text, un: yourstruly.

[floozie]

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years of experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

Comments

[floozie]

You're not that fat, LMAO.😂

I believe it. Is that what you used in the decontamination room? Magic?

[fessus]

I'm not fat at all, I'm toned. 💪

Yeah, didn't really want to but my hands were tied. You said you were going to do something too though.

[floozie]

You don't have to tell me, man. I got the whole picture.

I was, but your way was more prudent at the time. That's why I let you go first.

[fessus]

Glad you agree but also it'd be cool if we forgot that that happened.

Lol thanks, happy to help. What was your backup plan?

[floozie]

A spell that'd brighten up the room, obviously.✨

And why should I? Just because you were embarrassed doesn't mean I was. I thought it was pretty funny.

[fessus]

Yeah I'm prying about what kind of magic that is, am I being too subtle? my bad

Ignoringgggg

[floozie]

Why don't I show you?

[fessus]

[ ... ]

You wanna show me all your magic? 😮

[floozie]

No, I want to hang out.

[fessus]

Can those two things not be mutually exclusive, it sounds cool....

[floozie]

I've never turned a fan down before and I won't stop now.

(don't stroke his ego, he's a show-off)

ig I can show you the one I was going to use.

[fessus]

Cool. Need me to tell you how the video function works and stuff?

[ THIS ISN'T HANGING OUT ]

[floozie]

That too? Sure, you can show me in a second.

Where are you?😄

[fessus]

Cyberspace, you found me

So you're gonna want to set up the camera a little bit away from you, prop it up on something? That way you can be hands free when you use the spell or magic or w/e

[floozie]

What is with you people and not knowing how to decline a request?

[fessus]

LMAO okay okay, I'm just messing with you.

Do you know where they keep the cars up on the top level?

[floozie]

Sure you are, cyberspace.

I hear top level and know to go upstairs, so at least I have a bearing. I'll follow the signs the rest of the way.

[fessus]

Yeah all the ones that aren't scratched or shot up lol, this place could use a serious makeover.

Anyway that's where I am, there's a cool garden down one level too but it's full of monsters so

[floozie]

Oh yeah, for a minute there I forgot this place was a total dump.

If there's a bunch of monsters, isn't that the perfect place to show off? We could clear them out of there.

[fessus]

I guess? I mean if you aren't just going to light them up in the totally normal lamp kind of way.

It's a pretty big area though, might take a while. Not that I'm saying I can't handle it 🗡 [ Not once does Noctis address the fact that the area is clearly labeled as "Lab" and "Livestock" throughout, because he either didn't notice or isn't very bright. Both are strong contenders. ]

[floozie]

(you'll starve us all)

Your way was more prudent because I don't have any totally normal lamp kind of spells. Most of mine are offensive.🔥🔥🔥

I don't have anything better to do, do you?

[fessus]

[ IT'S NOT MY FAULT ]

Ig not unless you count sleeping and messing around with these cars. Kinda wondering if I can take one out for a spin but it looks pretty rough out there idk

Want me to meet you downstairs instead?

[floozie]

I don't know what a car is, so I can't say for sure.

Do that, though. Saves me from having to walk all that way and downhill will be so much easier for you. I'll write you again when I'm somewhere with an obvious landmark.👋

(he thinks he can't walk and text at the same time)

[fessus]

Wow okay first of all I'm not making fun of you, js that you sound like a grandpa when you say write instead of text. And you can text while you're on the move too but w/e you're into

Second we're definitely checking out the cars after so I can educate you. They're not half bad. [ That means they're awesome. ]

[floozie]

(... lifts the communicator higher while he's walking so the energy that powers them can find his. is he supposed to use his mana as well? how do they operate without it? it's one of life's great mysteries...)

You can make fun of me all you want, I'm used to it. Calling me a grandpa because I don't know what they use instead of magitechnology is fair, but I'm a quick learner. Feel free to regale me with explanation after explanation!❤️

The cars can be a surprise though. Or I can guess what they do in 20 questions.

(look at him go, texting on the go. soon he'll be indistinguishable from a millennial.)