// video; open

[circumspector]

[ Angel's feature's flicker onto the screen, black-eyed, black hair, those strange blue markings that adorn her body down her left side and right horn, that telltale hint of fur that appears across her shoulders, her neck, collar-like. Decidedly, completely, not human. ]

Hi. There has never been an easy way to have this conversation so I am just going to jump into it. I'm a monster. [ Her long ears flick, pricking to sound, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Her thick, black claws that come to flat ends tap against her cheek. ] It's a long, long story. But the sum of it is pretty straight forward, there was a God. She took people like this place takes people, she turned us into things. I became this. I wasn't always this, nor was I chosen for any grand reason. But now I am capable of smashing through concrete with one kick, I can lift ten or twelves my own weight, and I weight a lot, despite my size.

But that and the horns isn't why I call myself a monster. I'm a monster because I crave human flesh. I can and have eaten living people. I didn't get a choice about it. I can sate it when things are good. Raw meat of animals will do the trick. But, if I put it off any meat at all long enough, the hunger becomes ravenous, and I get taken over by this... this rage and hunger. I might - care for you, want happy things for you. But when I am like that? I'm not your friend. I'm not human. I'm not... not me. I can manage it, but this place just wiped my memories for a few days, so I can't make that assurance it will never happen.

So this is my permission. The day that happens, and you can't trap me or stop me, you can put a bullet in my head. I won't cling selfishly to a life where I am hurting someone to fuel myself. I'll only regret it when I come out of it. If it's me or someone else, I'll always pick for someone else to live over me hurting someone just because I am like... this.

[ She clears her throat, because what else is there to really say? So just... ]

... Do you think Tequila is bad for the Reindire? I keep feeding them mine.

[ #nailedit ]

Comments

[circumspector]

[ she nods trying not to grin so hard, half hiding that abashed smile that he brings out of her so easily. ]

Anyway, did you want to come up now or later? I probably can't come back to the room until I get them settled for the night anyway.

[mustact]

[ Honestly, she should just grin as hard as she wants. But he's happy to see her grin like that at all. ]

We may want a full day for this.

[circumspector]

Do you think that long -?

[ Then again.]

Ugh you're probably right, you know animals better than I do.

[mustact]

If they are used to being fed by you it may take them some time to decide to look for food themselves, and we do not know how long looking might take them. If they eat plants, probably not long. If they eat meat, that would complicate things.

[circumspector]

Okay, we can start tomorrow morning then. They start moving early, I'd say around dawn but who knows what that means in here exactly. But that kind of time.

[mustact]

I will be ready.

[circumspector]

Okay. [ Then there is a little happy shift when she realises - ] Can you make me coffee before I get up? You know, I'm bad at mornings...

[ You know because they share a bed now. Together. Because they were together. In a bed and no one got to stop her. ]

[mustact]

[ He bows his head. ]

I can.

[circumspector]

[ when it is morning, it's not particularly strange that she wakes up after him, she did have a habit of sleeping late whenever given the opportunity.

The clip-clop of her hooves as she makes her way out of a morning to wherever he is. Not saying anything, just shuffling out in his shirt with her hair sticking up here there and everywhere in a tumble of waves caught around horns. Rubbing the heel of her palm against her eye as she yawns, and comes over to him and leans against his shoulder.

She's awake. So there is that. Rubbing her face there as she mumbles something like good morning]

[mustact]

[ While he hasn't always had the luxury of a set schedule, and he has occasionally stayed up to wander Anchor at night, he's quickly decided there's not really any reason to here. With so few people here, it's very quiet, and if anyone will be awake most of them will be animals.

Which means he sleeps more like the homesteaders do. Go to bed early enough, and wake up early. He misses the sun and fresh air, just like he used to in the City, but it is very nice to have Angel with him properly, like they'd wanted but she because of Jack didn't quite dare. He's been up for a while, but has only just started preparing breakfast by the time she comes up and leans against him.

He smiles warmly, and reaches a hand back to carefully smooth her hair out some. ]

Good morning.

[circumspector]

[Her hair fights a valiant fight to try and stay sticking up in every direction possible. Not even helped that even as he tries to get it to stay put she runs her face more against him and sends it tumbling off in the other direction.

Probably should reshave that side of her head at some point. ]

Mmmfmphm.

[ Which might seem something like what's for breakfast? But it was up for debate really. ]

[mustact]

[ There's bread, a variety of things to use as toppings in sandwiches, and some fried fish. Which he would tell her if he understood what she meant, but it doesn't exactly sounds like words.

Instead, he turns towards her and wraps his arms around her, and starts gently rubbing her back. ]

[circumspector]

[ Is there a better way to start a day? Any day? No, she didn't think so. Yawning again, she does the merciful thing of turn her cheek into his chest instead. Another yawn, big and wide. Did she stay up all night reading? Maybe. Did she regret it even a little? Definitely not.

But there is a slow blink, as she tilts her face up with that same sleepy expression. Huffing a breath to try and get her hair out of her face where it stubbornly fell forward between her horns. ]

Coffee?

[mustact]

I have made coffee.

[ Which she is welcome to whenever she wants to. Given the way she's leaning into him, though, he's not in too much of a hurry to pull away. ]

[circumspector]

[ They are in a little cabin, on a isolation space port, crammed in together with their friends, surrounded a landscape that would try to kill them in a universe that made less and less sense and for the first time in her life, she was totally worthless as a human being.

It was wonderful. she never wanted it to end. ]

Okay. Did you sleep good?

[mustact]

Mmm. Did you?

[ Did you sleep at all? ]

[circumspector]

[ There is another huge yawn. Rubbing her cheek sheepishly back against his chest. ]

Yes. When I finally got to sleep...

[ Guilty as charged. ]

... But it was a good sleep when I did.

[ Like always, she had slipped against his side, curled her ear into his chest, she had let his warmth fill her limbs, and she had let her mind turn itself off at last. ]

[mustact]

[ All right, so he often doesn't sleep as much as he perhaps should. Since coming here, however, he's had little reason to not sleep properly, even if he occasionally spends a few hours awake during the night. There's not much here that demands they stay away, so he raises an eyebrow, even if she can't see it. ]

What were you doing?

[circumspector]

[ She can't see it, but she just about knows it's there. A sixth sense, if you will. But only for that gentle poking when he wasn't quite sure what she was up to. ]

Testing reports on the half-life of the radiation outside, I think. It's fascinating. I love break-downs on chemical compounds, I haven't seen this sort before at all.

[mustact]

[ He smiles softly, always content to listen to hear speak about things like that, even if he might not always understand it. Wonder what she found that was so different. ]

Tell me about it.

[circumspector]

[ Angel detangles from him so he can keep making breakfast and she can get that coffee. Coffee first, then word babble. Going for the cup he had made before she goes to the kitchen counter beside him, bouncing on her hooves to jump and sit on the edge of the counter. ]

I think it's the Red Shift everyone mentioned. It... deposits stuff. I mean, us, for one thing. [ Paise. ] You know I find it kind of nice to have an actual event to warn for being dumped between dimensions this time? [ she clears her throat. ] But other stuff. Lots of stuff. Stuff that shows up in dirt. Dirt keeps a history of everything. So does the bacteria in your stomach, but that's something for Tannis to go on about.

[ She braces her hooves flat against the desk, propping her knees up with the way they naturally curve. ] Granted, remember how in the book I mention about radiation being really bad? [ Because unlike Jacob, she knew Connor would have taken the time to read and take steps to learn from it. ] It does that to everything, not just people. Radiation is an explosion that never ends. Forever and ever and ever, it reacts. It changes form, which is the remarkable part. Usually matter, any kind of matter, it can be mixed, sure, but everything that was there, is still there, it just... rearranges itself. Imagine it like Jacob changing hats. It's always Jacob wearing them, it's always a hat, but it can look very different depending on what he found in the cupboard today. Water is always two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom. Even if you put something else in it, that won't disappear. You can't actually destroy anything in the galaxy, not really. Nothing ever, truly, dies. There is parts of your bones, your blood, your organs, whether you know it or not, that was thrown out of an exploding star, millennia ago.

[ She lifts her hand with the coffee, giggling. ] I wouldn't put it past Jacob's part of that cosmic dust to be wearing three layers and a hat then either.

[mustact]

[ Jacob wearing hats? He raises an eyebrow at her at the analogy, and shakes his head slightly every now and then as she keeps going, an amused smile on his face. ]

You are ridiculous.

[ But there's something beautiful about the thought that everyone and everything has once been part of a star. ]

[circumspector]

[Her analogy was perfect! It made perfect sense and was adaptable. Her genius is lost on him.

So Angel does the only sensible thing when faced with being unappreciated.

She leans over and licks his cheek. Not teasingly, or enticingly, or sexily to get his attention as she might if she were being coy to get his attention. Just a big old mlem on his face. ]

[mustact]

[ He doesn't quite jerk away, but he leans slowly to the side, and turns his head to give her a confused face.

Why? ]

[circumspector]

[ She raises both her eyebrows, over her coffee cup, then crosses one leg over the other as primly as if she was Lady Aurelia herself. Proper and dignified as she could be.

Then settled her cup down beside her with that still faintly challenging air. So, what was he going to do about it? ]