Text un: Rook

[nothinglikefather]

Ladies, Gents and Qubit:

If you happen to find neatly folded trousers tucked away in corners around the place, leave them alone.

It's important they stay where they are in case of emergencies.

If you take them and don't replace them I will know and you will regret it.

And if you do see a tall, naked, handsome man looking for said trousers: Do not touch.

Comments

[nockturnal]

[ After reading all of that, he really just has the one question. ]

Why

[nothinglikefather]

because I asked very nicely

[nockturnal]

Why is he naked

[nothinglikefather]

that's really none of your business.

[nockturnal]

If there is a chance I may see the naked man, I would say that is is

[nothinglikefather]

Haven't you seen any before?

[nockturnal]

Never when I was not expecting to.

[nothinglikefather]

Not everyone likes surprises, I suppose.

It might not ever be necessary. But if it is... just shut your eyes.

[text; un: bearly.bewitched]

[birdical]

Do not touch the trousers, or do not touch the man? ;)

[text | @hot.damn]

[circumitus]

who would want to touch some nasty ass trousers?

or some nasty ass naked guy whos leaving them around for that matter?

@Pratt

[theweakhavepurpose]

Do I want to know why you need emergency pants?

[nothinglikefather]

Both. He's mine.

[nothinglikefather]

1. They're not that nasty. We've washed them. And the patches are holding up pretty well.

2. He's not nasty.

[nothinglikefather]

Pratt, that's really not something I can answer for you.

[circumitus]

leaving trousers lying around like this is some kind of frat house IS nasty

if you started seeing bras and thongs and shit like other clothes just lying around this place would YOU be inclined to leave them be???

[...

[wait no]

dont answer that

in fact forget this entire fucking conversation ghg

[nothinglikefather]

okay, wait a minute

what's a frat house?

[circumitus]

[...

[!!!]

not entirely sure tbh

except its where a bunch of college clowndicks live and act like a bag of smashed assholes and get drunk and party a lot

[nothinglikefather]

[ Jacob takes a moment to re-read that a couple of times. He has got used to a lot of modern language very quicky, but he still doesn't understand some of the terms Rey uses. He'll ask Angel about "clowndicks" and "bag of smashed assholes". ]

Like Cambridge or Oxford, you mean?

I promise this has nothing to do with parties. We'd all rather he didn't have to do this.

[vosseeker]

[ why are humans like this ]

[circumspector]

[ DO YOU HEAR THAT GIGGLING, CHARLES AND JACOB?

BECAUSE THAT IS SO MUCH GIGGLING. ]

text; @Qubit

[superposition]

[ Oh, so now he's his own option on the gender dropdown. Isn't that nice. ]

I'm not sure why you felt the need to address me personally, but rest assured I have no more interest in your strategically placed trousers than anybody else.

[ Though he is a bit curious, now, as to why there's a need for them. Thanks for drawing his attention to it! ]

[nothinglikefather]

You're not a gentleman or a lady. I wasn't about to write "and any assorted arseholes" when your name is so much shorter.

Good. Ignore then if you find them. You'll be happier that way.

[nothinglikefather]

[ The giggling isn't required. This is for Charles' comfort and well being!]

[nothinglikefather]

[ The question is why don't robots wear pants.]

[theweakhavepurpose]

I'll avoid your weird pant stockpile. Just for you.