Jeff Calhoun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bardish) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
redshiftrp2019-07-09 07:56 pm
bardish) wrote in redshiftrp2019-07-09 07:56 pm
video; birkenstocks in space (un: j.calhoun)
[ Here's a face peering into the communication device, all up close and personal, before he blinks and pulls his face back. When he speaks, it's in a hushed, panicky whisper: an anxious soliloquy. ] ...is this rolling? [ Blink. ] Shit! It's so rolling! What was I gonna say? I had a whole thing prepared and-- Ahh... Oh god...
[ Do something, Jeff. You can't just stand there like a deer staring at an oncoming 18-wheeler. ]
Uh. Hi...? [ A nervous wave. ] Hello! Greetings? I'm, uh-- I'm not really sure if this is the right place to ask, because I don't know if anyone's alive or dead-- [ Aside: ] Is that guy from the video still around, or is he...?
[ He makes a face, wrinkling his nose at the unpleasantness. Jeff may be looking a little green around the gills here. ]
Anyway...
My name's Jeff and I totally come in peace! Is there anyone out there? Anyone who, like, wears shoes in a men's size 10, who might have an extra pair lying around, because I could really use something other than sandals right now. I mean, they're good shoes, super comfortable, but I'm pretty sure flip-flops aren't appropriate footwear for this kind of place, like, it just seems wrong to walk around here with my toes out-- what if I catch some kind of crazy new strain of tetanus!
[ AWKWARD BEAT. He smiles, grins, way too toothy, like a man on the verge of a panic attack, but he's really trying here. ]
I'm really not picky! As long as they cover my feet! You know, because once I've got the right shoes, then it's all gonna be fine. It's fine. Everything fine! [ Keep telling yourself that, Jeff. ] So... Men's size 10! [ He even holds up 10 fingers, to illustrate. Then he closes his fists into two enthusiastic thumbs up. ] That's all! Thanks!
[ Do something, Jeff. You can't just stand there like a deer staring at an oncoming 18-wheeler. ]
Uh. Hi...? [ A nervous wave. ] Hello! Greetings? I'm, uh-- I'm not really sure if this is the right place to ask, because I don't know if anyone's alive or dead-- [ Aside: ] Is that guy from the video still around, or is he...?
[ He makes a face, wrinkling his nose at the unpleasantness. Jeff may be looking a little green around the gills here. ]
Anyway...
My name's Jeff and I totally come in peace! Is there anyone out there? Anyone who, like, wears shoes in a men's size 10, who might have an extra pair lying around, because I could really use something other than sandals right now. I mean, they're good shoes, super comfortable, but I'm pretty sure flip-flops aren't appropriate footwear for this kind of place, like, it just seems wrong to walk around here with my toes out-- what if I catch some kind of crazy new strain of tetanus!
[ AWKWARD BEAT. He smiles, grins, way too toothy, like a man on the verge of a panic attack, but he's really trying here. ]
I'm really not picky! As long as they cover my feet! You know, because once I've got the right shoes, then it's all gonna be fine. It's fine. Everything fine! [ Keep telling yourself that, Jeff. ] So... Men's size 10! [ He even holds up 10 fingers, to illustrate. Then he closes his fists into two enthusiastic thumbs up. ] That's all! Thanks!