Not that it matters here, but if you have a three billion dollar bounty that might be tempting.

'Cept I don't wanna be a monster hunter, I want to use them to go outside so I don't have to. Not sure you've noticed but it's kind of radioactive out there? Anyone crazy enough to go after monsters is crazy enough to think they're immortal and go running out into skin melting storms.

[ Angel pauses, genuinely pauses for a moment.

Because a fear, a real fear, rolls in her gut. He's probably joking, talking like mercenaries talk. She'd made vault hunters, she was used to it. But it was the fact that everything in her life had truly gone wrong over just that. Someone wanting to sell her, trade her, not a little girl, but a siren. One young enough to be molded to a corporations control of they had succeeded.

Her markings were still there. That was it. She had seen it in Jack's eyes twice over now. She was worthless. To all those schemes, to all those planning, violent corporate monster, she wasn't even worth the weight of her skin.

And maybe a little unhinged, maybe a little cruel, she starts to laugh, laugh and laugh and laugh. Her head leant back and her shoulders shaking, laughs until there are tears in her eyes so briefly. To say she is partly insane is nothing, she is Pandoran, of course she is.

But she realises, so completely, so utterly, she is free. By ripped out wires and bloody teeth and her death and rebirth she is - ] Worthless. You can't sell me, there is no bounty, not anymore. I'm completely and utterly worthless. No one would even pay you for what's left of me. I'm a monster and no one would care and probably all you would get is a thank you, I bet there isn't even a grave for me.

I'm worthless.

[And she's so, so happy]

You're real choked up about that, I can tell.

[The eyeroll behind the mask is palpable. The insane laughter reminds him a little of Mileena, except with less teeth. What is with hot as hell women being batshit insane?]

So why are you even worried about monster hunters in the first place? Seems you're pretty safe.

[ He's not wrong in that, she is to a point, crafted, cared for, made that way - so soft. Her smile, her big, black, eyes, her fur and her skin, curves that are easy to wrap around she's found that are just as useful to distract as the kind words she says so easily. The point Jack had made was always that even at her worst, no one would ever quite believe she was capable of the things she was until it was far, far too late. An art to underestimation. ]

Only takes one person selling you off for the highest price to learn what you need to about what people are capable of. Safety doesn't last forever. Not really.

If nothing else I promise to use your bounty for a good cause:

Me.

So about these other hunter types. They people I could bribe into doing shit for me? Cuz I got some extra curricular activities out there in the sand that I'm sure as hell not doing.

Then I'll make a promise, I'll enjoy all the little bits of your tendons when I pick them out of my teeth.

[ No one is taking her is that happily mad grin, never again, not ever, ever again. ]

They're not here, unfortunately. But no. They don't care about doing things for you, or anyone. They just want to kill people like me.

I'm a little well done to be enjoyable but sure, make every bite count.

Lame. Coulda been useful fodder.

It's okay, in my experience, the bits in the middle are still raw.

[ That's awful, she's awful. ]

Either way, kind of irrelevent.

But honestly, if you're worried about sending things out there, why hasn't anyone used all these robots that are just lying around? Lead-lining will stop most of the problems.

Into the dust and sand? Won't they all break?

I don't know anything about robots except they're heavy as shit.

Not if they're made right. And I'm pretty good at making them, all told.

So long as I don't have to carry it. Last time I dealt with a robot he was unconscious for hours and I had to lug his ass around all over the place. You know how heavy robots are? Fucking heavy.

[ Angel snorts. ]

Yeah, you don't have to worry about that - I can lift you and the robot and your buddy that was unconscious at the same time and not break a sweat.

That is hot as fuck.

You're welcome.

It's that aim to please attitude that's gonna make you real popular around here.

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circumspector - 2020-03-30 04:30 (UTC) - Expand

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