video ; @aa (backdated sometime before the Goop Festival)

[livingdeadgirl]

[ Ami looks a little different in today's video - her usual pigtails have been swapped out for twin braids, draped over her shoulders like Wednesday Addams, and although she's still got the black lipstick and eyeshadow going on, there's also a smudge of black dirt across her nose. She's vlogging, holding the camera in one hand while she waves to it with the other. ]

Hi, Anchor! It's ya girl Ami, coming to you live from the Agricultural Zone! Which, as you probably already know, has become -

[ She turns the camera around to show off an area that hasn't been harvested yet. It's bursting with colorful fruits and veggies and produce of undefined gender. One bright pinkish-purple shape, though, turns out to be Elleru - or at least her hair, since she's doing her bipedal thing.

Ami finishes her declaration in a goofy voice that probably signifies she's referencing something. ]

- a ROYAL RAINBOW! Haha. Hey Elleru, say hi to everybody!

[ Elleru waves and says something back - the mic is too far away to pick up what, but apparently it's funny, since Ami laughs as she turns the camera back to her own face. ]

Okay, but the thing is - we have no idea what any of these weird fruits are called. So clearly, we're just going to have to make up our own names for them! We've already gotten started.

[ She reaches offscreen and retrieves an oblong, speckled yellow fruit that's almost pyramidal in shape. Since it's ripe, the bottom has flared open to drop its seeds, leaving behind only the juicy, golden flesh. ]

For instance, this one is a hanging trumpet! And this one -

[ Next up: a smooth fist-sized fruit that's such a deep blue it's almost black, but as the light moves across it, it has an iridescent sheen. ]

- is a midnight puncher! Elleru came up with that one.

[ She pauses for a sec before holding up a third specimen, side-eyeing it like she's trying to think of something nice to say. At a glance, though, it looks like a regular ol' Red Delicious apple. ]

This one, uh... well, let me show you.

[ She sets the apple down on a blanket, where it immediately starts jittering around like a four-frame animated gif. Also, as it dances, viewers will soon see its other side, where there's a cartoonish but unmistakable face, wearing a big, stupid grin. ]

This one's just a seizure apple.

[ She keeps the camera on it in silence for several increasingly uncomfortable seconds. It's so... hypnotic. Gaze upon its juicy redness. Observe how it jitters. Witness its doofy-looking majesty.

Okay that's enough witnessing! We're moving on!!!! ]

Anyway! We don't want to unilaterally name all these bad boys by ourselves, and not just because we would definitely forget most of them! So let's make this a community effort.

[ One last camera pan (sorry about all this, by the way, if any of you get motion sickness) reveals a wide assortment of exotic fruits, neatly laid out on the same blanket as before. A smaller rainbow, but still eminently monarchical. 🌈 ]

Pick a fruit, any fruit, and give it a name! And be creative, there are no wrong answers!*

[ * There are some wrong answers. ]


[[ ooc: Ami and Elleru will both be responding below! How this'll work is, you can either have us make up a weird fruit visual, or you can invent your own! THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTERFRUIT. ]]

Comments

[livingdeadgirl]

kooshfruit!
omg i love it
the spikes are even kinda floppy like a koosh

[theweakhavepurpose]

Might even taste like one. I cut it open and it smelled bad enough I didn't want to try eating it.

[livingdeadgirl]

huh
well you never know right?
maybe its like a durian
where it smells awful but actually tastes good

allegedly
disclaimer i have never smelled or eaten a durian

[theweakhavepurpose]

I don't even know what durian is.

I'm not gonna taste it, I don't wanna puke.

[livingdeadgirl]

whatll you give me if i try it

[theweakhavepurpose]

I'll upvote your post.

I don't have anything, we kind of live in a bubble.

[livingdeadgirl]

i guess thats true
technically you cant even upvote my post
you have no bargaining chips whatsoever

... or at least
not conventional ones
come on deputy
surely you remember our fledgling black market

[theweakhavepurpose]

[Image attached]

First one's free.

[livingdeadgirl]

omg princess thug does a blop!
that is absolutely precious
ok i will give the kooshfroot a try
one moment please

[ A couple minutes pass as she and Elleru figure out how to get this freakin' thing open. And then: ]

mm! its pretty good actually
a little sour but not in a citrusy way
and the texture is more like a peach

[theweakhavepurpose]

[Okay good he was a little afraid she might have died from eating it.]

Thanks for taking one for the team.

How'd you even get it open?

[livingdeadgirl]

youre welcome
elleru busted it open with her bare hands!
im not even making that up
but the skin is really thick and tough
so it sort of exploded more than opened

[theweakhavepurpose]

She did? Holy shit.

So do the rest of us have to run it over with a tank?

[livingdeadgirl]

yes thats by far the simplest and most practical solution i can think of
now all we need is a tank

[theweakhavepurpose]

We can make a festival of it, lay out all the fruit and have a parade to crush it.

There's some sorta tank things by the big door that goes outside. Well more like ATVs but they have tank treads on them. It counts.

[livingdeadgirl]

oh heck yes
i will be sure to record it for posterity and likes
welcome to the hoodraulic tank channel
today we have this alien froo-it that i dont know what it is
but it is very dangerous and may attack at any time
we must deal with it

[ We could even get one of the Finnish guys to narrate for us! .... They would never, ever agree to it. ]

[theweakhavepurpose]

We'll give the hunting channel and NRA tv a run for their money.

I'll go check out our tank options and let you know.

[livingdeadgirl]

i thought that said nba tv at first
and on a related note we should definitely also play basketball with the fruits
but yessss please do
that would be epic if we could make it happen