redshiftrp | video; @Qubit

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video; @Qubit

[ Though Qubit generally prefers text, he's found that for whatever reason, people seem to think he's more sincere when he uses video. So he goes with that - you only get one first impression. ]

Good morning, Anchor. You may have noticed a grocery store, of all things, has appeared just outside the main airlock... Ah. I'm Qubit, by the way, should have led with that. Anyways, I've taken the liberty of scouting the place out, and I have good news and bad news.

Good news - near as I can tell, the food's still fresh. Bad news - that's more than I can say for the customers. If you do go, don't go alone, and be ready to defend yourself. It turns out the place has a bit of an undead problem.

[ He shrugs, as if to say "because of course it does." ]

On the plus side, the radiation levels are rather lower than I expected. I'd still recommend suiting up if you can, but you should be all right provided you don't - aah!!

[ As he was talking, something whirred in the background, and now a laser bolt hits the wall not a foot from his head. Startled, he drops the comm, but his voice can be heard receding in the background. ]

Son of a bi- [ the feed ends. ]

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Guess that means the whole "but you should be all right" bit of that message was a lie huh?

[ a few minutes later, after he's recovered his comm. he seems a little mad! can't imagine why. ]

That thing was not active when I left!

Is that a laser?

Lasers. Plural. Looks like all the defense systems decided to come online, in fact. There're armed robots patrolling the whole level.

In the grocery store?

Why does the grocery store have armed robots with lasers?

Wh- [ another laser bolt hits nearby, making him duck ] Do I look like I'm in the grocery store, you addle-pated wood chipper?

[ He went and came back, and then got shot at. Obviously!! (But actually it's impossible to tell, he has not gotten a single good shot of the background this entire video.) ]

I dunno, maybe. Looks like you're about to die though. And me without any popcorn.

[If the wood chipper comment was supposed to be an insult he either doesn't get it, or he's ignoring it.]

Have you tried turning it off?

[ Qubit doesn't even bat an eye at the popcorn thing. Apparently, this is what passes for friendly banter with him. Is that sad? That's probably sad. ]

Of course I've tried that! But I'm pinned down, and they're out of my range. [ a few more muffled pew pews in the background. ] You can fight, can't you? If you've got time for all this jabbering, you've got time to get up here and help me.

[ Why Qubit thinks he would be remotely willing to do this is a mystery for the ages. ]

Sure I can. But I'm here and you're there. Real shame.

And I don't know where you are.

Also I don't care.

Oh that one was close. I give you about fifteen minutes before you get fried.

[ Qubit sneers and rolls his eyes. THEN FUCK YOU TOO, PAL. ]

Well, this has been productive. I feel right at home.

[ He doesn't gotta put up with this shit! And in fact he hangs up. ]

They should put me on the welcoming committee.

[He chuckles. Oh he likes you already. Alright, where's this guy at. He actually gets up and goes looking for him. ]

[ Qubit's up on the surface level, not far from the main airlock. He's taken cover by wedging himself into a doorway, but every time he pokes his head out to gauge the situation, he gets shot at. The turrets have not forgotten where he is, unfortunately.

There are about four of them trained on his location, and though he hasn't seen them yet, a couple of robots are headed his way. ]

[Well well well. That's certainly a situation that Qubit has gotten himself into. On the one hand he's clearly trapped, but on the other he's lasted more than Kabal's 15 minute prediction so that's sorta impressive.

Pulling one of the swords off his back Kabal runs past in front of the turrets to see if they'll track him. If Qubit is looking it'll look a bit like Kabal disappears into a strange aura of purple energy and then pops back into existence a short distance away. And while most people can't see him when he runs that fast, the machines certainly can and turn to follow.

Good for Kabal that their bullets can't hit him like that, but he comes out of it spinning his sword in front of him to deflect them anyway. Now that he's out of their reach they refocus on Qubit.

Hm.]

You really got yourself fucked over with this one.

[In good news, he is pretty qualified to deal with the undead -- or at least he hopes he still is, given he hasn't really dealt with them in any proper capacity since the whole 'becoming one' thing. Not that he fully recalls, anyway, but he's trying not to dwell too long on that just yet.

The bad news is that he's never used a phone before and isn't completely sure how this is supposed to go. Peter showed him how to use his communicator, but this is his first foray into the world of talking to strangers on it. It's a terrifying experience, but given the circumstances and the situation presented by the fellow on the other end of the line, he supposes he should at least try.

His voice is tentative as he speaks at the device, hoping it's working.]

Hello? Can you hear me?

[ Kabal's sudden appearance is a surprise, mostly because Qubit wasn't expecting him to turn up at all. That little disappearing act of his, too. Teleportation? No - the guns never lost him. More of a flash-step, then.

In leaning out to watch him, though, even just those couple inches, he invites a new round of fire, and ducks back in just as quickly. He was able to catch a glimpse of the approaching robots, too. Cool. Four turrets, two robots, and a complete wildcard. ]

[ humorlessly: ] Really? I'm so glad you're here to tell me these things.

[ Still, it could be worse. The turrets may be out of range for his technokinesis, but if he can bait the robots to within ten meters or so... but there's a nonzero possibility Toothenstein here will break them before he gets the chance. ]

What's your game? I don't see any popcorn.

[ What an odd username, thinks the guy who uses his superhero alias full-time. Anyway, this comes some time after he's dealt with the whole deathbot situation up top. ]

Loud and clear. What do you need?

[His relief is immediate.]

Oh! Oh thank goodness. I was afraid I would be talking to myself.

[Which, frankly, isn't that unusual.]

Is there still an, um. Undead problem there? Wherever you are?

[Something about an airlock and radiation and he has literally no idea what either of those are.]

[ Hoo boy. Is this gonna be another tech-illiterate? Sigh...... ]

Not where I am now, but yes, outside the station there is. Why, do you have a way to counter it?

['Tech-illiterate' is probably the kindest way to describe him, given his outright aversion toward it so far.

Outside, though. He understands that.]

I dealt with them many times before being brought here, not necessarily as an occupation, but out of obligation and necessity.

[ A crisis! It doesn't matter that this person is a complete stranger! This is terrible! ]

Hello! Are you there? Can you hear me?

[ Reynir is still working on figuring out these very strange radios but he manages to get the message to transmit. ]

Would you define 'undead' when you have a moment?

Feel free to disregard if you're in a life or death scenario, or respond SOS for reinforcements.

Hm. Technically not what I asked, but I'll take it.

I'm a little busy with something else at the moment [ aka all the lasers ], but afterward I can take you there, and we'll clean the place out. How's that strike you?

[ The response comes after he's out of immediate danger, at least. So, still a crisis, just... less so. (What is with all these people absolutely blown away by the most basic conveniences, though, geez.) ]

Yes, yes, I can hear you. What?

Well, I'm out of it now. By "undead" I'm referring to walking cadavers, shambling corpses, that sort of thing. Zombies.

Edited 2019-09-08 22:34 (UTC)

[If a wince at being called out on his avoidance could be transmitted through voice, one would go here. He's lucky he didn't turn on the camera.]

Er, yes, that's fine. Where shall I meet you?

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