video ; @aa (backdated sometime before the Goop Festival)

[livingdeadgirl]

[ Ami looks a little different in today's video - her usual pigtails have been swapped out for twin braids, draped over her shoulders like Wednesday Addams, and although she's still got the black lipstick and eyeshadow going on, there's also a smudge of black dirt across her nose. She's vlogging, holding the camera in one hand while she waves to it with the other. ]

Hi, Anchor! It's ya girl Ami, coming to you live from the Agricultural Zone! Which, as you probably already know, has become -

[ She turns the camera around to show off an area that hasn't been harvested yet. It's bursting with colorful fruits and veggies and produce of undefined gender. One bright pinkish-purple shape, though, turns out to be Elleru - or at least her hair, since she's doing her bipedal thing.

Ami finishes her declaration in a goofy voice that probably signifies she's referencing something. ]

- a ROYAL RAINBOW! Haha. Hey Elleru, say hi to everybody!

[ Elleru waves and says something back - the mic is too far away to pick up what, but apparently it's funny, since Ami laughs as she turns the camera back to her own face. ]

Okay, but the thing is - we have no idea what any of these weird fruits are called. So clearly, we're just going to have to make up our own names for them! We've already gotten started.

[ She reaches offscreen and retrieves an oblong, speckled yellow fruit that's almost pyramidal in shape. Since it's ripe, the bottom has flared open to drop its seeds, leaving behind only the juicy, golden flesh. ]

For instance, this one is a hanging trumpet! And this one -

[ Next up: a smooth fist-sized fruit that's such a deep blue it's almost black, but as the light moves across it, it has an iridescent sheen. ]

- is a midnight puncher! Elleru came up with that one.

[ She pauses for a sec before holding up a third specimen, side-eyeing it like she's trying to think of something nice to say. At a glance, though, it looks like a regular ol' Red Delicious apple. ]

This one, uh... well, let me show you.

[ She sets the apple down on a blanket, where it immediately starts jittering around like a four-frame animated gif. Also, as it dances, viewers will soon see its other side, where there's a cartoonish but unmistakable face, wearing a big, stupid grin. ]

This one's just a seizure apple.

[ She keeps the camera on it in silence for several increasingly uncomfortable seconds. It's so... hypnotic. Gaze upon its juicy redness. Observe how it jitters. Witness its doofy-looking majesty.

Okay that's enough witnessing! We're moving on!!!! ]

Anyway! We don't want to unilaterally name all these bad boys by ourselves, and not just because we would definitely forget most of them! So let's make this a community effort.

[ One last camera pan (sorry about all this, by the way, if any of you get motion sickness) reveals a wide assortment of exotic fruits, neatly laid out on the same blanket as before. A smaller rainbow, but still eminently monarchical. 🌈 ]

Pick a fruit, any fruit, and give it a name! And be creative, there are no wrong answers!*

[ * There are some wrong answers. ]


[[ ooc: Ami and Elleru will both be responding below! How this'll work is, you can either have us make up a weird fruit visual, or you can invent your own! THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTERFRUIT. ]]

Comments

[birdical]

[Oh, he called her Miss. How polite! She sounds absolutely delighted, letting out a quiet giggle.]

I will! But first, I must know your name, and what these Terran strawberries look like.

[Which probably says something about her homeworld, and it definitely not being Earth.]

[superposition]

[ See, he's not totally devoid of manners! Occasionally. ]

Fair enough. I'm Qubit, same as the username.

And strawberries are - they're a small, berrylike fruit, bright red when ripe, usually two to four centimeters across. Generally, they'll be roughly conical or heart-shaped. Seeds are very small, numerous, and found on the surface of the fruit. They grow on leafy bushes close to the ground, and have a sweet, slightly tart flavor.

[ By "what they look like," you DID mean a detailed technical description, right? ]

[birdical]

[There's a little pause where she sees his username is the same as his given name, and she wonders if anyone thinks her name is Bearly Bewitched. Certainly not, but uprights can be so strange that she cannot know for sure.]

Red and heart-shaped? And sweet? How romantic these fruits must be! Are they given as gifts for lovers? Have you given one to a lover?

[Not even going to wait for the first answer before diving right into that one.]

[superposition]

[ It's a good thing this isn't video, because Qubit is caught completely off guard by this. Oh God. Oh geez. Oh no. Is... is she coming on to him?? He legitimately can't tell. I mean, it's definitely way too personal of a question, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's making overtures. Damn it, he is entirely too asexual for this...!

After a few seconds of anxious silence, he clears his throat and goes for the Nimble Dodge. Play it cool, Qubit! If she is flirting, you gotta let her down gently, okay? ]

Well, er - that is one use for them, yes. Chocolate-dipped strawberries in particular are a - a popular Valentine's Day gift, in some cultures, since chocolate's thought of as an aphrodisiac -

[ Fun fact: Qubit babbles when he's nervous! Or excited. Or happy. Or for a lot of reasons!
Corollary: It almost never makes the situation better. ]

[birdical]

[She almost calls him on how nervous he sounds -- different as their people may be, she is no stranger to someone being utterly flustered. It's a reaction she likes, one that usually causes her to pounce.

She savors it this time, though. Let him stew a little.]

Tell me about Valentine's Day. It is a special day where you are from?

[superposition]

[ Whyyyy did he bring that up. That's it, he's stuck now. At least that's what she asked about instead of aphrodisiacs, though. Valentine's Day is tame enough. This is fine! He's just... participating in multiculturalism, that's all this is. ]

It's a holiday, yes. A celebration of romantic love. It's traditional to, for instance, take your partner out to dinner, buy them flowers, exchange gifts - that sort of thing.

[birdical]

That does sound very romantic. And these aphrodisiacs help? They are also a gift?

[Sorry Qubit, you're not getting out of this that easily.]

[superposition]

[ &**@%&$#%$!&%&$ ]

They ... certainly can be. A gift, I mean. They are, often, gifts. [ Nailed it. ]

... Although it should be noted - the vast majority of substances touted as aphrodisiacs are either completely untested as such, or perform no better than placebo. Or, more likely, both. It's the world's longest-running scam.

[ Why are words still coming out of his mouth this is terrible ]

[birdical]

Perform? What is it that they do? They are a... [There is some kind of murmuring that sounds just a little animalistic -- squawky, even -- as she tries to parse out the correct word in common.] Medicine?

[superposition]

[ Oh. Oh, okay, she doesn't know what the word means. Cool, cool cool cool. Now he gets to define it, and his nature will not let him simply make something up. ]

Not exactly. They're... foods, or herbs, or other substances - minerals, oils, animal products - that are popularly thought to intensify certain... urges.

[ ... "Urges"? Really? Could he have picked stodgier phrasing? He has been deliberately erring on the side of clinical, the better to clue Elleru in that he's not that kind of guy, but - "certain urges"? What is he, a Victorian dick pill salesman? ]

[birdical]

Urges.

[She ponders this, particularly the meaning as she knows it and how uprights use it. She's seen it in her research -- especially in particular novels, and during particular scenes. Ah. Ahhhhhh, she sees now. Is that why he is so nervous?

Cute.]

I believe I understand. They are sexual in nature.

[superposition]

[ ELLERU NO, YOU CAN'T SAY S*X ON YOUTUBE. ]

[ He clears his throat - ] Correct. And perhaps we should leave it at that, considering there are children present.

[livingdeadgirl]

[ Ami's voice pipes up, a little distantly, as if she's been sitting fifteen feet away from Elleru for this whole conversation and only half listening to it. ]

I'm a sophomore, Mr. Qubit, I know what sex is.

[ Like, she might get uncomfortable if they started openly hitting on each other or something, but this is pretty tame. ]

[birdical]

[Elleru nods to her companion, mentally noting to ask what a sophomore is later.

It is fine. She knows what sex is.

[superposition]

[ AMI NO, YOU WERE HIS TICKET OUT OF THIS TOPIC. everybody betray me. they are using me, and i am the fool. ]

Yes, I heard her. Look, uh - Elleru, surely your people have romantic traditions as well, yes?

[ Wild Draw 4 isn't happening, so let's try a Reverse. This cannot possibly backfire! ]

[birdical]

Ah yes, we do.

[She seems to have taken the bait... for now.]

First, you bring to your potential [po-ten-she-all, forgive that stilted pronunciation] lover a small gift you caught yourself, alive. It is polite they turn this away. Next, you bring to them a large kill to prove your intentions.

[How to work the last one - she pauses to consider what uprights would use instead of fur and feathers. Right, she knows.]

Last, you bring to them a trinket and a lock of your hair. They will return this to you. If they bring back only the f— the hair, then they have accepted your courtship.

[superposition]

[ If he notices the "f-", he doesn't say anything. But hey look, something completely non-romantic to segue into! That puts him a little more at ease. ]

I see. Then, are all your people hunters? What do you call yourselves, by the by?

[birdical]

We are kaulahren.

[Kah-ool-ah-hRen, Qubit, with a harsh R in that last syllable.]

Many of us are hunters. I am not, and would not do the courting. I am to be courted.

[superposition]

Ah. How's that divided up, then? By gender? What's your role in the, uh...?

[ ... tribe? clan? town? He's not sure which one to go with, but with hunting playing such an integral role in their society, his inclination is to think smaller and on the less technological side (though of course either of those could easily be false). ]

[birdical]

Colony.

[Oh no wait, she should have said town! Uprights live in towns, right? No taking it back now without looking suspicious, but Elleru kicks herself internally for letting that slip. To be fair, she did just admit she's kaulahren, but she's figured out by now that her kind aren't native to this world -- or others -- so people aren't likely to recognize the term and what it truly means.

So... she's probably safe speaking a little more of her home, she decides.]

I am a priestess, if the translation is correct.

[superposition]

[ Well, Qubit has no objection to the term - it turns out uprights also live in colonies sometimes. ]

Hm! We're developing quite the diverse religious landscape here, aren't we? [ You've got Carlisle, and Reynir, and now Elleru. Which makes him wonder - ] Are you a magic-user as well?

[birdical]

[Welp, there's a term she takes offense to. There's an audible growl in her words, a rattle that is less ladylike and more bestial than it ought to be.]

Such foul tricks are beneath me. Do not insult me so.

[superposition]

[ Whoops. Qubit's not the biggest fan of magic, either, but he didn't expect her to be openly hostile to it. ]

Sorry, sorry - didn't mean to offend. I wasn't aware it was taboo.

[ But how far does that taboo extend? Just to actual magic, or to any supernatural ability, or even to sufficiently advanced technology? Any of those miiight cause her some tension around here. ]

[birdical]

[Yeah, she went from casual to cold in .01 seconds. She seems to dial it back at his apology, though.]

Your apology is accepted. Are you from a world with such abilities?

[superposition]

... That's correct.

[ His tone's a bit more cautious now. The last thing he wants is to spark a literal witch hunt. ]

Although I'd like to make the distinction that not all supernatural effects are derived from magic.