audio; @kyouken Backdated a couple days

[justbeingknife]

Could someone fill me in on where the space plague came from?

Thought I'd pop into that Medbay and try to help out, only it seems more like a roundup down there than anythin' else. This place got any doctors?

And hi, I guess. This place's a lot more radioactive than my last involuntary relocation.

[ This was his life now, said the note of resignation in that voice. Destined to drop dead of space SARS, this was fine. ]

Comments

[justbeingknife]

Hey, don't jinx it. [ God Majima could only imagine, he hadn't shown symptoms yet, but surely it was only a matter of time? ]

I guess it could be worse. There's plenty of booze.

[kaballin]

There used to be a bartender too. Cept he pissed off to who knows where.

Granted he's a shitty robot that only knows how to make tequila sunrises, and not well either. But at least I didn't have to grab my own bottles. It's the little things you cherish.

[justbeingknife]

[ Majima laughed. ]

I played bartender for a spell; it ain't so bad. Granted, I'd trade it all for a ticket off this rock.

So ya don't like Sunrises, what's your poison of choice?

[kaballin]

Vodka, scotch, rum. Tequila tastes like a cactus jizzed on dumpster water and then someone bottled it.

[justbeingknife]

Ya know what, I ain't going to ask where that came from. But I do love a good whiskey.

Maybe I'll give that rum a try while I'm here. Ain't see much of it in Sotenbori; guess it just ain't that popular.

[kaballin]

There's a spiced one they have here that's pretty good. Can pretend you're drinking it on an island with half naked women under a palm tree instead of a broken ass bar.

[justbeingknife]

Everyone's gotta have a hobby.

I'd prefer it if the universe dropped me on an actual beach every now and then. I figure at this rate it's gotta happen sometime in the next decade.

[kaballin]

Where were you previously? Is this trending better or worse?

[justbeingknife]

Fair warnin', it's gonna sound dumb as hell: a city with magic and dragons and junk.

It was alright, I guess -- only I couldn't fuckin' fight any more. Okay, I could, but I couldn't kick for shit. And they kept pushing everyone to get all touchy-feely with each other.

[ Empathic bonds, thanks he hated it ]

[kaballin]

[Don't worry Majima, you're talking to someone who got roasted alive by a four-armed tiger furry.]

So like a mandatory brothel?

You are really not selling the: this is terrible, aspect of where you were.

[justbeingknife]

What? No. [ Although Majima would also consider that terrible, like fuck did he want to have sex with whoever paid him off. ] More like mandatory friends, only those 'friends' get a bead on your brain. What you're feeling, what ya dream about. Shit like that.

Also if ya don't make the right connections, ya might explode.

[kaballin]

Alright, now it sounds horrible.

How'd that even work? Actually no, don't tell me, I definitely don't want to think about that. In good news there isn't any of that shit here. That I know of. I sure as fuck don't know what other people are dreaming about anyway.

[justbeingknife]

Good to hear. Not that I don't trust a bunch of random dudes from some dimension I never heard of, but some shit's personal.

[ Like his thoughts! And his feelings! That kind of shit. ]

Point is, I think I'm gettin' the urge to head to the bar.

[kaballin]

[Well that's nightmare fuel.]

I need a drink just hearing about this.

How'd you get outta that place? You know, for future reference in case that shit starts happening here.

[justbeingknife]

Technically, I didn't. What happened was I ended up here. Given the situation, I'm tryin' not to get too comfortable. Not like that's some big challenge.

What's your story?

[kaballin]

I was dead for about twenty years and then got un-dead and woke up here. Being alive is appreciated, being here - not so much.

[justbeingknife]

What, so ya can't have peace and quiet even when you're six feet under?

...No offense. I just figured that once I was dead, that'd be that.

[kaballin]

No rest for the wicked I guess.

Maybe if you don't have sorcerers where you come from. I got raised and stuck in the Netherrealm. Do not recommend. Other than the whole 'can't die again' thing, it wasn't a great time.

[justbeingknife]

The Netherrealm? Who coined that one? The name makes it sound like ass.

[ geddit ]

So your sorcerers get people walkin' up outta the grave, huh? That shit was illegal. Everythin' to do with necromancy, I mean.

[kaballin]

Heh.

[Oh he gets it.]

No clue. Other than the fact there's a bunch of hot succubi running around, the place sucks. It's hot, it's dark, everything is on fire, people are screaming constantly, there's nothing to do and there's shitty sorcerers in their towers trying to plot world domination. I've been there for twenty years, you know how many tv shows I've missed? And movies? Shit's fucked.

Oh it's illegal huh? Well who's gonna stop 'em?

[justbeingknife]

Bunch of other explodin' witches.

[ That was life, man. One day you were minding your own business, feeding dudes their daily dose of pavement, and the next someone was sorting you into off-brand Griffyndor and telling you not to bring bodies back from the dead. ]

So bein' here's a net positive for ya, then. How about that? I mean, aside from the odd fungus bear and maybe dyin' of the space plague.

[kaballin]

Exploding witches. Aight, that's a new one for me.

[He's taking that literally, thinking of old women on broomsticks doing some kamikaze dive bombing.]

It is, but it also sucks. Cuz all the shit I wanna do is back home, there's only a few dozen people here and they're all do-gooder types that never want to have any fun.

[justbeingknife]

And none of 'em enjoy what I can only assume is blackjack and hookers?

[ Sorry bud he was just getting that vibe. ]

It's creepy how empty this place is, though. Like bein' at the ass end of the universe.

[kaballin]

Smart guy. I like you.

Yeah its designed for hundreds and there's maybe twenty. Not to mention the whole in space on a desolate planet that seems to be made of dust.

[justbeingknife]

Yeah, about that. When do the space ghosts show up? Or did I show up too late?

[ look he couldn't deny that he was slightly excited about the idea of space alien ghosts, maybe even space pirate ghosts ]

I did try and pop my head into that dance club. The selection was a goddamn disgrace.

[kaballin]

There were space clouds of terrifying death but no ghosts yet. Oh and zombies, forgot about those guys.

Are there supposed to be ghosts?

[justbeingknife]

Hell if I know. I've never even seen one, [ that he knew of ] but why not, right?

[ More importantly ]

I missed the zombies? What a kick in the dick. Never did get to see the real thing.

[kaballin]

They were in the Whole Foods.

Sure that's a sentence I just got to say: There were zombies in the Whole Foods. I fucking hate this place.

They'll probably come back, if movies taught me anything it's that you can't actually get rid of zombies.