video; birkenstocks in space (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

[ Here's a face peering into the communication device, all up close and personal, before he blinks and pulls his face back. When he speaks, it's in a hushed, panicky whisper: an anxious soliloquy. ] ...is this rolling? [ Blink. ] Shit! It's so rolling! What was I gonna say? I had a whole thing prepared and-- Ahh... Oh god...

[ Do something, Jeff. You can't just stand there like a deer staring at an oncoming 18-wheeler. ]

Uh. Hi...? [ A nervous wave. ] Hello! Greetings? I'm, uh-- I'm not really sure if this is the right place to ask, because I don't know if anyone's alive or dead-- [ Aside: ] Is that guy from the video still around, or is he...?

[ He makes a face, wrinkling his nose at the unpleasantness. Jeff may be looking a little green around the gills here. ]

Anyway...

My name's Jeff and I totally come in peace! Is there anyone out there? Anyone who, like, wears shoes in a men's size 10, who might have an extra pair lying around, because I could really use something other than sandals right now. I mean, they're good shoes, super comfortable, but I'm pretty sure flip-flops aren't appropriate footwear for this kind of place, like, it just seems wrong to walk around here with my toes out-- what if I catch some kind of crazy new strain of tetanus!

[ AWKWARD BEAT. He smiles, grins, way too toothy, like a man on the verge of a panic attack, but he's really trying here. ]

I'm really not picky! As long as they cover my feet! You know, because once I've got the right shoes, then it's all gonna be fine. It's fine. Everything fine! [ Keep telling yourself that, Jeff. ] So... Men's size 10! [ He even holds up 10 fingers, to illustrate. Then he closes his fists into two enthusiastic thumbs up. ] That's all! Thanks!

Comments

text; @ GOSUCKADICK

[substances]

u can pry my flowery army boots outta my cold dead hands

mite be able to find someghin round here tho

un: j.calhoun

[bardish]

i don’t think i have it in me to get that cutthroat over shoes man!

do you think they have something that isn’t space boots lying around here?

[substances]

i mean they had mres
they were just real expired
and thres shops i think

and i maybe MAYBE have an extra pair of shoes
that mite fit
but only as a last resort
theyre from home

video;

[braveoff]

[ Oh no, this guy is screaming 'impending freakout' already. Drake isn't a size 10, and only has a vague idea where they could even start with searching for clothing, but he also really can't watch someone about to lose their shit and not do anything. So of course he replies, trying to project some chill though the communicator for this guy's sake. ]

There might be some around to scavenge, I can help you look. But I think you're right about flip flops being inappropriate... could you wear 11s until we find something? I've got spare boots.

[bardish]

[ Bless you, Drake, you're a good man. He tries to take in some of that chill, breathe it in-- uh, via Facetime-- but all he really manages is a deep breath followed by another nervous smile. ]

Oh yeah. Elevens are super! [ A beat, as he furrows his brow and mutters to himself, affronted by his own word choice. ] 'Super'?

[ REALLY, JEFF. ]

Um. I'm not picky. I can turn it up to eleven!

[ Why are you making a This is Spinal Tap reference, Jeff? To his credit, he makes another face in response to himself. ]

[braveoff]

[ ...wow, buddy. Drake grins, because it is actually pretty funny, but there's an undercurrent of worry in his voice because he gets the feeling that he's just desperately trying to sound okay and way overshooting it. ]

Then you're set for now, I'll meet you and we can search for more supplies. Maybe that'll help you wind down a little, too, huh?

[ There's no condemnation there, just the simple acknowledgement that Jeff is clearly riled. Which is perfectly understandable in this situation, Drake spent two years as a meltdown-fielding welcome wagon in the last place he was hijacked to. ]

My name's Drake, how about you come find me on the mid-level by the shops? Seems like a good place to start looking.

voice; UN: waltz

[enveloped]

[The following comes after a long, dead stare into the camera.

Of all the people in the universe, why did the colony choose him.]

Flip flops are not, and never will be, good shoes.

No one wants to see your toes. No one.

VIDEO STILL

[bardish]

[ Wait.

No.

NO.

Jeff recognizes that voice. And at first he looks terrified, shrinking back away from the communicator, before he steels himself, puts his game face on (yes, it's recording the whole time), and hisses out in an aggressive whisper-- like he doesn't want people to overhear this convo???-- ]

They're my house flip flops, man! It's not like I packed them for this grand fucking occasion!

[ 'House flip flops.' As in he has multiple flip flops for different occasions. ]

[enveloped]

[Cam raises his brows, innocent, because he has never bullied anyone a day in his life, and he is perfect in every way.]

Oh. Pardon me. Your house flip-flops. I'm sorry.

Your outdoor flip-flops must be incredibly classy. Are they Gucci? Or are those your formal flip-flops?

text; UN: wingingit

[volitaunt]

Buddy, you really need to stop asking for things on networks. This is how you ended up with a cursed side table and a bloody mattress.

[bardish]

[ Oh no, Jeff doesn't remember you, Poe, so this reference goes FLYING RIGHT OVER HIS HEAD. ]

wait hang on

rewind??

please tell me more about this cursed side table and bloody mattress

[volitaunt]

you

in riverview

you don't remember

video; un: cabernet

[redwinekindofgirl]

[Right, she can't help with the shoes thing (Julie is 5'5" and built like a bird, there's no chance of help here), but one question really does beg the asking when she's finished listening to this guy.]

Uh... hey, dude. Are you okay?

[She feels like he is definitely not okay.]

[bardish]

Oh yeah, I'm okay! Fine-- I'm fine, totally, totally fine, there's nothing wrong here.

[ He smiles unconvincingly. Nods even more unconvincingly. Keeps it up for a couple of beats, before he exhales, shoulders sagging, and rubs the side of his neck. ]

Okay, that's a lie, but I think it might be for the best if I just keep lying to myself and others, because if I keep talking, I'll start to panic, and if I start to panic, I can't guarantee that I won't throw up or cry or maybe do both at once, and I don't think anybody needs to see that, because it would be the worst first impression to have here, so. Um. In conclusion, I'm fine!

[redwinekindofgirl]

[He lies, and her brows raise. It isn't even a particularly good lie.


Not convincing at all.]

Okay... but you know, like, half this place is freaking the fuck out anyway? So no one's gonna think you're some kind of freak if you lose your mind over this shit for a few hours. [Julie smiles, shrugs.]

I already did my 'find a room and scream at the walls for thirty minutes' thing. It's cathartic.

video; UN: s.desc

[postpartor]

[ There's bright-eyed wickedness on Shannon's face as she replies to Jeff. ]

So you're the reason I can't wear flip flops to work any more.

[bardish]

[ SHANNON, NO. You're like a cat having way too much fun with a hapless mouse. ]

...I am?

Uh.

[ Tentatively: ] Whaaaat... line of work are you in?

[ WERE FLIP FLOPS EVER ALLOWED IN ANY WORK PLACE? Outside of the Santa Monica Pier, anyway. Or surf shops... Head shops... ]

[postpartor]

HR. [She bats her eyelashes at him.]

Video; UN: Spides

[itsnotaonesie]

[Oh thank God, a bigger walking disaster than Peter. I mean, the dude seems to be on the verge of a massive freak out, which sucks. But still.]

I don't wear 10's and I don't have spares, but. I mean, this place used to be inhabited, right? There's a pretty good chance that someone could have left some shoes sitting around.

[bardish]

[ TO BE FAIR... Jeff also has massive freak outs when he runs out of eggs or misplaces his keys. So yeah, he's definitely a walking disaster.

BUT. Peter's a teenager, and Jeff's a teacher of teenagers, so watch as he makes a concerted effort to reign in his terror! ]

I feel... like... there's a very good chance that any shoes lying around might belong to somebody who died... Which means I'd be putting on a dead man's shoes, which is just asking for trouble! I mean-- it's not that I'm totally superstitious or anything, but that seems like one of those things that's guaranteed to stir up something, like a creepy antique mirror or a weird little doll or--

[ So that concerted effort didn't amount to a whole lot, oops. ]

[itsnotaonesie]

[here's your gold star, Jeff. Good effort!

Yeah Peter's going to try to maybe help this guy calm down with LOGIC.]

Okay... okay, let's break this situation down a bit. We don't actually know that the people that were here before us all died. Have you seen any bodies? I definitely haven't. If they'd died, we'd have found remains by now. With that in mind, I think it's safer to assume that the people who were here before left somehow, or were taken somewhere. The likelihood that they're coming back is pretty slim. We're already living in the rooms they used to live in, I say anything else they left behind is up for grabs. I'm sure there are no haunted dolls or possessed mirrors or cursed shoes. Just stuff that's sitting around going to waste.

Voice @KaballsDeep

[kaballin]

Dibs on the rest of your shit when you have a fucking aneurysm.

video because he won't change functions!!

[bardish]

[ GASP. ] You do not get to call dibs at a time like this!

video; un: acri

[deadlycurves]

[Jesus, someone get this guy some Xanax. Diego is generally not about that self-medicating kind of life, too many years of watching what exactly that has done to his brother make it border impossible behavior for him to condone, but jesusfuck, this guy clearly needs something.]

Why do you even own flip-flops? They're the least practical type of shoe known to man. [And he's apparently not really going to help the guy out, either. Whatever. He's got enough more help-tilted responses on here already anyway.]

[bardish]

[ The good news is: Jeff totally has something that could help with his insane levels of anxiety right now! The bad news: he has a very, very limited supply and it'll run out fast if he doesn't ration it... ]

Okay, wow, no! Flip flops are so practical. Like if you need to step into your garage for a second but you don't want your feet to get cold on the concrete! Or if you need to take the trash out! Or if you need to put your daughter's laundry back in her room and she's recently picked up sewing as a Talent and there are little sewing pins that get in the carpet and you don't want to step on any of them! [ Apparently, defending flip flops is enough to distract him from his panic?? ]