@Pratt || Video

[theweakhavepurpose]

[The video opens on Princess Thug who is happily gnawing on a reindire antler, a new purple collar around her neck with a few blingy rhinestones on it. She's been bathed and groomed so she looks like a delightful floof of a wolf right now and not the fierce, murdering Judge she should be. Jacob would be furious.]

So I opened a bunch of the presents or whatever they were, outside in the crashed ship and PT got some good stuff.

Did uh.. Did anyone find something that seemed really meant for them? Maybe something a little fucked up?

Comments

[theweakhavepurpose]

It must. Somehow.

A few months ago someone found one of my shirts from another place I'd been.

Either it knows or it's slowly porting in shit thats attached to us.

[nothinglikefather]

I'm not keen on either of those options. I don't like places that mess with us for shits and giggles. Or places that accidentally keep pulling stuff in because we're here.

Jacob Frye, by the by. Nice to know there's sensible people here.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Jacob.

[Well that's unfortunate. Weirdly he hasn't encountered another person named Jacob since he'd been ported from home.]

Deputy Pratt.

I'd be a little better with it if we could choose what showed up. I'd like my guns back.

[nothinglikefather]

Deputy as in... police deputy?

[ Which is even more unfortunate, if it is the case.]

You'd get a lot of use out of them here, then?

[ And no, he isn't about to mention he got a gun for "Christmas" or whatever it was.]

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah. Back home I was. I don't have jurisdiction here if you're worried about shoplifting from the stores.

[Since that seems to be the first reaction to finding out he's a cop.]

Might. But I'd feel a lot safer with one just in case. All I've got is a knife and a shovel, so if we do get attacked by aliens I'm not feeling real good about my chances.

[nothinglikefather]

Oh. Good.

But I guess there are no laws here so, it hardly matters, does it?

[ Because Jacob Frye's crimes don't really come under shoplifting. They're more... destruction of property. Disturbing the peace. Murder.

All the fun ones.]


Well you can use anything as a weapon. Got a good edge on that shovel?

[theweakhavepurpose]

Not really. And we don't have much of a jail. Don't start murdering everyone, otherwise we may have to keep you chained to a radiator.

Yeah I'm keeping it sharp but I also need to use it for shovel things. Doubly dangerous, anyone I hit with it will get tetnus.

[nothinglikefather]

You mean try to keep me chained to a radiator.

[ He sounds very much amused by the idea, if only because he's sure that he wouldn't stay chained to anything for longer than five minutes.]

Shovel things? Like what? Where?

[theweakhavepurpose]

I look forward to seeing you wander around Anchor lugging a whole ass radiator behind you.

[He'd actually be a little impressed.]

Up at the ranch on the agriculture level. I'm planting a bunch of things, carrots, turnips, some sort of lettuce.

[nothinglikefather]

Mate, you break the cuffs.

Oh, vegetables. Do we have wheat? A staple foodstuff?

[theweakhavepurpose]

Cop pro-tip: It's way easier to break what the cuffs are connected to.

Wouldn't do us much good without a mill. We have corn but no wheat or barley or grains. I could try for some but doesn't it take like ten plants to make enough flour for one loaf of bread?

[nothinglikefather]

Not when I'm from. But thanks, I'll remember that.

I'm not really interested in bread. There's a much better use for cereal crops.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Would we still need a mill? Because we don't exactly have one of those.

And I'm not growing hops when we have a bar already.

[nothinglikefather]

You don't have to have an actual mill to make flour mate. Just some big heavy crushing things.

Have you tasted the beer there?

[theweakhavepurpose]

No. If I start drinking now I'll never stop.

If you can find barley seeds you're more than welcome to plant them in one of the plots up here but it's still gonna take a shitton to get a decent amount of moonshine. Also I haven't checked if the kitchen has yeast.

[nothinglikefather]

I suppose that sort of puts you off it.

Guess that depends on whether it's personal consumption or not. I'll talk to a few people, see if we can't work something out. The by-products are useful for making bread. Which probably... would be better than beer.

[theweakhavepurpose]

You're free to try to grow whatever you want up here, we've got the room. Good beer might make eating these space turnips tastier.

Actually they're not bad fried. But everything is good fried so that's not much of an endorsement.

[nothinglikefather]

Most people will eat anything if they're hungry enough. Turnips included. Have you ever had gruel?

[theweakhavepurpose]

[he actually looks terrified for a brief second before getting ahold of himself.]

Anything you can think of, I have eaten worse.

Let's stick to the turnips.

[nothinglikefather]

You know what? I'm not going to ask.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Good because I'm not going to answer.

But let me know how your foray into becoming a moonshiner goes.