redshiftrp | audio; @kyouken Backdated a couple days

No clue where it came from, but I don't got it and that's what matters.

Yeah there's a few doctors but I haven't heard from them in a while so they might have all died. Feel free to go to the Medbay and highlander that shit. Now you're the top doctor.

Looks like gettin' out would be the problem. [ What a nightmare. ]

Ain't they got those tanks to stick some poor bastard in if he loses a leg or gets irradiated or some shit? And besides, there's gotta be someone more qualified to stick band-aids on people.

[ What a fucking nightmare. ]

There fucking should be right? Movies lied to me about the future when we don't even have cool sci-fi shit.

But hey, if you're not sick maybe you get to be one of those who survive the space plague and get to take over. Silver lining and all.

Hey, don't jinx it. [ God Majima could only imagine, he hadn't shown symptoms yet, but surely it was only a matter of time? ]

I guess it could be worse. There's plenty of booze.

There used to be a bartender too. Cept he pissed off to who knows where.

Granted he's a shitty robot that only knows how to make tequila sunrises, and not well either. But at least I didn't have to grab my own bottles. It's the little things you cherish.

[ Majima laughed. ]

I played bartender for a spell; it ain't so bad. Granted, I'd trade it all for a ticket off this rock.

So ya don't like Sunrises, what's your poison of choice?

Edited 2019-11-22 17:53 (UTC)

Vodka, scotch, rum. Tequila tastes like a cactus jizzed on dumpster water and then someone bottled it.

Ya know what, I ain't going to ask where that came from. But I do love a good whiskey.

Maybe I'll give that rum a try while I'm here. Ain't see much of it in Sotenbori; guess it just ain't that popular.

Edited 2019-11-24 06:23 (UTC)

There's a spiced one they have here that's pretty good. Can pretend you're drinking it on an island with half naked women under a palm tree instead of a broken ass bar.

Everyone's gotta have a hobby.

I'd prefer it if the universe dropped me on an actual beach every now and then. I figure at this rate it's gotta happen sometime in the next decade.

Where were you previously? Is this trending better or worse?

Fair warnin', it's gonna sound dumb as hell: a city with magic and dragons and junk.

It was alright, I guess -- only I couldn't fuckin' fight any more. Okay, I could, but I couldn't kick for shit. And they kept pushing everyone to get all touchy-feely with each other.

[ Empathic bonds, thanks he hated it ]

[Don't worry Majima, you're talking to someone who got roasted alive by a four-armed tiger furry.]

So like a mandatory brothel?

You are really not selling the: this is terrible, aspect of where you were.

What? No. [ Although Majima would also consider that terrible, like fuck did he want to have sex with whoever paid him off. ] More like mandatory friends, only those 'friends' get a bead on your brain. What you're feeling, what ya dream about. Shit like that.

Also if ya don't make the right connections, ya might explode.

Alright, now it sounds horrible.

How'd that even work? Actually no, don't tell me, I definitely don't want to think about that. In good news there isn't any of that shit here. That I know of. I sure as fuck don't know what other people are dreaming about anyway.

Good to hear. Not that I don't trust a bunch of random dudes from some dimension I never heard of, but some shit's personal.

[ Like his thoughts! And his feelings! That kind of shit. ]

Point is, I think I'm gettin' the urge to head to the bar.

[Well that's nightmare fuel.]

I need a drink just hearing about this.

How'd you get outta that place? You know, for future reference in case that shit starts happening here.

Technically, I didn't. What happened was I ended up here. Given the situation, I'm tryin' not to get too comfortable. Not like that's some big challenge.

What's your story?

I was dead for about twenty years and then got un-dead and woke up here. Being alive is appreciated, being here - not so much.

What, so ya can't have peace and quiet even when you're six feet under?

...No offense. I just figured that once I was dead, that'd be that.

No rest for the wicked I guess.

Maybe if you don't have sorcerers where you come from. I got raised and stuck in the Netherrealm. Do not recommend. Other than the whole 'can't die again' thing, it wasn't a great time.

The Netherrealm? Who coined that one? The name makes it sound like ass.

[ geddit ]

So your sorcerers get people walkin' up outta the grave, huh? That shit was illegal. Everythin' to do with necromancy, I mean.

Heh.

[Oh he gets it.]

No clue. Other than the fact there's a bunch of hot succubi running around, the place sucks. It's hot, it's dark, everything is on fire, people are screaming constantly, there's nothing to do and there's shitty sorcerers in their towers trying to plot world domination. I've been there for twenty years, you know how many tv shows I've missed? And movies? Shit's fucked.

Oh it's illegal huh? Well who's gonna stop 'em?

Bunch of other explodin' witches.

[ That was life, man. One day you were minding your own business, feeding dudes their daily dose of pavement, and the next someone was sorting you into off-brand Griffyndor and telling you not to bring bodies back from the dead. ]

So bein' here's a net positive for ya, then. How about that? I mean, aside from the odd fungus bear and maybe dyin' of the space plague.

Exploding witches. Aight, that's a new one for me.

[He's taking that literally, thinking of old women on broomsticks doing some kamikaze dive bombing.]

It is, but it also sucks. Cuz all the shit I wanna do is back home, there's only a few dozen people here and they're all do-gooder types that never want to have any fun.

And none of 'em enjoy what I can only assume is blackjack and hookers?

[ Sorry bud he was just getting that vibe. ]

It's creepy how empty this place is, though. Like bein' at the ass end of the universe.

Smart guy. I like you.

Yeah its designed for hundreds and there's maybe twenty. Not to mention the whole in space on a desolate planet that seems to be made of dust.

Yeah, about that. When do the space ghosts show up? Or did I show up too late?

[ look he couldn't deny that he was slightly excited about the idea of space alien ghosts, maybe even space pirate ghosts ]

I did try and pop my head into that dance club. The selection was a goddamn disgrace.

There were space clouds of terrifying death but no ghosts yet. Oh and zombies, forgot about those guys.

Are there supposed to be ghosts?

Hell if I know. I've never even seen one, [ that he knew of ] but why not, right?

[ More importantly ]

I missed the zombies? What a kick in the dick. Never did get to see the real thing.

Edited 2019-12-10 17:06 (UTC)

They were in the Whole Foods.

Sure that's a sentence I just got to say: There were zombies in the Whole Foods. I fucking hate this place.

They'll probably come back, if movies taught me anything it's that you can't actually get rid of zombies.

We're not sure. It made the rounds briefly last month, but it wasn't this severe then. We don't have any doctors, unfortunately - Shepard has been running the Medbay, but she's a combat medic, not an epidemiologist.

[ From the sound of his voice, Qubit's walking very quickly, and a distant beeping noise can be heard intermittently in the background. ]

You're new, correct? In that case, you may still be able to avoid infection. I've made some personal filtration units to hand out. Give me your location and I can bring you one in, uh... twenty minutes.

[ The beeping starts getting faster, and Qubit stops for a second before picking up his pace. ]

... Strike that, thirty.

Not bringing anythin' unpleasant along, are ya?

[ But what the hey, location sent. If there were space grizzlies crawling up Qubit's ass or whatever, he'd deal with that in thirty minutes. ]

At least someone's manning the place. That's a load off my mind.

[ So yeah, he was new. Not panicking, though, which was a positive. ]

Not trying to, but you'll be the first to know.

[ It probably won't be space grizzlies. Still, he's glad the new guy is keeping his head, in spite of everything. ]

Right. And if she's unavailable, the med-bots do a decent job holding down the fort. But they're no substitute for the real -

[ A muffled bang somewhere in the background cuts him off. ]

Oh, for God's sake! - Listen, I'll call you back. Qubit out.

[ He does not end up calling him back, but at 25 minutes he texts that he's on his way, and at 35 he shows up at ... whatever location Majima designated. It's perhaps not the greatest first impression - he's tired and exasperated and nursing a headache yet again, his shirt's stained with machine grease, and his hair's even wilder than usual - but at least he's not being pursued by bears or anything. ]

Are you "Kyouken"?

That's me. The name's Majima.

[ Unlike Qubit, Majima looked like he'd stepped out to catch some air at a party -- dark suit, polished boots with silver tips. Give it time. ]

So you're Qubit? Nice to meet ya. Hope it didn't put ya out too much to get here.

Likewise. Wish it were at a better time.

[ Qubit swings the backpack he's carrying to the ground, where it lands with a heavy rattle. (He really needs to reverse-engineer himself an omnitool one of these days.) The mask he brought is right on top, fortunately, and he offers this to Majima. It's fairly compact, fitting neatly over nose and mouth without the filters sticking out too far. ]

Here. These cartridges ought to last you through the outbreak, but if it starts beeping at you, drop me a line.

Thanks.

[ Assuming one of the cartridges was preloaded, Majima would simply slip the thing on. Eyyy. Infection protection couture. He could only imagine it looked goofy on him, but beggars could hardly be choosers here. ]

Man, whattaya got in that thing? A safe?

[ Yeah, there's like two cartridges included and they're both preloaded. Technology! (It does look a little goofy though yes.) ]

Oh, you know. Tools, spare parts. Kitchen sink. [ As long as he's got it on the floor, he takes a second to rub his shoulder where the strap was digging in. ] Our entire robot fleet decided to go on quarantine duty at once, which makes me fifty percent of the station's maintenance crew, at the moment.

[ Well, it wasn't like Majima knew much about repairing the station. On the other hand, Qubit had helped him (hopefully), and what kind of guy just accepted help without offering any in turn? ]

I could probably make that pack lighter for ya, if you want. Save yourself some back problems.

audio; @kyouken Backdated a couple days

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