Text; SmexySmuppets69

[eatdavesbabies]

so with recent events - recent events i.e. my ass getting teleported to this hellscape straight out of every piece of 90s dystopia fiction - i find myself asking the important questions. I need to get my ass some serious intel.

what's the best 80s-90s Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?

shit like jingle all the way can auto get fucked.

Comments

text; @Spides

[itsnotaonesie]

Last Action Hero. I will fistfight anyone who says otherwise.

[eatdavesbabies]

okay. you need to do the leg work on this one.

justify it for me.

[itsnotaonesie]

I'll do my best, I haven't seen it since I was like six.

so it's kind of a movie within a movie. There's this kid who loves this action movie series, and Arnold plays the lead in that series, he's like a badass commando-cop sort of character. So the kid's watching one of the movies and then he gets sucked into it because some dude gives him a magic movie ticket, and he gets stuck in the movie with movie-Arnold and there's some explosions and stuff. Eventually the villain of the movie escapes into the 'real' world after he steals the ticket and they gotta go stop him and stuff. It plays up the old action movie tropes to a ridiculous level but like in a way that says 'yeah we know this shit is ridiculous'. I dunno, I thought it was funny.

Total Recall was good too, there was a lady with three boobs.
That's not why it was good, it's just. Y'know. Hard to forget the three boob'd lady.

@GothyGlam2003

[livingdeadgirl]

Can confirm, that's literally the only thing I remember about that movie

[eatdavesbabies]

so we all agree. that chick had rocking tatas.

all opposed to this judgment speak now.

[eatdavesbabies]

so i’m torn on last action hero.

it’s a great arnold movie, but that’s the thing: it can only be and is devised as an arnold movie. in order to even exist the language of both who arnold is as a star and the language of the roles and movies he played in had to be set already. they had to come first, to act as a rosetta stone so to speak.

on one hand this is a weakness. it’s a movie that exists, and only could, in a specific time period under certain circumstances and only in a culture that knows who arnold schwarzenegger is to fully get the joke of it. the merits of such a limited joke are up for some debate, since its entire strength is its derivative.

but that’s also the incredible power of it. it’s this flash of fucked up insane action culture and if you know it it’s brilliant. it’s not simply derivative, like tarantino’s flicks are, it’s also self-referential. it is a movie fully aware of itself and the culture around it. it’s stupid shit, but it’s brilliant stupid shit due to its own hyper awareness.