redshiftrp | Video @Pratt

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Video @Pratt

[The video opens with a idyllic shot of horses grazing in a pasture with a barn in the background. Well idyllic if you discount the fact that they're clearly on the agriculture level of Beacon, one of the horses is glowing and the other is Branwen and that some of the other animals in the paddock are mutated deer. It's about as close to scenic as this place gets.]

Kieran and I have been working on getting a ranch going up here. Cho's been doing tests on the deer and they're good to eat so I'm gonna try and get a little herd going. But then over here...

[The camera pans to some cleared areas nearby with the smoothness of someone who has used their phone to film hundreds of Vine videos back home.]

I thought we could start some sort of farm? I've grown tomatoes before but I don't know anything about farming, I'm more the livestock sort. So if anyone wants to work on this, you're more than welcome.

Actually if anyone wants to help with any of this feel free. But don't try to pet the deer. They're not friendly.

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... Amazon does ship to Montana, you know. There's no state ban on Roombas that I'm aware of. I get what you're saying, but those two points are in no way related.

[ And he's an insufferable pedant, too! What do you know. ]

Spoken like someone who's never been outside a city in their entire life. Amazon doesn't deliver anywhere more than thirty miles from a post office because USPS won't carry it. You know how much of Montana that is? Probably half of it.

Also those things are about seven hundred dollars.

[ Qubit's visibly surprised - he actually didn't know that. It's not that he's a hopeless city-slicker, but he's never lived anywhere as rural as Montana, and he doesn't shop with Amazon for a variety of reasons. And because he can build all his own household gadgets for free out of literal garbage, his finger is not exactly on the pulse of what these things cost to consumers. ]

... All right, well, I've learned something new today. Sorry about that.

[Pratt shrugs, he's used to it. Country boy can't make it in the big city. Or the space station apparently.]

All good. I don't think Amazon advertises that they don't deliver to the middle of nowhere. It would be bad for their image. Until they make those drones that will drop your package directly into a well or a cow pie.

I could probably get a roomba here though...

[ Snerk. I think Qubit may be a few years early to know about Amazon drones, but it's a funny mental image.

He pauses to think about that for a second, though. He certainly could get one here, once the manufacturing zone is up and running properly, but... hmm. Qubit's still testing the new limitations on his powers at this point, but... surely a roomba wouldn't be that big a deal, right? Compared to the machines he normally works with, it's not that complicated at all.

Yeah. Yeah, he could probably make a roomba. He smirks into the camera, holds up his index finger for a second. ]

Maybe so. Hold that thought.

[ He mutes the audio and sets the comm down so it's pointed at the ceiling. At first it's unclear whether anything's happening, but then there's a flash of brilliant greenish light from offscreen that lasts a few seconds.

Then the ceiling again.

And a moment later, somebody picks up the comm and the video abruptly cuts out. ]

[ A few seconds after that, though, Pratt will be getting a text. ]

Sorry to hang up on you like that. Didn't quite go as planned. Roomba seems to be in working order though. I don't have drone delivery so you'll have to pop by the lab and pick it up. Thanks.

[ Yeah he may have given himself a huge migraine accidentally. Again. This has to stop. ]

Uh.. hello?

[He watches as the camera changes to a thrilling view of the ceiling, and there's some flashes but without sound he has no idea what's going on.]

You made a roomba? What was all the flashing?

I'm technokinetic. Power to reshape machines.

That's...

Okay. Sure. That's a thing that might as well happen.

So if I come by the lab I get a free Roomba? I'll be there in 10.

That'll work.

[ UGH it does mean Pratt's going to meet him for the first time when he's unpleasant and in pain, which is not how he'd have preferred it, but... he fucked himself up to give the man a Roomba, they might as well put the damn thing to work as soon as possible. ]

[Pratt has no idea that Qubit fried his brain to make him a roomba, so he'll just head down now, Princess Thug in tow. It takes him a while because he doesn't really remember where the lab is. ]

Hello?

[One deputy + wolf reporting for Roomba duty.]

[ It's enough time for Qubit to pop a couple of headache pills, buuut not enough for them to start kicking in, sadly. In general he keeps his lab door closed, so Pratt will have to knock or something, but Qubit answers it relatively promptly. In both hands he holds, as promised, one (1) Roomba!

(Noticeably absent is the charging dock.)

He doesn't initially notice Princess Thug, though, because he is having major trouble un-squinting his eyes right now. Was this hallway always this damn bright? That can't be energy-efficient.

He clears his throat. ] Mr. Pratt, I presume.

Yeah.

[Momentary pause where he realizes that he doesn't know what this guys name is, he only knows his user name. Is Qubit his name? That doesn't sound like a name, maybe it's a name. Time to not say anything and pretend he totally knows.]

Okay that's pretty cool.

[He doesn't notice the charging dock thing because he's never seen a Roomba IRL before. Maybe it runs off batteries or magic or by eating dirt, he doesn't know.]

Thanks. You didn't have to do that.

[ Yeah, he sure didn't have to! Which kinda makes it worse, in a way. Qubit just forces a tight-lipped smile as he hands off the Roomba to Pratt. ]

Don't mention it.

[ No, seriously, don't mention it. He's not in a hurry to make any more of these. Also it's about now that he notices they're not alone? Wow, how did he miss that, that is a large d- that's not a dog at all. ]

Is that a wolf? [ He's not scared per se, just startled. ]

[he's too distracted excitedly turning the thing over in his hands and staring at it. He's now officially the most technologically advanced person he knows back home. Suck on that Xander. Sure he has a Macbook, but Pratt has a Roomba.]

Yeah. PT. I didn't want to leave her up at the ranch because she just wants to chase the deer around and she's gonna get kicked in the face one of these days.

[ Huh. So you just... have a wolf. Okay. Not the strangest thing anyone's ever kept as a pet, I guess. He leans against the doorframe, folding his arms. ]

... Well. This should help with shedding season, at least. I had a couple of Great Pyrenees, last place I lived. Ended up with a whole fleet of these.

[ Although Komasan also sort of collected Roombas, so that was a contributing factor, too. ]

It's already a nightmare. I'm surprised the entire forest isn't felted with wolf fur twenty-four seven.

[He holds the Roomba out to Princess Thug for her to sniff. She doesn't seem terribly impressed.]

Thanks for this man. Also that you can make these things is super awesome.

[ Qubit halfheartedly waves off the thanks. It was much awesomer when he didn't have to fry his brain to do it. ]

I would... honestly rather you keep it on the quieter side, for the moment. How should I put this... [ He squeezes the bridge of his nose briefly. ] I'm subject to... certain limitations, here in Anchor, that I didn't have previously. So I can't make one of these for everyone.

Edited 2019-10-27 01:14 (UTC)

Keep it secret, keep it safe? I can do that.

[His secret roomba supplier.]

Thanks man. I'll let you get back to non-roomba related stuff.

[He needs to go to his room and vacuum immediately.]

You're welcome. See you around.

[ Meanwhile, Qubit will just... go wait for the meds to kick in! Fun times. ]

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Video @Pratt

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