text, un: yourstruly.

[floozie]

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years of experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

Comments

[itsnotaonesie]

People tell me that a lot actually, and that I'm too nice for my own good.

[Which is why he continues, because he really is too goddamn nice for his own good.]

A Roomba's a little saucer shaped robot that'll clean your floor. Nothing too exciting, but if you don't have time for a ton of chores it can be a real time saver.

There are robots that take care of basic maintenance and cleaning, so we kind of already have most of that covered. I know there's a lady who likes to make a bunch of food and leave it for people in the kitchen, so if you're like me and suck at cooking, you're not gonna starve to death here. Just pitch in and help out wherever you can, nobody expects you to bend over backwards or scrub toilets, but this is a community that more or less survives because of teamwork, as corny as that sounds.

[floozie]

Too nice, too mean, whatever. Do what you want and ignore everyone else's opinion. That's how I've lived my life and look how well I turned out.

(at peter's behest he'll definitely go pay this lady chef a visit. maybe he can get extra meals if he cranks up the charm.)

Everything else you said aside, where do I get one of the Roombas?

[itsnotaonesie]

I don't know a single thing about you, pal.

[Other than he's starting to sound a little more like a total jackass. Peter's the kind of guy that cares too much about literally everything, good luck getting him to ignore everyone else's opinions, buckeroo.]

I have a couple spares in R&D, just finishing up repairs on them.

[floozie]

(THAT'S A WEIRD FLEX PETEY, PLEASE LOVE YOURSELF.)

How exciting. I'm staking my claim on one now. How long do you think the repairs will take?

[itsnotaonesie]

[HE JUST CARES ABOUT EVERYONE SO MUCH you're right he is terrible at loving himself :(]

Assuming nothing else in Anchor breaks or malfunctions or anything else horrible happens, I dunno, a couple hours tops. Unless you want it painted or something, then I'd give it a day for it to dry.

[floozie]

As much as I'd love a pretty paint job, I don't think I can wait that long knowing it's almost done.

Where should I meet you to pick this thing up?

[itsnotaonesie]

Well, right now I'm in my lap in research and development, that's on the level just below the surface level. It's real easy for me to be anywhere fast though, so if you know what you're close to you can just let me know and I'll figure it out.

[floozie]

You have a whole lab? I didn't know I was talking to the big leagues.

As much as I like taking long, pointless walks, I'd much rather you bring it to me. Would you do that? Then I don't have to risk getting lost. So many people would be beside themselves with worry; I'd hate for a search party to be sent out.

Yeeah LAB not lap OOPS

[itsnotaonesie]

Nobody else was using it, didn't want the space to go to waste.

Oh, don't worry, we wouldn't send out a search party. Anyway, you gotta tell me where you are if you want me to bring this thing to you.

[floozie]

In the barracks, meandering.

I was trying to do laundry, then ruined my shirt. Now I'm cold and alone!

[itsnotaonesie]

it's all good, sometimes you just gotta meander.

I'll be there in a few minutes, then we can do something about your shirt situation.

[floozie]

How kind of you.

You'll recognize me immediately; I'm the flashiest one around. Red hair, can't miss it.

[itsnotaonesie]

Don't think we have many redheads around here, should be easy to spot. See you in a bit.

[Peter wasn't kidding about showing up quick. As soon as he finishes up the Roomba he's on his way with it tucked under his arm, and sure enough, Zelos is super easy to spot. he waves him down as he approaches,]

Jeez, you weren't kidding about the hair, dude. Doesn't get much flashier than that.

[floozie]

Would I lie to you, Spides? (smirking with a showy flip of hair over a shoulder, dipping into a shallow bow.

now all of this would be relatively normal if zelos had a shirt on, but he seems rather fine with showing off. he's strong, broad, and definitely unable to fit into one of peter's shirts—unless, of course, he has some kind of pullover lying around.

raiding another quad is sounding better and better. not before checking out his new roomba, though.)

That was fast... trying to beat a record or something? Don't tell me you ran all the way here.

[itsnotaonesie]

I have no idea, man. I've known you for like twenty minutes.

[Just saying. Also it probably doesn't help that Peter tends to dress in baggier clothes that make him look skinnier than he actually is. His over shirt actually might fit Zelos? But optical illusions, man.]

Nah, I jumped. It's a pretty direct shot down from R&D, just gotta angle it right.

[Because that sounds like something a rational person would do, right? Anyway, he's going to set this Roomba up for a demonstration like this conversation isn't even weird.]