arcadedragon: (Writing)
Genji Shimada ([personal profile] arcadedragon) wrote in [community profile] redshiftrp2019-12-24 10:19 am

@Sparrow | Video

[The video feed opens on part of the kitchen where there's a big stockpot sitting on the counter on a towel, and a few small bowls filled with soup are standing ready nearby. If anyone has known Genji for more than five minutes it's a shock that the rest of the kitchen isn't stacked to the ceiling with dirty dishes and there isn't food literally everywhere.

He cleans up nice sometimes.

While he's not visible at any point in the video, his slightly mechanical voice is pretty recognizable, so he doesn't think to introduce himself.
]

Many of us have been sick, and the weather has become increasingly colder. I made butajiru, except without miso and without dashi because we do not have such things. So I suppose it is simply pork broth and vegetables.

In any case I made a lot, please help yourself, it is in the kitchen.

[Genji is capable of making exactly four items of food: porridge, tamagoyaki, waffles, and this. It's actually good too! Spoiled rich boy has learned himself some new skills.]
benhargreeves: (! outdoors)

--> straight to ACTION, babey

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2019-12-24 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Ben has been more or less looking for an excuse to see Genji again, after the incident with (what he later found out was) truth gas. Things had gotten... really intense between them, but not in a bad way. Their interaction that day had made it really clear to him that Genji's a deep guy who has been through some really horrific shit, and that he hasn't had a whole lot of people there for him to help him through it. Which sucks, a lot. And so Ben can't help wanting to sort of check in, see how he is.

Besides, there is the fact that Ben just really thinks Genji is cool, still really wants to be friends with him. So when he sees the video about soup, he seizes the opportunity and heads straight to the kitchen. He's not sure that Genji meant the invitation to imply he would be there to share the soup, but there's a chance Ben will pass him on the way, or just leaving...?

And he does, in fact, walk in on Genji still in the kitchen. Which perhaps isn't a surprise since he gets that about two minutes after the video is posted... ]
Edited 2019-12-24 19:26 (UTC)
benhargreeves: @malagraphic (? listening)

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2019-12-28 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's not as if Ben ever had a chance of not recognizing Genji. Even with his mask off, the rest of his body has enough metal and lights that he is literally unmistakable. But still, it surprises him, when he walks in and Genji is there at the counter, without his mask. Ben's shock is obvious, from how abruptly his footsteps stop. He takes it all in very rapidly: green hair, handsome face, deep scars. Old cuts, which would make sense, since Genji told Ben he had had limbs cut off.

And Ben remembers, of course, Genji saying how people either are afraid of him, or treat him like an experiment. How no one had told him that he was still a person, before. That last conversation had sure gotten pretty intense.

Ben starts moving again, going over and taking one of those bowls of soup, cradling it in his hands as he moves not to one of the tables, but towards where Genji is making his tea. ]


Hey, Genji. What kinda soup did you say this was, again?

[ This time, neither of them is being compelled to tell the truth, and Ben's gonna seize that opportunity to not ask invasive questions. But he remembers what Genji said, about always eating alone because people thought he was a monster, because he didn't want anyone to see him. So he knows... this is big. Genji would have had time to put the mask on before Ben came in, if he'd wanted to. He's a freaking ninja. And he hadn't, so that means, he'd made that choice. ]

Did you already eat or - would you join me?
benhargreeves: @malagraphic (:) oh really?)

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2019-12-29 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
It smells really good. I- haven't heard of butajiru before, so I won't be able to tell the difference, anyway.

[ Ben is a little bit self-conscious about his lack of knowledge about various kinds of foods, but Cho had said she would help him with that. And she had offered to help him learn to cook. Right now, by Ben's standards, Genji seems like a completely accomplished chef. He'd made something, from scratch!

He settles himself across from Genji at that table, not commenting on him bringing the helmet. For all Ben knows, it's important for him to keep it close, for reasons not just psychological. It's clear from the extensive scarring and from how much of his face is now metal that he'd been hurt extremely badly. Maybe the helmet could be medically necessary if he starts having trouble breathing or who knows what.

Stirring the soup while it steams to let it cool a little, Ben opens his mouth to answer Genji's question with an automatic bland response - that he's good, that he's fine, that he's doing okay. But he stops before he gets any sound out, really considering. Then, with some surprise in his voice, he says, earnestly. ]


I've actually been... really really great.
benhargreeves: @iconned (:) glee)

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2020-01-02 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Oh - Genji has a lovely smile, it turns out. Ben can't help smiling back - small and tentative at first, and then wider when Genji mentions the little dragons. ]

Oh my god, right?! I mean, I know things are crazy here all the time, but I still couldn't believe it when I first saw them. Dragons! Real dragons!

[ He doesn't KNOW.

Ben takes a bite of the soup, grins his approval at Genji, and eats a little more of it before he decides, tentatively, to broach the subject on his mind... ]


So obviously just tell me to shut up if you don't wanna talk about it but... can't help noticing you've got your mask off.

[ There is warmth, and approval in Ben's voice, as well as some curiosity. When they'd last spoken, Genji had seemed so adamant about not wanting anyone to see his face. Had something changed - externally, or internally? Is it something he is willing to discuss? ]
benhargreeves: (:) proud)

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2020-01-03 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Ben gives a shrug, at Genji's comment about the little dragons not knowing how to fly, and says: ]

Doesn't seem to slow them down, though, does it? Maybe they're like penguins. Maybe it's an evolution thing and they don't even have any idea they could be doing something different. It would be pretty cool to see them zooming around in the air, don't get me wrong, but I'm just saying they seem pretty happy just running and rolling and stuff.

[ He is speaking quickly, cheerfully, in between bites of soup. There's no mistaking that Ben is, well, happy. He'd said that he was doing really well, but this is the evidence to back that up. He's talking so easily and freely, without worrying so much about it or even being conscious that he's chattier than usual.

That brightness remains, though he is a little more somber once Genji explains his reasons, says pretend. ]


Well, for what it's worth, it was always pretty clear to me that you weren't a robot. But also, my mom was a robot, so maybe I'm a little better than most at telling the difference.

[ That tidbit sure hadn't been in the comics! But Ben just keeps going: ]

Can I ask... what would you like to call yourself, if you weren't pretending for anyone?

[ To Ben, there's no question that Genji is still human, through and through. But Genji might not like thinking of himself as human. It might hurt, in ways Ben can't know or anticipate. Maybe he's found a better word for himself. Certainly, he's not a robot. But there are many other options. ]
benhargreeves: (! bracing)

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2020-01-04 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
They are so, so, so cute.

[ Ben has that very same soft spot as Genji - though it has been considerably complicated by his past experiences. There are a lot of small animals Ben has to work hard to make himself tolerate being around. Others, he's just accepted are a lost cause. But dragons? They never had dragons in his world. There are no possible bad associations, there.

And, well. He's a nerd. He just loves them. ]


Oh, you met Allison? Awesome. And yeah. She isn't like the robots here -

[ Oh. He catches it just a moment too late. That warm smile falters, when his memory catches up to his mouth, and he amends quickly, voice suddenly quiet: ]

Wasn't.

[ Ben spends a couple seconds after that stirring the soup with his spoon, staring down at the liquid in the bowl, the furrow between his brows deep. His grief for a mother is a thing he has not really dealt with, yet. And he isn't about to, now. He packages it up neatly inside himself, sets it aside, for another time. It's not a trick that will work indefinitely, but it works for now. ]

She's the only reason any of us came out even close to sane.

[ It's more complicated than that, of course. Very complicated. So Ben just... redirects back to Genji instead. ]

Kind of sucks defining yourself based on two nots, though, right? Who cares what you aren't. What you are is... a cyborg. Human and robot. Not neither, but both.
benhargreeves: (! you don't have to do it alone)

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2020-01-07 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Ben... doesn't really know what to say to that. He appreciates it, but thanks is all wrong. Words are so stupid and insufficient. He gives a little awkward shrug and then just sort of lets it drop, even though it makes the silence in the room strained for a moment or two. ]

Not so bad? Sounds pretty awesome if you ask me.

[ It's not all awesome. Ben knows that. How could he not be reminded of that when Genji's face is right there, with all those reminders of violence strewn across it. But still... ]

I have... a, um. friend. [ A long pause, then Ben grins, face flushed, ducking his head as he admits: ] Um. A- boyfriend, actually. Anyway, that's not the important part. He's been helping me to sort of... like myself more than I used to. And one of the things that's been working really well is catching myself when I start saying or thinking negative stuff about myself, even when it's a joke. Like, recontextualizing how I look at myself. I think maybe... owning the whole cyborg thing might do that for you, maybe?

[ Ben looks up again, then. There is an earnestness in his face. He wants so badly to be able to give Genji a little bit of help in this area. To support him and be there for him. Even if he's still something of a mess, himself. ]

Is - there anything else you need, I mean... to make thing worthwhile? How are you doing? You asked about me, earlier, but I didn't ask back?
benhargreeves: (:( just breathe)

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2020-01-12 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ This is all still so new to Ben, and he doesn't know what to say back when Genji congratulates him. Would the normal thing be to say thanks? To make a joke? To talk more about how it had all come about? Ben has no clue, so he just gives a slightly lopsided smile and a pleased little shrug of his shoulders. That'll have to do.

But his worries about his own awkwardness fall into the background when Genji starts talking about how he used to be cheerful. Ben had kind of caught him at a vulnerable moment, when they both had been truth gassed. That could happen to anybody. But Genji is talking about negativity permeating everything and being miserable, and he's talking about now. He's talking about the present. Ben can just tell.

He could kick himself then for not asking how Genji was doing sooner. Particularly when he confirms that he's been better which Ben knows is code for I'm going through an incredibly rough time. A furrow forms between his dark brows, and he leans closer, all worry and seriousness. ]


Did... something happen, or is it being stuck here, or is it... something else?

[ Ben looks Genji in the eyes, looks at his handsome, scarred face. There are a lot of options, things that might make Genji sad. Ben knows that, even without reason, sadness can come and hang like an anchor. He knows that the past can echo loudly on some days. If Genji has been trying taking his mask off around people, had anyone reacted badly? Or is Genji merely dwelling on whatever events had led to him being injured in the first place? ]

Can I help?
benhargreeves: @malagraphic (:( uncertain)

[personal profile] benhargreeves 2020-01-17 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Ben reaches across the table, wrapping a hand around Genji's wrist, partly to get his attention, and partly because he knows that, for some - for himself - touch can be a grounding and comforting thing. ]

Hey, Genji.

[ Ben meets Genji's eyes, his expression grave and full of sympathy. He had spent a long, long time trying to help his brother with just this. Giving speeches like this, trying to get him to stay in rehab. The practice means that he stumbles less, that he doesn't hold back. ]

You made this awesome soup. That's a skill I don't have. And I just want to say two things. First, your worth isn't a sum that you figure out by adding up... points you get for usefulness. No one thinks like that but awful people who see other people as tools, or objects. And second, you're talking like you can't learn anything new. We've got all the time in the world here, right? So - learn some skills! Learn stuff you never got a chance to learn before.

[ But just those two things aren't enough, and Ben keeps talking: ]

This might sound crazy, but... a good way to stop thinking about the past so much is to talk about it. I'm not saying you gotta talk about it to me. But if you talk about it to somebody, it - it helps. I don't know why, but I've seen it happen.

[ The seriousness of his face is broken by a small smile, just at one corner of his mouth. He gives Genji's wrist a squeeze and lets go, sitting back and picking up his spoon once more. ]

It's not too late to be the person you want to be. You can always become that person, one choice at a time.