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[redwinekindofgirl]

So... few of us here have come from other places, right?

[She tucks her hair behind her ear and a few of the shorter strands fall forwards again. Annoyed, she puffs them out of her face with a quick exhale.]

I guess that doesn't matter, really-- Would you want to forget it all?

[Julie pauses, then adds some clarification.]

Where I've been, people didn't remember stuff after they left. Sometimes they'd come back and not remember they'd been there. Would you want that, or... would you want to remember?

Comments

[bakudan_bambino]

Even if I wanted to forget the last place I was, I couldn’t. There are too many physical marks and items from it that I’ve carried around and are attached to me.

I wonder if I were to go back home, would those all be gone...

[redwinekindofgirl]

I don't know if it's the same here, but in the last place I got the feeling that whatever we were up to back home is just kind of... on pause. Does that make sense?

[bakudan_bambino]

Yeah, like this is just a series of strange dreams.

[redwinekindofgirl]

Exactly! Except they're really, really sucky dreams.

[She puffs out a sigh.]

I'd just like to have one fucking normal day.

[bakudan_bambino]

Some are better or worse.

[He lets out a little breath of laughter.]

How would you even define normal?

[redwinekindofgirl]

A day where I'm not worrying if I'm going to die seems like a pretty nice normal.

[Julie... has not had a lot of normal days.]

[bakudan_bambino]

[He barks out a quick laugh.]

Worrying about dying was normal for me! This place is much more calm by comparison.

[redwinekindofgirl]

[Julie snorts softly.]

I've been neck-deep in death since I was nine years old. It's never been 'normal'. Kids shouldn't have to live like that.

[bakudan_bambino]

I was raised by the mafia...

[He's just going to light a cigarette, it'll help him with the tension that comes from such a heavy sort of conversation.]

Homeless since I was eight. So whether or not it should be normal doesn't matter. It just is. Any day where I don't have to worry about dying... and there have been a couple of those since I got to Anchor... they're the good dreams.

[redwinekindofgirl]

So we're not actually disagreeing.

[Their version of 'normal' is fucked and not what real 'normal' should be. Julie's sick of always worrying if she's going to see the next day, and there have been more days in her life where she's thought she might die than ones where she hasn't.]

I prefer the 'hey maybe I won't die today' days.

[bakudan_bambino]

Right.

[It felt like more of a discussion than a disagreement. Comparisons do usually feel like that in these sort of circumstances, but there is no competition. Having to worry over death isn't fun, and that doesn't matter whatever world they come from.]

So far so good, then. You're not dead yet.

[redwinekindofgirl]

[She has to laugh at that, and it isn't a harsh laugh.]

Fuck, if you aren't right. [Isn't she alive? Not entirely whole, but she's alive.]

I don't go down easily.

[bakudan_bambino]

You should be proud of that. Not a lot of people get back up when they are knocked down. I think that's more important than if you do get knocked down or not.

[What an oddly comforting feeling. Gokudera is pretty happy with his life right now, especially what he's made of it on Anchor after Amoi. It feels like every step is a recovery.]

[redwinekindofgirl]

Yeah, well... I know what the alternative is, and back home there are worse things than death.

[That's not said to be dramatic, though it sure comes out that way and she notices it, scrunching her face up at her own words.]

I mean, zombies are a thing. [They don't really like being called that, and she doesn't like calling them that anymore, but it's easier than using her own words then needing to explain.]

[bakudan_bambino]

Zombies are a thing where you come from?

[Gokudera seems relatively amused with this topic.]

They're mostly used as a subject of scary stories where I'm from.

[redwinekindofgirl]

Yeah? Good for you.

[They used to be stories for her too.]

My boyfriend was killed by them, my dad, and my mom is--- Whatever. I wish they were just scary stories.

[bakudan_bambino]

I'm not going to say it can't happen, or anything. I am incredibly grateful that I've never lived through any type of zombie invasion...

[He can't imagine what she went through, but that it's something that he'd hate. Gokudera chews the inside of his lip.]

I'm sorry to hear that. At least you're in this world and there are no zombies. [yet.]