Text; SmexySmuppets69

[eatdavesbabies]

so with recent events - recent events i.e. my ass getting teleported to this hellscape straight out of every piece of 90s dystopia fiction - i find myself asking the important questions. I need to get my ass some serious intel.

what's the best 80s-90s Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?

shit like jingle all the way can auto get fucked.

Comments

text; @GothyGlam2003

[livingdeadgirl]

You are correct, this is absolutely critical information for life in Anchor. (Speaking of which welcome to Anchor!)

Personally I have to go with T2 overall. Predator is a close second but the T-1000 is easily the superior monster

[eatdavesbabies]

glad to be here. second stop on my pandimensional tour of universal shithouses.

solid choices. predictable, but solid. agreed in regards to monsters. getting fucked up by something of your own design is always more frightening than getting your ass handed to you by the alien.

[livingdeadgirl]

Second, huh? This isn't the first stop for a bunch of people actually! What was your first one?

That is a good reason but I think it bears pointing out, John Connor didn't create the Terminators? (Unless you are talking about humanity getting messed up by Skynet.) What I meant was, you know, with Predator at least you know where you stand. Sure they're hunting you for sport but they follow certain rules, they have a code. Terminators don't have that. And the T-1000 in particular can blend in with ordinary people. The scariest monsters are the ones who look just like anybody else.

[eatdavesbabies]

it was this lovely little aquatic spot, living it up dome style. maybe it was space. the place was hackeneyed and cliche enough i stopped giving a shit from the word go.

i’m talking humanity as a whole. getting our asses kicked to the curb each and every sunday by our own machinations is kind of our thing.

terminators have a code. its nihilistic as fuck and unbending, but it is a code.

i should probably actually watch the movies one of these days

[livingdeadgirl]

Oh ok, neat. That sounds like the same place Dave was talking about, do you know him?

[ She suspects the answer is Very Yes, since she has not met a lot of people who type in this particular shade of Creamsicle Orange. But nowadays she's trying to keep it on the DL when she thinks she recognizes somebody, after a few too many incidents where the other person didn't recognize her... ]

Unfortunately I think I will need to rewatch the movie before I can engage in any Terminator deep dives?
So I'm gonna take a rain check on that if you dont mind
Whats your name btw? I'm Ami

@KaballsDeep

[kaballin]

Gonna have to go with Conan or Terminator 2. Stickin with the classics and all.

[eatdavesbabies]

we have a winner.

Conan is bar none Arnold's best film from the time. a reel of that film should be bronzed and placed on a cinematic altar.

[kaballin]

Fuck yeah. I'll take my prize money now.

In lieu of that I guess we could project the movie 500 feet tall on the side of the dome. I dunno how we could hook the sound up, but there's a projector somewhere I saw recently.

[eatdavesbabies]

oh yeah?

take me to that bad boy. i’ll get its ass running.

[kaballin]

It's on the third floor by the couches pointed at a wall. But I think we can make some upgrades.

[eatdavesbabies]

sounds good to me. we'll have the fucker up and spinning movie magic in no time. not like there's anything more important around here.

[kaballin]

Right? I dunno what the fuck people are doing all the time. Especially when they could be watching giant movies for free.

What we gonna do for sound? I dunno if there's a loudspeaker but this place looks like a fucking mall so maybe..

text; @Spides

[itsnotaonesie]

Last Action Hero. I will fistfight anyone who says otherwise.

[eatdavesbabies]

okay. you need to do the leg work on this one.

justify it for me.

[itsnotaonesie]

I'll do my best, I haven't seen it since I was like six.

so it's kind of a movie within a movie. There's this kid who loves this action movie series, and Arnold plays the lead in that series, he's like a badass commando-cop sort of character. So the kid's watching one of the movies and then he gets sucked into it because some dude gives him a magic movie ticket, and he gets stuck in the movie with movie-Arnold and there's some explosions and stuff. Eventually the villain of the movie escapes into the 'real' world after he steals the ticket and they gotta go stop him and stuff. It plays up the old action movie tropes to a ridiculous level but like in a way that says 'yeah we know this shit is ridiculous'. I dunno, I thought it was funny.

Total Recall was good too, there was a lady with three boobs.
That's not why it was good, it's just. Y'know. Hard to forget the three boob'd lady.

@GothyGlam2003

[livingdeadgirl]

Can confirm, that's literally the only thing I remember about that movie

[eatdavesbabies]

so we all agree. that chick had rocking tatas.

all opposed to this judgment speak now.

[eatdavesbabies]

so i’m torn on last action hero.

it’s a great arnold movie, but that’s the thing: it can only be and is devised as an arnold movie. in order to even exist the language of both who arnold is as a star and the language of the roles and movies he played in had to be set already. they had to come first, to act as a rosetta stone so to speak.

on one hand this is a weakness. it’s a movie that exists, and only could, in a specific time period under certain circumstances and only in a culture that knows who arnold schwarzenegger is to fully get the joke of it. the merits of such a limited joke are up for some debate, since its entire strength is its derivative.

but that’s also the incredible power of it. it’s this flash of fucked up insane action culture and if you know it it’s brilliant. it’s not simply derivative, like tarantino’s flicks are, it’s also self-referential. it is a movie fully aware of itself and the culture around it. it’s stupid shit, but it’s brilliant stupid shit due to its own hyper awareness.

text; @starscream

[vosseeker]

[ He has no idea what is being asked here. He does know what a movie is, but human media is Knock Out's thing, not his. Maybe he can figure this out with some questions... ]

How is this relevant?

[eatdavesbabies]

not an arnold movie.

not a good start to this bro.

[vosseeker]

It wasn't a guess, it was a clarification!

[eatdavesbabies]

need to know the kind of people i'm dealing with man. i can't just go around associating and hobnobbing with every jack jane and joe. have to make sure my contacts are on the up and up.

[vosseeker]

... By asking about movies.

[ If you thought it was impossible to hear skepticism through text, that was just proven false. ]