text, un: yourstruly.

[floozie]

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years of experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

Comments

[floozie]

That too? Sure, you can show me in a second.

Where are you?😄

[fessus]

Cyberspace, you found me

So you're gonna want to set up the camera a little bit away from you, prop it up on something? That way you can be hands free when you use the spell or magic or w/e

[floozie]

What is with you people and not knowing how to decline a request?

[fessus]

LMAO okay okay, I'm just messing with you.

Do you know where they keep the cars up on the top level?

[floozie]

Sure you are, cyberspace.

I hear top level and know to go upstairs, so at least I have a bearing. I'll follow the signs the rest of the way.

[fessus]

Yeah all the ones that aren't scratched or shot up lol, this place could use a serious makeover.

Anyway that's where I am, there's a cool garden down one level too but it's full of monsters so

[floozie]

Oh yeah, for a minute there I forgot this place was a total dump.

If there's a bunch of monsters, isn't that the perfect place to show off? We could clear them out of there.

[fessus]

I guess? I mean if you aren't just going to light them up in the totally normal lamp kind of way.

It's a pretty big area though, might take a while. Not that I'm saying I can't handle it 🗡 [ Not once does Noctis address the fact that the area is clearly labeled as "Lab" and "Livestock" throughout, because he either didn't notice or isn't very bright. Both are strong contenders. ]

[floozie]

(you'll starve us all)

Your way was more prudent because I don't have any totally normal lamp kind of spells. Most of mine are offensive.🔥🔥🔥

I don't have anything better to do, do you?

[fessus]

[ IT'S NOT MY FAULT ]

Ig not unless you count sleeping and messing around with these cars. Kinda wondering if I can take one out for a spin but it looks pretty rough out there idk

Want me to meet you downstairs instead?

[floozie]

I don't know what a car is, so I can't say for sure.

Do that, though. Saves me from having to walk all that way and downhill will be so much easier for you. I'll write you again when I'm somewhere with an obvious landmark.👋

(he thinks he can't walk and text at the same time)

[fessus]

Wow okay first of all I'm not making fun of you, js that you sound like a grandpa when you say write instead of text. And you can text while you're on the move too but w/e you're into

Second we're definitely checking out the cars after so I can educate you. They're not half bad. [ That means they're awesome. ]

[floozie]

(... lifts the communicator higher while he's walking so the energy that powers them can find his. is he supposed to use his mana as well? how do they operate without it? it's one of life's great mysteries...)

You can make fun of me all you want, I'm used to it. Calling me a grandpa because I don't know what they use instead of magitechnology is fair, but I'm a quick learner. Feel free to regale me with explanation after explanation!❤️

The cars can be a surprise though. Or I can guess what they do in 20 questions.

(look at him go, texting on the go. soon he'll be indistinguishable from a millennial.)

[fessus]

Ftr I said you SOUND like a grandpa, didn't technically call you one so I think I get a pass. And I can do that but only if you explain magitechnology to me, sound fair?

[ Suddenly he's glad that this is over text. It allows him to hide his instinctive distaste upon reading that word, one that brings with it some very unpleasant associations. Zelos isn't from Niflheim or even Eos at all, and remembering that is all that keeps his response calm. ]

20 questions like that yes or no game? Okay shoot, big shot

[floozie]

Sure, ig I don't mind. It's a lot to text so I'll tell you when we meet up.

You said you were going to take one for a spin, so do you sit on it?

[fessus]

Sounds good, and don't think I'm missing all the text speak too, gj (good job) 👍🏻

Yes

[floozie]

(FLUFFS HIS HAIR IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE COMPLIMENTS)

There are so many to remember, but it if means something so simple takes less time and effort? I'm there.

It is a machine? Does it fly?

[fessus]

That's what I'm saying

Uhhh yes and then no. [ Unless it's a very souped up Regalia but. ]

[floozie]

No aerial transportation, then.

Is that what they are? A form of transportation?

[fessus]

✅

[floozie]

Damn, I'm good. I wish you could fly it, though.

I'm smelling something rank up here, is that the monsters? There's goo all over the floor!

[fessus]

Idk if that really counts as you having figured it out js.

Check your hair, smell that and see if it's it lol. Jk, the smell gets worse when you get near the fields and stuff but who knows why. Maybe it's that?

1/4

[floozie]

(hop-hops to keep away from it. you never know when's something'll poison ya.)

It totally does. I can keep guessing, but it's kind of pointless if I've never seen one. I'm picturing some kind of carriage, though.

Unless it's a boat.

2/4

[floozie]

3/4

[floozie]

No way, from what I saw in that introduction video, there was no water at all outside of Anchor.

It has to be a mechanical carriage.