text, un: yourstruly.

[floozie]

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years of experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

Comments

[text | @hot.damn]

[circumitus]

"for exposure"

are you fucking serious?????

[floozie]

Always. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, taking care of a hot shot like me.

You interested?

[circumitus]

first of all: no

second: who are you, hot shot???

third: what youre suggesting sounds shady as fuck.
also sounds a lot like indentured servitude
but that's being generous

@mercy;

[enumerator]

Haven't you ever heard of paying in favors?

[floozie]

I've done my fair share of swapping favours, Mercy. In the right place with the right person, they can be fun; however you guys are a bunch of unknowns, so the favours would need to be thematic and simple.

Do you like owing things to other people? It sucks.

[enumerator]

It "sucks" for the person who is owing. I've gotten far with favors.

I've worked without pay before, and for people more important than you. I'm not doing that again.

@ray.jack

[fessus]

Uhhh I have a shirt but idk what size you are and this is all really kind of sketchy. I mean ig it makes sense or it would if 'for exposure' weren't such a meme but you didn't even say your name/title so lol?

[floozie]

Don't worry about it, Ray. I know you're not my size.

You and Hot.Damn are going to hurt my feelings. I don't know what a meme is, but what's sketchy about asking someone to do my laundry?

[fessus]

lmao wow sad

Zelos is this you? It's sketchy that you're not paying them fwiw

text; @Spides

[itsnotaonesie]

no maids or butlers, but I can hook you up with a mostly functional Roomba.

as for shirts you might wanna try looting some of the abandoned rooms. don't worry, you won't have to peel them off of dead bodies or anything.

[floozie]

Somehow you've been the most helpful person so far, Spides, even if I don't know what the hell a Roomba is.

Dumb it down for me a little, would you?

[itsnotaonesie]

People tell me that a lot actually, and that I'm too nice for my own good.

[Which is why he continues, because he really is too goddamn nice for his own good.]

A Roomba's a little saucer shaped robot that'll clean your floor. Nothing too exciting, but if you don't have time for a ton of chores it can be a real time saver.

There are robots that take care of basic maintenance and cleaning, so we kind of already have most of that covered. I know there's a lady who likes to make a bunch of food and leave it for people in the kitchen, so if you're like me and suck at cooking, you're not gonna starve to death here. Just pitch in and help out wherever you can, nobody expects you to bend over backwards or scrub toilets, but this is a community that more or less survives because of teamwork, as corny as that sounds.

text @totheark

[0thingsonmymind]

what

[floozie]

I guess my message didn't send. I'll write it out again, but this is the last time.

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years' experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

[0thingsonmymind]

i sawread
it

i donot
under stand

text; @apocalypseArisen

[livingdeadgirl]

[ You know that feeling when you're playing Dwarf Fortress, and you get a new batch of migrants, and one of them turns out to be a Noble? ... yeah, Ami doesn't either, but it's a little like that. ]

im going to go out on a limb and guess you are new here
if so welcome to anchor
and im sorry to have to disappoint you!
perhaps back home you are used to being waited on hand and foot
but things work a little differently here
a lot of work goes into keeping the colony running
and you will be expected to do your fair share!

[floozie]

(i know that exact feeling, bro)

No one in their right mind would do a ton of work for free.

[livingdeadgirl]

consider it working for exposure

@Sparrow

[arcadedragon]

I too am used to having everyone do things for me. But you'll not find the same is available here. I've had to learn how to do many things for myself.

I can teach you to do laundry if you wish to learn.

[floozie]

You seem like a rational person, Sparrow, so I'll be completely honest with you.

I have no desire to learn how to do my own laundry. If I did, I would've written a message that said "Attention, everyone! I'd like someone to teach me how to do boring chores!" You know?

[arcadedragon]

I am preemptively offering so you do not need to post such a thing when it becomes obvious that no one will shoulder your personal responsibilities.

Should you wish to keep it quiet that you do not know how to do them.

text; @GOSUCKADICK

[substances]

sure ill do it

[floozie]

Hey, that's great! You start immediately.

Part of being my caretaker also includes bragging rights, so we're going to need to tell all the pessimists (or just your favourites) who didn't believe we'd find each other to do exactly what your username says. How about it?

[voice to text | @SCARAMOUCHE]

[numerouno]

So who are you again?

[He's not reading all these responses to find out; he's got better things to do.]

[floozie]

Only the most attractive man here. The name's Zelos Wilder.

Who're you?