003✖; (text @hot.damn)

[circumitus]

[The following post has been filtered from un:bearly.bewitched AKA Elleru for obvious reasons:]

been living with a roommate for a little over ½ year and shes great and beautiful and makes food sometimes and says really nice things but just not entirely sure what she wants yet
sometimes all she wants to do is hang out in bed and sings to me while brushing my hair and it felt nice but no ones ever done that kind of thing before so not sure what to make of it

tho a couple months ago she said things like she has "wanted more than friendship" and "if you want to be with me you need only say so" but does that mean what it sounds like or is it reading too much into the situation??

asked to take it slow didnt know what else to say in case it was wrong
mind you she was naked when she said some of these things
but we were in the spa so ofc she was naked this is relevant

anyway

cant tell if shes pissed now bc recently started noticing things like a rat stuck in the drawer and someone definitely put it in there on purpose
the cat sure as hell wouldnt do something like that hed probably just eat it on the spot

[At least Rey doesn't get squeamish, so she was able to just let the poor critter go in the garden level WHERE IT BELONGS because what the hell, Elleru.]

today theres this big ass dead animal on the front door of our room
dont see her around but pretty sure it was her bc theres a paper flower left next to it that she usually makes so unless one of you fuckers out there fess up to playing games its probably her

at any rate is this a threat??? made a mistake?? she isnt human so maybe its possible to have just interpreted her signals the wrong way? or maybe shes mad about being asked to take whatever we have going on slow??

any advice is appreciate

[Sorry, Anchor. You're dealing with the most Useless Lesbian ever.]

Comments

[text; un: longinmouth]

[abheirrant]

[Well... at least this isn't a post offering a prize for murdering someone. Small miracles.]

Is she an upfront sort? The kind who would be bold enough to tell you if she was angry?

[circumitus]

[errrrr shit]

eyah actually she did make a point to state that lying is wrong

[abheirrant]

I think, then, that you have answered your own question.

[circumitus]

[...]

what???

[She did?]

[abheirrant]

If she is the sort of person who finds lying to be detestable, and she was forward enough to discuss her intentions with you, then why would she not do the same were she upset?

text @ Yamamoto

[tsuyoi_ame]

She sounds like a cat, leaving presents because she likes you. You should ask her on a date, that's starting slow.

[circumitus]

a date? serious?

[tsuyoi_ame]

Sure, you won't know till you try! You could take her on a walk in the park or I guess give her a present back?

[circumitus]

whats even an appropriate gift in response to something like this??

text; @Spides

[itsnotaonesie]

that's not so weird i bring my girlfriend dead rats all the time

that's a joke but i think she's super into you

[circumitus]

well thank fuck the rat was alive
cant say the same for the big corpse at the door tho
dont even know what to do with that thing

[itsnotaonesie]

i wonder if we can compost it
use it for fertilizer?
or maybe just eat it
what kind of animal is it?
i mean if it's really big i can move it for you

[circumitus]

dont feel like eating this thing
so fertilizer it is

its pretyy fucking huge
no worries can move it up to the gardening level tho

[Rey stronk.]

Text@ Smoking.Bomb

[bakudan_bambino]

A big ass dead animal? Sounds like a gift.

Just approach her about it? Like... maybe she's trying to see what you'd like more between the two. Flowers definitely sound like the more mundane approach to asking someone out. If you're interested, act on it. As long as you're honest, it should work out.

Dunno why you'd post this on the network. It sounds like you know her better than most of us.

[circumitus]

dont know what to say never been given flowers (real or otherwise) OR big animal carcasses by anyone before
the latter more unorthodox than the first

general consensus has been "its a gift" tho
frm what shes mentioned about her people it does sound more likely now

[bakudan_bambino]

Same.

If you ask if it was left by her and she doesn’t own up to it, you could always drop some hints. Sounds like that’s what she’s been doing. Beat her at her own game, Rey.

[circumitus]

wait this is a game now??
what the fuck do???

text; un: @starscream

[vosseeker]

[ Wow. Wow.. Look, Starscream's hardly the guy to ask about relationships but even he's not this bad. Primus, and he'd thought Skywarp was dense. ]

I'm not sure how much more obvious she could have been, short of shoving you into the berth.

[circumitus]

what the fuck does mooring have to do with anything???

[It takes her another moment after she types that, and then:]

oh

shit

you mean THAT kind of berth

[...]

right?

[i'm so sorry]

[vosseeker]

Yes, "that" kind of berth.

[circumitus]

well then

good thing for being in the navy once

[She can't believe she just texted those words.]

Text; un: SmexySmuppets69

[eatdavesbabies]

so at first I was going to tell you unless you were living with a disney princess this girl is clearly hitting on your dumb ass. then it turns out she’s less belle dragging books around her backwater town and more grendel dragging fresh fucking game to their cave.

so before you do anything else, you’ve got to establish dominance.

[circumitus]

did you sriously just go from referencing disney to fucking beowulf???

thng is she likes books but looks like shes also trying to prove something by bringing corpses to our door dont know how youre supposed to top that

[eatdavesbabies]

you bring back a bigger corpse. prove you're the alpha. prove you have this under control.

text; @Qubit

[superposition]

[ Oh wow, there actually is someone out there more romantically dense than Qubit? Holy shit, stop the presses. ]

Well, now, that's interesting. It rather sounds like a kaulahren mating ritual, if I'm not mistaken.