video; @Qubit

[superposition]

[ Though Qubit generally prefers text, he's found that for whatever reason, people seem to think he's more sincere when he uses video. So he goes with that - you only get one first impression. ]

Good morning, Anchor. You may have noticed a grocery store, of all things, has appeared just outside the main airlock... Ah. I'm Qubit, by the way, should have led with that. Anyways, I've taken the liberty of scouting the place out, and I have good news and bad news.

Good news - near as I can tell, the food's still fresh. Bad news - that's more than I can say for the customers. If you do go, don't go alone, and be ready to defend yourself. It turns out the place has a bit of an undead problem.

[ He shrugs, as if to say "because of course it does." ]

On the plus side, the radiation levels are rather lower than I expected. I'd still recommend suiting up if you can, but you should be all right provided you don't - aah!!

[ As he was talking, something whirred in the background, and now a laser bolt hits the wall not a foot from his head. Startled, he drops the comm, but his voice can be heard receding in the background. ]

Son of a bi- [ the feed ends. ]

Comments

[kaballin]

Yeah but then I gotta wear pants.

[Though he supposes technically no one is forcing him to wear pants. Not like anyone would stop him from traipsing around totally naked. But that's beside the point.

He's not anticipating that the robot head he chopped off would come flying back, and especially that it would explode so while he does dart away, it's a little too late and he gets some shrapnel embedded in his jacket that he brushes off with a glare towards Qubit.]

Thanks for that. Real helpful.

[Except for it was and now Kabal is able to slice one of the turrets in half without getting riddled with bullets. He darts back and forth, sending the remaining robot spinning while he continues to take the turrets down piece by piece.]

[superposition]

[ Lol whoops. Qubit responds only with a dull sneer and an exaggerated shrug. Y'know, somehow he can't bring himself to be sorry? Nobody actually got hurt, and besides - I don't know if anyone's told you this yet, Kabal, but you're kind of a dick.

Anyway, it gave him an opening, didn't it? While Kabal's occupied with the turrets (and more importantly, while they're occupied with him), Qubit makes his way to the remaining robot and, with a wave of his hand, disconnects its power source.

And... I guess that's the last of them! Well, that solved their problem pretty handily. Qubit takes a second to straighten his lapels like the smug bastard he is. ]

And, scene.

[kaballin]

[The last piece of a turret goes flying and Kabal looks pretty proud of himself. Well it's hard to tell with half his face covered but he's definitely exuding overly cocky asshole right now.]

You're not a bad sidekick.

[Because obviously Kabal is the hero and main character of this little story.]

What'd you do to that one? Because if it turns back on and starts shooting you while I'm busy washing my hair you're gonna end up as a stain on the wall for the cleaning crew to tackle.

[superposition]

[ HA HA fuck you too buddy. Qubit just rolls his eyes. He could name a few people who'd happily choose that hill to die on, but he's not one of them. Because he is a mature adult. ]

Funny, I wouldn't have pegged you as the "personal hygiene" type.

[ ... Most of the time. Anyway, he gives the robot a friendly pat on the shoulder. ]

Not to worry, I've disconnected its power source. It won't be ambushing anyone in the showers for a while.

[kaballin]

[A mature adult sidekick.]

Now that's just hurtful.

[Doesn't he sound hurt? Anyway, he kicks the robot over for good measure because fuck these things.]

Why didn't you do that in the first place and then I wouldn't have to come up here and rescue you?

[superposition]

I told you, they were out of range of my powers. [ He does not precisely specify what that range is. ] But I suppose I should thank you for showing up. You have a name?

[kaballin]

Uh-huh. Sure they were.

[Or maybe you just wanted to be a damsel in distress Qubit.]

Kabal.