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[redwinekindofgirl]

So... few of us here have come from other places, right?

[She tucks her hair behind her ear and a few of the shorter strands fall forwards again. Annoyed, she puffs them out of her face with a quick exhale.]

I guess that doesn't matter, really-- Would you want to forget it all?

[Julie pauses, then adds some clarification.]

Where I've been, people didn't remember stuff after they left. Sometimes they'd come back and not remember they'd been there. Would you want that, or... would you want to remember?

Comments

cw: depression references

[fishermansweater]

[ He gets it. He really does. It wasn't so long ago that he'd been hospitalized for weeks because all he wanted was to stop hurting. There's plenty about himself that he doesn't like.

So again, he doesn't reply immediately.

She is, after all, making a very good point. ]

There's a lot I'd want to be rid of. But it's not as simple as that, because the worst things that have happened to me led to other things, things that are more important than bad memories. No matter how bad they are sometimes.

[redwinekindofgirl]

[Sometimes it's all too easy to get caught up in the bad things. In the shit things that happen to you that you can't control. The things that make you feel so helpless. The things that make you want to scream out at the unfairness of it.

But maybe he has a point, too. If the bad things that had happened to her hadn't happened...]

I guess. [She huffs out a sigh through her nose.] There's just... been a lot of bad, and not a lot of good.

[fishermansweater]

[ He nods, and off-camera his left hand starts to toy with the fabric of his pants, wrinkling it then smoothing it. ]

I understand. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier if those things just never happened.

[ He pauses, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. ]

If you'd asked me a couple of years ago, I'd probably have said something different.

[redwinekindofgirl]

Yeah.

[Sometimes it would be easier if a lot of things in her life had never happened, but that would take out a hell of a lot of her life. Things hadn't really been going right for her since before she hit double figures.]

I get it. A couple of years ago I might have said something different as well. [Something more hopeful, maybe. When she had a boyfriend she thought might want to marry her and when things weren't blowing up all around her.] But life just... fucking happens, doesn't it.

[fishermansweater]

[ It would take going back a long way to fix everything that's messed up in Finnick's life, even if he wanted to. He's thought about it, what he'd do if he had the chance to go back, to never fall under Snow's power. But for that to happen, he'd have to have never been a victor, to have never volunteered, never even gone to the Careers. His life would be unrecognizable.

He gives her a wryly sympathetic look. ] Yeah.

There was a while when I'd have done anything. I just wanted to stop hurting, but ... it worked out.

[redwinekindofgirl]

Yeah. Same here.

[There had been a lot of years like that, and she'd turned to a lot of different things to try and make the hurting stop. She'd done things she wasn't proud of, and things she would never tell anyone about. Julie had even considered ending it all.

But she hadn't.]

I wouldn't say things have really worked out for me, though. I thought they had, for a bit.