redshiftrp | Video @Pratt

[The video opens with a idyllic shot of horses grazing in a pasture with a barn in the background. Well idyllic if you discount the fact that they're clearly on the agriculture level of Beacon, one of the horses is glowing and the other is Branwen and that some of the other animals in the paddock are mutated deer. It's about as close to scenic as this place gets.]

Kieran and I have been working on getting a ranch going up here. Cho's been doing tests on the deer and they're good to eat so I'm gonna try and get a little herd going. But then over here...

[The camera pans to some cleared areas nearby with the smoothness of someone who has used their phone to film hundreds of Vine videos back home.]

I thought we could start some sort of farm? I've grown tomatoes before but I don't know anything about farming, I'm more the livestock sort. So if anyone wants to work on this, you're more than welcome.

Actually if anyone wants to help with any of this feel free. But don't try to pet the deer. They're not friendly.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah? If we can magically make plants grow that's be amazing. I don't come from anywhere with magic so I sometimes forget that's a thing people can do.

Yeah it'll work out - and it's not like I knew I was gonna end up somewhere that I need to know the lifecycle of potatoes.

Same. Not a lick of magic where I'm from.

[Which he's kind of sad about now. That stuff's pretty cool!]

What're the chances of us findin' more livestock? I remember you said you found some cattle bones before... think there are any left?

We get to be the boring ones.

[Magic seems cool.]

Maybe? But I dunno where they'd be hiding. This place is big but not so big that there might be a secret cow level. Though considering what the deer look like they might have mutated and could be a lot smaller than we're expecting.

[Mutations and just the very idea of animals changing into unnatural versions of themselves are ideas that Kieran has never been exposed to, outside of spooky tales of monsters and ghouls around the campfire.]

Hey, if we can milk and eat 'em, I'll take little cows any day.

They'd eat less food too.

We should take a look and see what else we can find, maybe on one of the other agricultural levels. Chickens would be good too. Something is laying eggs, I've been stealing and eating them, but I'm thinking it's some sort of reptile because I've never seen anything brooding on the nest.

[On one hand... reptile eggs.]

[On the other, food.]

[Kieran gives Pratt's revelation some thought.]

Has anyone tried lettin' the eggs hatch to see what they turn into?

We'd need some sort of incubator I'd think. They may not need to be warm but they need to be at a constant temp. Probably. I only know about chickens.

You got me there. Only thing I know about reptiles is how to avoid gettin' eaten by 'em.

[GATORS, MAN.]

Well, that and shootin' them, but I got a feelin' we don't need much of that right now.

Is that a problem where you're from?

... Are you from Florida?

[This whole time has he been befriending Florida Man™?]

Nnnnnnot from Florida, no.

[ALAS, Kieran is only Florida Man^TM in spirit. Not in actuality.]

L-Last place I camped at was over in Lemoyne. Plenty of gators there in their bayous.

[Florida Man Lite™, the same taste with only half the newspaper articles.]

OH. Yeah alligators, that's.. something I've never dealt with. Only seen them in zoos. Man I hope we don't have radioactive alligators here.

[That's closer to it!]

[Kieran pauses then looks at Pratt with a gaze filled with sheer terror that quickly shifts into a quiet sarcasm.]

...Y'know, I didn't think that was possible 'til you just mentioned it.

Thanks fer that.

I think maybe I do have super powers, and that's it. Thinking up the literal worst case scenario.

Video @Pratt

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