// video; open

[circumspector]

[ Angel's feature's flicker onto the screen, black-eyed, black hair, those strange blue markings that adorn her body down her left side and right horn, that telltale hint of fur that appears across her shoulders, her neck, collar-like. Decidedly, completely, not human. ]

Hi. There has never been an easy way to have this conversation so I am just going to jump into it. I'm a monster. [ Her long ears flick, pricking to sound, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Her thick, black claws that come to flat ends tap against her cheek. ] It's a long, long story. But the sum of it is pretty straight forward, there was a God. She took people like this place takes people, she turned us into things. I became this. I wasn't always this, nor was I chosen for any grand reason. But now I am capable of smashing through concrete with one kick, I can lift ten or twelves my own weight, and I weight a lot, despite my size.

But that and the horns isn't why I call myself a monster. I'm a monster because I crave human flesh. I can and have eaten living people. I didn't get a choice about it. I can sate it when things are good. Raw meat of animals will do the trick. But, if I put it off any meat at all long enough, the hunger becomes ravenous, and I get taken over by this... this rage and hunger. I might - care for you, want happy things for you. But when I am like that? I'm not your friend. I'm not human. I'm not... not me. I can manage it, but this place just wiped my memories for a few days, so I can't make that assurance it will never happen.

So this is my permission. The day that happens, and you can't trap me or stop me, you can put a bullet in my head. I won't cling selfishly to a life where I am hurting someone to fuel myself. I'll only regret it when I come out of it. If it's me or someone else, I'll always pick for someone else to live over me hurting someone just because I am like... this.

[ She clears her throat, because what else is there to really say? So just... ]

... Do you think Tequila is bad for the Reindire? I keep feeding them mine.

[ #nailedit ]

Comments

[redwinekindofgirl]

Comforting.

[Not.

Good information to have, though. Information she could have done without knowing, but when someone is telling you that they could turn on you if they get too hungry, more is better.]

Any weak spots?

[circumspector]

Loud high pitched noises. They confuse me. But it's dangerous. Like a raging skag in a demolitions shop. I'm desorientated, but I'm no less powerful, just angrier and prone to thrashing around uncontrollably.

[redwinekindofgirl]

Hmn. Okay, so use that as a last resort.

[Better to take someone down quickly, with as little damage as possible. Though, really... Julie would prefer to not kill anyone at all.]

What about tranquillisers?

[circumspector]

[ She hums a second, thinking. ]

They ought to do it. You should need four of a mid class tranquiliser suitable for ah, well I'd say what you call horses? My muscle density is high, I weigh about twice what I look like I should, and I have a increased healing regeneration ability. So it needs to be done quick and fast.

[redwinekindofgirl]

Uhhh, you mean like ketamine? Xylazine?

[Julie is no veterinarian. Better to not know how she summons those names so easily to mind.]

... This is gonna sound weird, probably, but could we test something and make sure it works?

[circumspector]

Sure, that's a really good idea. I'll just need to organise a couple of people to make sure I don't hurt anyone just in case, but we can do that.

[redwinekindofgirl]

[Oh, wow, okay, she wasn't actually expecting the idea to take.]

I mean, I'm not saying we should hunt you down or anything. We could use the medibay.

[circumspector]

[ She freezes. ]

No, I'd rather not. I'd rather be... be somewhere quiet away from people. With a friend.

Bad time with doctors, that sort of thing.

[redwinekindofgirl]

[And Julie doesn't even pause before she nods.]

Yeah. No worries. I can get some shit from there for it, though, yeah?

[circumspector]

That's fine. It's just the white wall and doctors thing you know?

[redwinekindofgirl]

Yeah, I get it. I'll get the stuff and we can try it out whenever you want.

[circumspector]

Sure. Give me a couple of days, we just need to get settled, and I'll find somewhere comfortable for my uhm. Let's call it my animal brain?

[redwinekindofgirl]

[A nod.]

Mhm, sure, take your time.