text, un: yourstruly.

[floozie]

Attention, everyone!

If there are any aspiring butlers or maids in this sewer looking for a job, know that I'd be happy to help your budding careers by hiring you to be my full-time caretaker. As the position's unpaid you'll be working for exposure, but I'm totally willing to write you a great reference after I release you from my service.

Veterans with at least five years of experience in the industry are also welcome. You think you're first rate now? With my help you could be the best.





In the meantime, while I wait for applicants to pour in, could anyone lend me a shirt?

Comments

[itsnotaonesie]

[HE JUST CARES ABOUT EVERYONE SO MUCH you're right he is terrible at loving himself :(]

Assuming nothing else in Anchor breaks or malfunctions or anything else horrible happens, I dunno, a couple hours tops. Unless you want it painted or something, then I'd give it a day for it to dry.

[floozie]

(both outcomes were destined to be the same regardless. zelos never takes anything seriously; they're two peas in a pod.)

A blouse under a cummerbund under a suit jacket. Tie or bowtie, gentleman's choice.

Do you have what it takes?

[substances]

[Excellent. The beginning of a beautiful friendship.]

bummer
i have the best ballgown
perfect 4 vacuuming

course i do

[floozie]

You call me weird for liking girls then go on to say something as lame as that? Right after?

You're the weird one. Zombies aren't cool, they're gross.

[floozie]

Nope, I'm just a rich, handsome man with too much time on his hands.

Zelos Wilder, at your service.

[floozie]

Are you okay? You're having a lot of trouble with this one.

[fessus]

It doesn't matter if it's lame, the point is we should probably have priorities. That's all.

And it's not that zombies are cool, it's the emoji that's cool. No one likes dealing with stuff like that irl

[floozie]

Sorry, for a second there I thought you were a guy.

You are a guy, aren't you? Your name's Klaus.

(he is, however, having trouble with this one. he was raised with very old-fashioned mindsets............)

[floozie]

As much as I'd love a pretty paint job, I don't think I can wait that long knowing it's almost done.

Where should I meet you to pick this thing up?

[floozie]

Why don't you worry about your own priorities and leave me out of them? I just want to lie back and relax while everyone else figures this place out.

I've been typing other monsters in, but nothing's coming up. Egg bear cockatrice golem

See? How do you know which ones turn into pictures?

[substances]

[Oh, this is precious.]

i mean whos judgin?
the gender binary is SO overrated

[fessus]

Obv that's what everyone wants to do, that's what I want to do too, but it feels like all hands on deck. At least work on it half the time, don't be a dick.

[ Ugh, he wants a nap. ]

There's no cockatrice? Wtf? idk maybe that's not a thing on this keyboard fsr

[floozie]

Gender binary?

I don't think I've ever heard a term like that before. So what is it?

[arcadedragon]

What kind of service?

Rich and handsome isn't exactly useful. Especially since the rich part did not follow you here.

[livingdeadgirl]

what do you mean

[floozie]

Whatever you say, but I think it's obvious I'm not going to.👍

I don't know, I'm trying to think of some boring animal that might be included. I can do an egg bear in two separate emojis, though. Check this out.🥚🐻

[fessus]

W/e I'll just keep bugging you until something changes, I bet I can be half as annoying as you.

[ It's ON ]

Haha good one, even if I have no idea what an eggbear is supposed to be if it's not literally that thing. But seriously there's not even chocobos on here. My old phone had at least 3?? Weird

[floozie]

That's just a polite thing people say that doesn't actually mean anything, but I don't have to explain that to you. Besides, I'm rich in plenty of other qualities lmao.

What's your story, anyway? Do you know how you wound up here?

[substances]

[What? Is this a teachable moment? God, Klaus can't remember the last time he taught anyone a damn thing. Except that time he taught someone how to get high recently. Whoops.]

o its uh
the whole concept of like
ur gender is the same as ur sex?
like u gotta dress a certain way or liek certain things dependin on wats between ur legs

u kno?

the whole concept is SOOO last century
like early last century

[floozie]

You just seem like you're trying really hard to make all these fun assumptions about me.

The attention's kind of flattering, you know?❤️

1/2

[floozie]

Of that I have no doubt.

(JUST AGREES)

2/2

[floozie]

It's this stupid, ugly monster with a lame main move. It traps you against its chest and squeezes you.🙄 They aren't even strong, just ungainly and annoying.

What's a chocobo? Is it some kind of chocolate?

[fessus]

Ugh that sounds so annoying...... That's like when iron giants use their magnetic pull move and then slam you with a sword, it'd be w/e if they didn't spam it but it's hard to recover. Not that it's anything I can't handle though. [ talks about his own life like it's a video game, ultimate meta ]

You don't have them? 😨 lmao wtf that's messed up

They're birds, bigger than people so you can ride them. They're pretty cool ngl.....

[floozie]

Right.

Is the fact that you like to wear dresses the main point I should be taking away here?

[substances]

[....that went well.]

i wear watever i like ;)

u should try it sumtime