Deputy Pratt (
theweakhavepurpose) wrote in
redshiftrp2019-09-07 04:44 pm
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Video @Pratt
[The video opens with a idyllic shot of horses grazing in a pasture with a barn in the background. Well idyllic if you discount the fact that they're clearly on the agriculture level of Beacon, one of the horses is glowing and the other is Branwen and that some of the other animals in the paddock are mutated deer. It's about as close to scenic as this place gets.]
Kieran and I have been working on getting a ranch going up here. Cho's been doing tests on the deer and they're good to eat so I'm gonna try and get a little herd going. But then over here...
[The camera pans to some cleared areas nearby with the smoothness of someone who has used their phone to film hundreds of Vine videos back home.]
I thought we could start some sort of farm? I've grown tomatoes before but I don't know anything about farming, I'm more the livestock sort. So if anyone wants to work on this, you're more than welcome.
Actually if anyone wants to help with any of this feel free. But don't try to pet the deer. They're not friendly.
Kieran and I have been working on getting a ranch going up here. Cho's been doing tests on the deer and they're good to eat so I'm gonna try and get a little herd going. But then over here...
[The camera pans to some cleared areas nearby with the smoothness of someone who has used their phone to film hundreds of Vine videos back home.]
I thought we could start some sort of farm? I've grown tomatoes before but I don't know anything about farming, I'm more the livestock sort. So if anyone wants to work on this, you're more than welcome.
Actually if anyone wants to help with any of this feel free. But don't try to pet the deer. They're not friendly.
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If there's drip tubing I dunno what it would be connected to. What am I looking for?
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[There's a thrilling video of him walking to the little shed thing next to the barn and he turns the camera on a ton of pipes and rusted out junk and stuff that looks about a million years old.]
Any of that look right?
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Well, none of it looks functional. Hard to say from here. Tell you what, I'll drop by in the next few days and give the place a once-over.
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Or worse find out this is the propane line or something.
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[ and Kieran will be bringing him by in the next day or so! ]
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I'll let you know what I find. But I bet if there's a control room it'll be all busted up like the other ones around here.
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For me, it is.
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[ And he's an insufferable pedant, too! What do you know. ]
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Also those things are about seven hundred dollars.
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... All right, well, I've learned something new today. Sorry about that.
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All good. I don't think Amazon advertises that they don't deliver to the middle of nowhere. It would be bad for their image. Until they make those drones that will drop your package directly into a well or a cow pie.
I could probably get a roomba here though...
1/3
He pauses to think about that for a second, though. He certainly could get one here, once the manufacturing zone is up and running properly, but... hmm. Qubit's still testing the new limitations on his powers at this point, but... surely a roomba wouldn't be that big a deal, right? Compared to the machines he normally works with, it's not that complicated at all.
Yeah. Yeah, he could probably make a roomba. He smirks into the camera, holds up his index finger for a second. ]
Maybe so. Hold that thought.
2/3
Then the ceiling again.
And a moment later, somebody picks up the comm and the video abruptly cuts out. ]
3/3 ; text
Sorry to hang up on you like that. Didn't quite go as planned. Roomba seems to be in working order though. I don't have drone delivery so you'll have to pop by the lab and pick it up. Thanks.
[ Yeah he may have given himself a huge migraine accidentally. Again. This has to stop. ]
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[He watches as the camera changes to a thrilling view of the ceiling, and there's some flashes but without sound he has no idea what's going on.]
You made a roomba? What was all the flashing?
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Okay. Sure. That's a thing that might as well happen.
So if I come by the lab I get a free Roomba? I'll be there in 10.
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[ UGH it does mean Pratt's going to meet him for the first time when he's unpleasant and in pain, which is not how he'd have preferred it, but... he fucked himself up to give the man a Roomba, they might as well put the damn thing to work as soon as possible. ]
Action!
Hello?
[One deputy + wolf reporting for Roomba duty.]
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(Noticeably absent is the charging dock.)
He doesn't initially notice Princess Thug, though, because he is having major trouble un-squinting his eyes right now. Was this hallway always this damn bright? That can't be energy-efficient.
He clears his throat. ] Mr. Pratt, I presume.
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[Momentary pause where he realizes that he doesn't know what this guys name is, he only knows his user name. Is Qubit his name? That doesn't sound like a name, maybe it's a name. Time to not say anything and pretend he totally knows.]
Okay that's pretty cool.
[He doesn't notice the charging dock thing because he's never seen a Roomba IRL before. Maybe it runs off batteries or magic or by eating dirt, he doesn't know.]
Thanks. You didn't have to do that.
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