> Ami: Reach out. ( text | @aa )

[livingdeadgirl]

[ Like most, Ami arrives confused and afraid. As soothing as Idris Elba's deep British voiceover is, the video still raises at least as many questions as it answers. First off, why is it Idris Elba? And if the very first room is in disrepair - there's exactly one living plant, incongruously - how much of the rest was false advertising, too?

The simplest and safest first step, though, is to grab a communicator and start skimming through the messages. One is like three hours long, she skips that for now... something something wreckage... something something antique documents... (Where are the timestamps? How old are these messages?) Ultimately, though, an audio post keeps her attention - a woman, terrified, being pursued by something inhuman.

By the time the sound cuts out, Ami's heart is racing. Suddenly, she's very glad she didn't go straight to exploring. ]

hello?
if anyone is out there, please respond!
my name's Ami Aihara, from Recolle, USA.
I don't know how I got here or what's going on
but I don't think it's safe for me to leave by myself.
I'm in the Idris Elba room. please help!!!

Comments

[theweakhavepurpose]

I'm 26.

Look our user base might be a captive audience but we still have to cater to them a LITTLE.

[livingdeadgirl]

pffft fine
what would YOU call our theme park then

[theweakhavepurpose]

I'm a cop remember? I don't have to come up with solutions, I just get to bash on other people's ideas.

We do have some sort of shitty Epcot spinoff. But I'm not sure how to phrase that with the appropriate amount of puns.

[livingdeadgirl]

epcop

[theweakhavepurpose]

i hate you so much right now.

[livingdeadgirl]

we could have a pendulum ride called "the long arm of the law"

[theweakhavepurpose]

The pun is solid, but a police themed amusement park sounds kind of terrible.

Especially in space.

[livingdeadgirl]

a space themed park would be pretty redundant though
oh oh one more
the epcop sphere is also known as the "policemans' ball"

[theweakhavepurpose]

The automatic doors play the Law & Order noise when you walk through.

We're getting ahead of ourselves anyway. I don't know how to make a rollercoaster, and if I made one I'm sure it would break about every building code imaginable.

[livingdeadgirl]

true but I'd be surprised if any part of this establishment is up to code
it certainly cant make things *more* broken

[theweakhavepurpose]

True.

With that attitude im gonna make a giant catapult to launch people into a bunch of mattresses.

[livingdeadgirl]

"one flew over the cuckoo's nest!"

[theweakhavepurpose]

i'm turning off notifications on you now.

[livingdeadgirl]

worth it