text, un: yourstruly.

[floozie]

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years of experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

Comments

[floozie]

You call me weird for liking girls then go on to say something as lame as that? Right after?

You're the weird one. Zombies aren't cool, they're gross.

[fessus]

It doesn't matter if it's lame, the point is we should probably have priorities. That's all.

And it's not that zombies are cool, it's the emoji that's cool. No one likes dealing with stuff like that irl

[floozie]

Why don't you worry about your own priorities and leave me out of them? I just want to lie back and relax while everyone else figures this place out.

I've been typing other monsters in, but nothing's coming up. Egg bear cockatrice golem

See? How do you know which ones turn into pictures?

[fessus]

Obv that's what everyone wants to do, that's what I want to do too, but it feels like all hands on deck. At least work on it half the time, don't be a dick.

[ Ugh, he wants a nap. ]

There's no cockatrice? Wtf? idk maybe that's not a thing on this keyboard fsr

[floozie]

Whatever you say, but I think it's obvious I'm not going to.👍

I don't know, I'm trying to think of some boring animal that might be included. I can do an egg bear in two separate emojis, though. Check this out.🥚🐻

[fessus]

W/e I'll just keep bugging you until something changes, I bet I can be half as annoying as you.

[ It's ON ]

Haha good one, even if I have no idea what an eggbear is supposed to be if it's not literally that thing. But seriously there's not even chocobos on here. My old phone had at least 3?? Weird

1/2

[floozie]

Of that I have no doubt.

(JUST AGREES)

2/2

[floozie]

It's this stupid, ugly monster with a lame main move. It traps you against its chest and squeezes you.🙄 They aren't even strong, just ungainly and annoying.

What's a chocobo? Is it some kind of chocolate?

[fessus]

Ugh that sounds so annoying...... That's like when iron giants use their magnetic pull move and then slam you with a sword, it'd be w/e if they didn't spam it but it's hard to recover. Not that it's anything I can't handle though. [ talks about his own life like it's a video game, ultimate meta ]

You don't have them? 😨 lmao wtf that's messed up

They're birds, bigger than people so you can ride them. They're pretty cool ngl.....

[floozie]

Clearly, if you're here and they're not. The big boys always insist on getting in the way.

(there must've been a better way to word that.)

I can't imagine riding an oversized bird. Aren't their bones too brittle for that sort of thing?

[fessus]

Ugh

[floozie]

Is that a yes or no?

[fessus]

idk you saying big boys felt really wrong somehow, plus ugh at the thought of me sitting on a chocobo and breaking all its bones or something, like I'd do that.

They're super tough believe it or not. I've heard some of them can use some pretty crazy magic but I've only seen little stuff. They definitely kick pretty hard.

[floozie]

You're not that fat, LMAO.😂

I believe it. Is that what you used in the decontamination room? Magic?

[fessus]

I'm not fat at all, I'm toned. 💪

Yeah, didn't really want to but my hands were tied. You said you were going to do something too though.

[floozie]

You don't have to tell me, man. I got the whole picture.

I was, but your way was more prudent at the time. That's why I let you go first.

[fessus]

Glad you agree but also it'd be cool if we forgot that that happened.

Lol thanks, happy to help. What was your backup plan?

[floozie]

A spell that'd brighten up the room, obviously.✨

And why should I? Just because you were embarrassed doesn't mean I was. I thought it was pretty funny.

[fessus]

Yeah I'm prying about what kind of magic that is, am I being too subtle? my bad

Ignoringgggg

[floozie]

Why don't I show you?

[fessus]

[ ... ]

You wanna show me all your magic? 😮

[floozie]

No, I want to hang out.

[fessus]

Can those two things not be mutually exclusive, it sounds cool....

[floozie]

I've never turned a fan down before and I won't stop now.

(don't stroke his ego, he's a show-off)

ig I can show you the one I was going to use.

[fessus]

Cool. Need me to tell you how the video function works and stuff?

[ THIS ISN'T HANGING OUT ]