text, un: yourstruly.

[floozie]

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years of experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

Comments

[text | @hot.damn]

[circumitus]

"for exposure"

are you fucking serious?????

[floozie]

Always. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, taking care of a hot shot like me.

You interested?

[circumitus]

first of all: no

second: who are you, hot shot???

third: what youre suggesting sounds shady as fuck.
also sounds a lot like indentured servitude
but that's being generous

[floozie]

You're pretty vulgar, aren't you?

I'm Zelos Wilder. I'm kind of a big deal in my world, so you'll have to excuse me if finding someone to do my laundry, buy my supplies, tidy my quarters, and make me food three times a day is too much to ask. Simple things like that are only as shady as you make them!

@mercy;

[enumerator]

Haven't you ever heard of paying in favors?

@ray.jack

[fessus]

Uhhh I have a shirt but idk what size you are and this is all really kind of sketchy. I mean ig it makes sense or it would if 'for exposure' weren't such a meme but you didn't even say your name/title so lol?

text; @Spides

[itsnotaonesie]

no maids or butlers, but I can hook you up with a mostly functional Roomba.

as for shirts you might wanna try looting some of the abandoned rooms. don't worry, you won't have to peel them off of dead bodies or anything.

text @totheark

[0thingsonmymind]

what

text; @apocalypseArisen

[livingdeadgirl]

[ You know that feeling when you're playing Dwarf Fortress, and you get a new batch of migrants, and one of them turns out to be a Noble? ... yeah, Ami doesn't either, but it's a little like that. ]

im going to go out on a limb and guess you are new here
if so welcome to anchor
and im sorry to have to disappoint you!
perhaps back home you are used to being waited on hand and foot
but things work a little differently here
a lot of work goes into keeping the colony running
and you will be expected to do your fair share!

[circumitus]

and youre pretty much a lazy walking asscheek arent you?

anyway youll be hard pressed to find anyone around here willing to do any of those things for you except maybe one of the robots
tho you probably shouldnt trust any of them to make your food
and they dont care about exposure

you sound new so just fyi no ones buying shit for you its all free

[floozie]

I've done my fair share of swapping favours, Mercy. In the right place with the right person, they can be fun; however you guys are a bunch of unknowns, so the favours would need to be thematic and simple.

Do you like owing things to other people? It sucks.

[floozie]

Don't worry about it, Ray. I know you're not my size.

You and Hot.Damn are going to hurt my feelings. I don't know what a meme is, but what's sketchy about asking someone to do my laundry?

[floozie]

Somehow you've been the most helpful person so far, Spides, even if I don't know what the hell a Roomba is.

Dumb it down for me a little, would you?

[floozie]

I guess my message didn't send. I'll write it out again, but this is the last time.

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years' experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

[floozie]

(i know that exact feeling, bro)

No one in their right mind would do a ton of work for free.

[floozie]

Yep, that sounds about right.

(zelos "lazy walking asscheek" wilder, that's him.)

I don't know what kind of robots you have here, but if they're similar to the ones I'm familiar with then you know that there's no way they're smart enough to separate white and dyed material.

Good tips, though. Even if "free" is just another word for "cheap" and "bad quality," it sounds like I'll have to make do.

[0thingsonmymind]

i sawread
it

i donot
under stand

1/2

[floozie]

What's hard to understand? It seems pretty straightforward to me.

2/2

[floozie]

Wait, are you illiterate or something?

[fessus]

lmao wow sad

Zelos is this you? It's sketchy that you're not paying them fwiw

[itsnotaonesie]

People tell me that a lot actually, and that I'm too nice for my own good.

[Which is why he continues, because he really is too goddamn nice for his own good.]

A Roomba's a little saucer shaped robot that'll clean your floor. Nothing too exciting, but if you don't have time for a ton of chores it can be a real time saver.

There are robots that take care of basic maintenance and cleaning, so we kind of already have most of that covered. I know there's a lady who likes to make a bunch of food and leave it for people in the kitchen, so if you're like me and suck at cooking, you're not gonna starve to death here. Just pitch in and help out wherever you can, nobody expects you to bend over backwards or scrub toilets, but this is a community that more or less survives because of teamwork, as corny as that sounds.

[0thingsonmymind]

iam writ ing read ing


your post doesnot make
sense

*Most of the words are familiar but the idea of hiring someone to take care of you is something he's never come across before. Well, not that he remembers.*

[floozie]

Of course it is. Know anyone else capable of radiating this kind of personality through letters on a screen?

I understood about half of your message. Are you writing badly on purpose to confuse me?

[fessus]

Yeah

And no. It's text speak, you make stuff shorter to save time. You seriously don't do that? ig not since you don't know what a meme is........ lmao = laughing my ass off, fwiw = for what it's worth, ig = i guess

[floozie]

Too nice, too mean, whatever. Do what you want and ignore everyone else's opinion. That's how I've lived my life and look how well I turned out.

(at peter's behest he'll definitely go pay this lady chef a visit. maybe he can get extra meals if he cranks up the charm.)

Everything else you said aside, where do I get one of the Roombas?